This Shit Just HAS to Stop.

[Jasper]

Cram's idea.  Definitely.

[Dimocritus]

Now they're spraying down all the nooks and crannies with an air compressor... I'm gonna rework Crams flyer and I really think that "charity car wash" is a good idea, too.

[Cramulus]

posters for local trees:

Signs of being one of THEM:
-obsessive car washing
-compulsive lawn mowing
-disordered grinning

Look out for THEM. They could be ANYWHERE.

clicky

look at this guy, he just busts out a poster as if it ain't no thang. You are the MAN, Syn!

[MagnificentSloth]

Make a car porn magazine and put it in their mail box addressed to one of their kids.

[Dimocritus]

Effects of prolonged exposure to extreme suburban behaviors:

Terminal dullness.
Lowered standards.
Back and neck injuries.
Misplaced priorities.
Decreased emotional reactions.
Pimples.
Inability to maintain an objective outlook on reality.
Inability to maintain an erection without medication.


Anymore anyone wants to add before I make the flyer?

[Sister_Gothique]

*Sudden attraction to lawn mowers, lawn gnomes, vacuum attachments and assorted motor vehicle parts.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I have an alternative idea, should the flyers get taken down too quickly:

Get two chalkboard erasers, a box of brightly colored chalk, and a reliable apparatus that tells you what direction the wind is blowing just outside your window.

Grind a stick of chalk to powder and work it into the erasers.

When the wind is blowing towards this car that is entirely too clean, go out to your yard and clap the erasers together for a few minutes.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I have an alternative idea, should the flyers get taken down too quickly:

Get two chalkboard erasers, a box of brightly colored chalk, and a reliable apparatus that tells you what direction the wind is blowing just outside your window.

Grind a stick of chalk to powder and work it into the erasers.

When the wind is blowing towards this car that is entirely too clean, go out to your yard and clap the erasers together for a few minutes.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Ooooooh, this made me chuckle out loud a lot and I'm not even sure it was that funny but it was to me.

Heh! Fucking chalk

[cavehamster]

Are there trees overhanging where these clean cars are parked?  I've noted to my dismay that the fruit trees that hang over my driveway attract copious amounts of birds, which means your car gets covered in bird poop rather quickly.  If you could attract birds it would at least give them something to clean off...

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I have an alternative idea, should the flyers get taken down too quickly:

Get two chalkboard erasers, a box of brightly colored chalk, and a reliable apparatus that tells you what direction the wind is blowing just outside your window.

Grind a stick of chalk to powder and work it into the erasers.

When the wind is blowing towards this car that is entirely too clean, go out to your yard and clap the erasers together for a few minutes.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Ooooooh, this made me chuckle out loud a lot and I'm not even sure it was that funny but it was to me.

Heh! Fucking chalk

[Cain]

Dimo, just email them porn.  They'll lose interest in the car soon enough (be sure to eventually send the top shelf stuff, with the parasite enthusiasts etc).

[Cramulus]

Effects of prolonged exposure to extreme suburban behaviors:

Terminal dullness.
Lowered standards.
Back and neck injuries.
Misplaced priorities.
Decreased emotional reactions.
Pimples.
Inability to maintain an objective outlook on reality.
Inability to maintain an erection without medication.


Anymore anyone wants to add before I make the flyer?

these are a little judgmental IMO

The above lines sound like they were written by somebody who's too good for the suburbs. They're just insults, they're probably not going to snap anybody into a new way of thinking.


perhaps try phrasing these as if they came from INSIDE the suburban mindset

[Dimocritus]

I have an alternative idea, should the flyers get taken down too quickly:

Get two chalkboard erasers, a box of brightly colored chalk, and a reliable apparatus that tells you what direction the wind is blowing just outside your window.

Grind a stick of chalk to powder and work it into the erasers.

When the wind is blowing towards this car that is entirely too clean, go out to your yard and clap the erasers together for a few minutes.

I like.

these are a little judgmental IMO

The above lines sound like they were written by somebody who's too good for the suburbs. They're just insults, they're probably not going to snap anybody into a new way of thinking.


perhaps try phrasing these as if they came from INSIDE the suburban mindset

Obviously I'm not too good for the suburbs. I live there. Honestly, I thought most of those were kinda funny, except maybe "terminal dullness." But, then again, I'm not entirely sure I understand what you mean by rephrasing as if they came from inside  the suburban mindset. Perhaps you could give me an example of what you mean?

[Cramulus]

I dunno -- it's just that consciousness change rarely comes from external signals. By pointing out that the suburbs gives you pimples it just sounds like you're making fun of them. Which is okay, I'm just not sure if it accomplishes your goal as well.

just to pinpoint one example--
"Decreased emotional reactions."

I think this would be more effective if phrased from a suburban point of view about the outsiders that don't have decreased emotional reactions. You'd be phrasing the poster about how you can identify strangers who aren't from around here by their genuine interest in things, their strange emotional receptivity, their horrible unwashed cars and uncut lawns...

[Dimocritus]

I dunno -- it's just that consciousness change rarely comes from external signals. By pointing out that the suburbs gives you pimples it just sounds like you're making fun of them. Which is okay, I'm just not sure if it accomplishes your goal as well.

just to pinpoint one example--
"Decreased emotional reactions."

I think this would be more effective if phrased from a suburban point of view about the outsiders that don't have decreased emotional reactions. You'd be phrasing the poster about how you can identify strangers who aren't from around here by their genuine interest in things, their strange emotional receptivity, their horrible unwashed cars and uncut lawns...

I just aaahhh, I see'd out loud. This makes perfects sense to me now. Thanks Cram, you're always good for taking my silliness and helping me assign it some actual value.

The great thing about using the angle you describe, is that I'll (we'll?) be able to get more mileage out of the poster. It won't just be a one off thing to piss off the neighbors and it'll be effective in any suburb. That's kinda why I asked for your help, because I would rather have a poster with some "staying power" as opposed to just a gag. An aside, how did you get to be so goddamn awesome, Cram?

Will try to put together a draft this afternoon, assuming that I can finish painting my basement...