ATTN, OLD SCHOOL PDers (pre 2006):

[LMNO]

No.


We, as a country, have killed thousands of Afghan and coalition force people to obtain an extremely large cell phone battery.

[Doktor Howl]

Wait. 

Not to threadjack, but I have to ask.

I don't even want to ask.

Is it being implied here that we, as a country, have killed thousands of Afghan and coalition force people to obtain a psychoactive substance?

Batteries.  Right now, one country has a pretty decent stranglehold on lithium, which is fast becoming a critical metal.  That's about to change.

[Jasper]

Oh, good.  I was worried there for a moment.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh, good.  I was worried there for a moment.

Yeah, the motivation behind national-scale armed robbery is different, which makes everything okay.

[Jasper]

Oh, good.  I was worried there for a moment.

Yeah, the motivation behind national-scale armed robbery is different, which makes everything okay.

Not really, I'm just more used to my country acting more like a thug than a crazed druggie.

[Cain]

As I understand it, the idea that Afghanistan could become "the Saudi Arabia of lithium" was meant to convince war-weary Americans that they should continue to try and occupy the country indefinitely*.  Where exactly the lithium can into this, either to entice bipolar disorder suffering troops, to calm down jihadis, or give all potential jihadis laptops and free wifi, is uncertain.


*a notion which turned out brilliantly for the Soviets and Imperial Britain.  No, really.

[East Coast Hustle]

There are also large deposits of copper and gold.

[East Coast Hustle]

It's not so much that American national strategic interests are propelling this as that the people entrusted with furthering those interests all have their own financial interests which tend to include heavy investment in resource extraction companies.

[Cain]

Yeah.  Also, if anything, attempts to extract it will fuel the conflict in Afghanistan, rather than bring about prosperity which will cause a decline in conflict (see: Niger Delta).

[Mangrove]

Hugh,

So you see what happens when you get into all that Hail Eris shit?

"I like Chaos! Chaos is fun! Whee.......tequila stabbity.....[cue theme to The Crying Game]"

[Jasper]

Poor Hugh.  We Hardly Liked Ye.

[Faust]

Turns out old Irreverend Hugh is a little indisposed, these days.

He took a 6 month sabbatical in Thailand, then moved on to the Phillipines, where he met some crazy hot chick, and married her.  HFLS has found out that it turns out that she wasn't always a woman (not sure precisely how, might have come from Hugh himself), and has apparently found some cheap Fillipino pron with Hugh's wife when she still had a dick.  He of course sent this on to Hugh with a malicious giggle.

Apparently, all of this has made Hugh go off the deep end entirely, resulting in his indefinite hospitalization.

Speculation as to what horrible fucking viruses he came out of this with are left to you, dear reader.  I mean, it's not like a Phillipine male/male pornstar is going to pick anything up, right?

<--- The best revenge is watching your enemies self-immolate.

Ahahahahahahaaha. Couldn't happen to a nicer person.

[President Television]

^
This.

btw, is there a raised eyebrow emote?

How's this?


EMOTICON REQUEST PENDING-

[Doktor Howl]

[President Television]

Excellent.