Gurdjieff and "I"

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

I have been turned on to Gurdjieff recently.  My last book was "Eating the "I""  by William Patrick Patterson.  It starts pretty well and I loved the twist ending.  Also my heart chakra almost went super nova going through all the riveting emotional scenes while trying to remember myself.






I forgot to remember myself while I was writing this.
Moonpie.

[Rupert Giles]

I have been turned on to Gurdjieff recently.  My last book was "Eating the "I""  by William Patrick Patterson.  It starts pretty well and I loved the twist ending.  Also my heart chakra almost went super nova going through all the riveting emotional scenes while trying to remember myself.






I forgot to remember myself while I was writing this.
Moonpie.

I forget myself sometimes.  I remember this one time, I was rummaging through my pouches with several other nice fellows I'd met.  I had mentioned my uncle, Trapspringer, and they had all chortled in that they had a Trapspringer in their family, too!  So we sat there for a few hours, I mean, I guess a few hours, I wasn't really paying attention to time, and we finally worked out we were all distant cousins!  It was so nice.  I'd never met so much of my family all at once, except for that one time back home at a family luncheon where people just kept on showing up and my mother said, "They eat like family," so I was happy.

Anyway, last time I was talking about Raistlin.  He has this really funny way of staring at you that would make this little knot rise up in your throat in a rather unpleasant way.  It reminded me of this one time, when I was about to be stepped on by this large, rather mean and angry giant who wasn't happy about the gods having done what they wanted, and I was about to be squished, and then I realized that I had never given my eulogy at my friend Caramon's funereal.

Y'see, Caramon was a human, and I figured, one day, while I was talking to Fizban -- have I told you about Fizban?  He's the god Paladine, although most of the time he doesn't act very godly.  He mainly searches for his hat, which he claims to have lost, though it's usually on his head, and he tries to remember the words to his spells.  This one time he was trying to remember a word and he magicked a fireball right in the middle of this wagon we were all locked up in.  It really upset som-  Oh, right, Caramon.

See, I had been talking to Fizban, and I was telling him all about how I really wanted to let everyone know how good a friend he had been to me, except I also remembered that Kender really, through no fault of their own, have this tendancy to not live very long.  Tanis would say we do things that aren't conducive of a long life, like taunting minotaurs, though most of them deserve it -- it gets them really riled up when you go 'MOO' at them -- or we get squashed by ogres.  I've never been squashed by an ogre, and I'd really like to try it, except I don't think I'd like being squashed all that much.

So, anyway, Fizban gave me this thing called the Device of Time Journeying, a really neat magickal thingy that Caramon -- that's Raistlin's brother, a really nice guy, always nice to Kender -- had used this one time.  See, Raistlin had gotten really powerful, and I guess he had forgotten what he was doing, because he wasn't a really 'evil' person, he just had this tendancy of doing things that weren't nice in a big way, and see, he went back in time to kill this evil wizard Fistamawhatchyoucallitzus, and take his place, and Caramon and I went back and time to sto-  oh, right.

See, Fizban gave me this thing, and I used it to go ahead in time, except I arrived right after Caramon's funeral, at the refreshments afterwards, and I was very upset, so I went back to where I had been, and one thing lead to anouther, and I got very mixed up, and then a few years went by, and I found myself about to be stepped on by that big giant I told you about.

So I figured, 'There's no time like the future,' and I jumped ahead, except everything was horribly wrong, and the world wasn't the way it was supposed to be, and Takhisis had stolen it away, and to cut a long story short I went back to being squashed so everything wouldn't blink out of existance, which sounds like an aweful waste of a world, but if they'd put us Kender in charge in the first place, none of this would have ever happened.

Uh, where was I?

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

Gurdgieff always said that needless conversation is what made us forget ourselves.  Of course Ouspensky loved the sound of his own voice, so there they were having a needless conversation about needless conversations...

The point is that when Ouspensky finally saw Gurdgieff on the astral plane he ran away and never came back.

The moral of the story is to make damn sure that your cult leader is not a member of the British intelligence.

[Chef]

IS DIS A NERD CONVENTION?

D/N/T.

CHEF,
OWNS DIS JOINT.

[Guido Finucci]

IS DIS A NERD CONVENTION?

D/N/T.

CHEF,
OWNS DIS JOINT.

Chef! You're back! I thought you had gone clubbing, never to return.

[Chef]

IS DIS A NERD CONVENTION?

D/N/T.

CHEF,
OWNS DIS JOINT.

Chef! You're back! I thought you had gone clubbing, never to return.

EVEN THE MIGHTY MIGHTY CHEF HAS HIM LIMITS, SON!

CHEF,
TRIES TO PACE HIMSELF.

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

IS DIS A NERD CONVENTION?

D/N/T.

CHEF,
OWNS DIS JOINT.

MIGHTY CHEF thinks learning from a book is too nerdy for him.  Perhaps MIGHTY CHEF likes to get initiated into the mysteries in person yesss.




giant squid alert someone get Captain Ahab on the line

[Guido Finucci]

EVEN THE MIGHTY MIGHTY CHEF HAS HIM LIMITS, SON!

The Mighty Chef? Limits? I thought you siad you were Tongan.  

[Chef]

IS DIS A NERD CONVENTION?

D/N/T.

CHEF,
OWNS DIS JOINT.

MIGHTY CHEF thinks learning from a book is too nerdy for him.  Perhaps MIGHTY CHEF likes to get initiated into the mysteries in person yesss.




giant squid alert someone get Captain Ahab on the line

YOU TESTING ME, PUNK?

DO NEVER!

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

Of course we are testing you.  How else do you expect to get accepted.

I thought it was pretty obvious.

[Chef]

Of course we are testing you.  How else do you expect to get accepted.

I thought it was pretty obvious.

DO NEVER TEST, SON.  JUST WALK AWAY.

STEP TO ME, YOU BEST CHECK YOUR LIFE INSURANCE FIRST!

DIGTBK!

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

Of course we are testing you.  How else do you expect to get accepted.

I thought it was pretty obvious.

DO NEVER TEST, SON.  JUST WALK AWAY.

STEP TO ME, YOU BEST CHECK YOUR LIFE INSURANCE FIRST!

DIGTBK!

walks away

you failed your sense of humor test

[Chef]

Of course we are testing you.  How else do you expect to get accepted.

I thought it was pretty obvious.

DO NEVER TEST, SON.  JUST WALK AWAY.

STEP TO ME, YOU BEST CHECK YOUR LIFE INSURANCE FIRST!

DIGTBK!

walks away

you failed your sense of humor test

MAYBE IT'S YOUR DELIVERY, SON.

CHEF,
HAS SEEN FUNNIER THINGS IN HIS STOOLS.

[The Anti-Cabbage or Fig-1]

Oh no this is very serious business

[Rupert Giles]

Oh no this is very serious business

Stewie Uber Alles.