Dear Alty

[Doktor Howl]

Sir:

Don't think we aren't on to you.  You stay your ass in Alaska, you degenerate.  Anyway, there's no permafrost for you to eat down here, so you'd starve anyway.  You fucking Artic weirdos are all alike.  Just stay up there and do your civic duty by knocking one of Palin's daughters up.  Your kind we can do without, down here in our sunny paradise.  You'd just ruin it with your heathen ways.

Sincerely,
Dok

[Salty]

Dok,

You can keep your sunshine. I, on the other hand, will live a glorious skin-cancer free life leisurely impregnating as many curvy couch potatoes as I see fit. Why do you think we refuse to wear condoms, other than because they tend to freeze before we can get them on? Cash in hand, my man, sweet cash in hand. They PAY us to procreate.

And anyway, the lack of sun has another benefit to aforementioned procreation: Anyone is pretty much fair game since you can't seem 'em. 

Come economic meltdown, when inevitable canibalism strikes, I'll be sitting pretty with plenty meaty stoners who haven't used their legs in decades.  Meanwhile you'll be stuck with stringy desert rats, dried out to whisps from your brutal sun.

Veiwing the glorious mountainside,
alty. 


PS
Palins daughters (the legal ones anyway) 

[Doktor Howl]

So.

How much for the women?

Dok,
Will otherwise have to raid the East coast.

[LMNO]

So.

How much for the women?

Dok,
Will otherwise have to raid the East coast.

MINE.

[Doktor Howl]

So.

How much for the women?

Dok,
Will otherwise have to raid the East coast.

MINE.

You'll have to catch me first, 'stache-man.

[Salty]

So.

How much for the women?

Dok,
Will otherwise have to raid the East coast.

Money we have.

However, depending on your ability to grow fruits and vegetables, I'm sure we could work out some barter arrangement.

alty,
Scurvy is really staring to be a problem.

[Richter]

Dok,

LMNO has barricaded the metro area, but thankfully I am still Providence

The first venue has been spotted.  They openened it jsut down the street from me.  In a row of failing guido clubs and decent italian trattoria they have opened a mexican joint.  "3 Gringos".

In decency though, they call it a "Cantina" not a "Bodega".  I refuse to beleive we can have bodegas up here.  It just couldn't be done justice, as this is a land of dive bars, where you stagger out form the painted plywood walls to die lonely in the snow.  It replaced a perfectly well meaning seedy pool hall, and deserves a cursory look.  Even odds whether or not you can order in Spanish.

If you must have women, I know men who will provide you such.  One dirty old fellow tried to trade one of our rapier crew for sword, dagger, and accoutrements enough to well equip two men.  It fell through, and he then unwisely refused my own offer (Capital to equip one and a half) (I needed spare parts).  With him, you may be able to arrange things.

[Doktor Howl]

Dok,

LMNO has barricaded the metro area, but thankfully I am still Providence

The first venue has been spotted.  They openened it jsut down the street from me.  In a row of failing guido clubs and decent italian trattoria they have opened a mexican joint.  "3 Gringos".

In decency though, they call it a "Cantina" not a "Bodega".  I refuse to beleive we can have bodegas up here.  It just couldn't be done justice, as this is a land of dive bars, where you stagger out form the painted plywood walls to die lonely in the snow.  It replaced a perfectly well meaning seedy pool hall, and deserves a cursory look.  Even odds whether or not you can order in Spanish.

If you must have women, I know men who will provide you such.  One dirty old fellow tried to trade one of our rapier crew for sword, dagger, and accoutrements enough to well equip two men.  It fell through, and he then unwisely refused my own offer (Capital to equip one and a half) (I needed spare parts).  With him, you may be able to arrange things.

I must indeed have women.  I have many unnatural lusts, all of which must be slaked periodically...the alternative is simply too dire.  The "swimmers" back up into my brain, and I get even hairier. 

Women, or the expense of silver bullets.  You decide.  I mean, it's YOUR coast.

[Dysnomia]

Meanwhile, my fortress is already taking shape in Calispagland where I wait patiently for Mother Palin to assume the throne in the year 2012, thus beginning the apocalypse.  From there Calispagland will break off from the United States, and form it's own nation.  A nation of stoners, surfers, playboy bunnies, and techno geeks.

[BadBeast]

Dok,

LMNO has barricaded the metro area, but thankfully I am still Providence

The first venue has been spotted.  They openened it jsut down the street from me.  In a row of failing guido clubs and decent italian trattoria they have opened a mexican joint.  "3 Gringos".

In decency though, they call it a "Cantina" not a "Bodega".  I refuse to beleive we can have bodegas up here.  It just couldn't be done justice, as this is a land of dive bars, where you stagger out form the painted plywood walls to die lonely in the snow.  It replaced a perfectly well meaning seedy pool hall, and deserves a cursory look.  Even odds whether or not you can order in Spanish.

If you must have women, I know men who will provide you such.  One dirty old fellow tried to trade one of our rapier crew for sword, dagger, and accoutrements enough to well equip two men.  It fell through, and he then unwisely refused my own offer (Capital to equip one and a half) (I needed spare parts).  With him, you may be able to arrange things.

I must indeed have women.  I have many unnatural lusts, all of which must be slaked periodically...the alternative is simply too dire.  The "swimmers" back up into my brain, and I get even hairier. 



Women, or the expense of silver bullets.  You decide.  I mean, it's YOUR coast.

If you wait for a few months, the Sun goes down for at least six months in Alaska and Scandinavia. (How else did that dreadful Palin Woman ever get her uterus prodded into such fecundity?)

I know that this is the time of year when the Men put up fences, to stop their women, and reindeer fleeing south in droves.