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Sometimes I rattle the cage and beat my head uselessly against its bars, but sometimes, I can shake one loose and use it as a dildo.

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QUICK POLL TIME!

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, June 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM

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MY PARENTS ARE TRAVELING 1500 MILES TO VISIT ME AT THE END OF THE MONTH. WHAT DO I DO!? My dad is a FUNDAMENTALIST BAPTIST PREACHER.

Hang a sign on the door that says, "As for me and my house, we will serve... ALLAH!" and have my wife greet them at the door wearing a traditional Muslim head scarf.
6 (20%)
Get an ENORMOUS bible, and use it as a door stop.
9 (30%)
Paint a big picture of an erect penis on the bathroom wall directly ahead of the toilet.
7 (23.3%)
Be nice.
8 (26.7%)

Total Members Voted: 30

Voting closed: July 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM

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tyrannosaurus vex

June 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM
ANSWER!
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Adios

#1
June 02, 2010, 12:21:18 AM
NOTA


Register with ULC, become a minister and have a meaningful conversation preacher to preacher.

Cramulus

#2
June 02, 2010, 12:28:12 AM
other: restuff stuff your tissue box with those tissue thin bible pages

roll up bible / principia page in toilet paper roll


edit: do this everywhere

BADGE OF HONOR

#3
June 02, 2010, 12:39:39 AM
I can't believe I'm the only one who voted for penis.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Jasper

#4
June 02, 2010, 12:49:40 AM
You can't do all three AND be nice? :(

Doktor Howl

#5
June 02, 2010, 03:55:16 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on June 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM
ANSWER!

Be nice.  You'll miss him when he's gone.
Molon Lube

notathing

#6
June 02, 2010, 04:01:10 AM
i say

shave your head and eyebrows

and

tell him you joined this religious cult

called discordianism

PopeTom

#7
June 02, 2010, 04:06:49 AM
While I voted for the penis I think a better option would be mounting a mirror opposite the toilet so that anyone sitting on it will ge a full head to toe view of themselves pooping.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

Jasper

#8
June 02, 2010, 04:42:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 02, 2010, 03:55:16 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on June 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM
ANSWER!

Be nice.  You'll miss him when he's gone.

If I'm being asked for actual advice, then this. 

Nephew Twiddleton

#9
June 02, 2010, 08:24:46 AM
Quote from: Sigmatic on June 02, 2010, 04:42:27 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 02, 2010, 03:55:16 AM
Quote from: vexati0n on June 01, 2010, 11:56:21 PM
ANSWER!

Be nice.  You'll miss him when he's gone.

If I'm being asked for actual advice, then this. 

Yeah that's the way to go about it. Family is family. I voted for penis, but, I'd never do that to my dad. We have an understanding that we don't speak about. He knows vaguely what I am and it's not what he is. Nuff said.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS
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