Lazy-Boy

[Salty]

All right, Discordia, I could use some help.

I own a recliner that is just chock-full-o-cat-pee. To my knowledge there's not a damned thing that's gonna get that smell out. Either way I hate the fucking thing.

All my furniture, as well as all every other possession of mine, is crammed into one small room that I share with the little Altys and it's not helping my day to day state of mind.

The pee-chair needs to go. I'd donate it, but can't find any crazy cat ladies who wouldn't mind the smell, and I don't want to be the kind of dick that just drops off a nasty urine-laced recliner at the Salvation Army.

However, as I take shit from people for a living now, I have a MIGHTY URGE to be the kind of dick that leaves a urine-laced recliner in some place it totally doesn't belong.

My first thought was to haul it as quickly as possible into the indoor ice-rink in the center of one of our malls, but would have to go directly in front of the security guard station to do so, and that just wouldn't last long. Shootings have happened at that mall recently and they don't fuck around.

I'm mulling it over and will do something tomorrow, but I wanted to see if you all had any ideas.

[Freeky]

Is there a pubilc park nearby or playground? If so, set it up right next to the swings or slide.

[Salty]

Ooh I like that.
Couple of others I was thinking of:
Bus stop.
Public tennis court.
And...our mayor's a real prick. Last year he pushed for and ensured that there wouldn't be any laws protecting people from being turned down for housing based on sexual orientation, among other things.

He's been cracking down on panhandling recently, so I thought maybe I'd set the chair where we have a lot of people panhandling.

[Salty]

Actually, scratch that last bit for its obvious stupidity.

[LMNO]

Video camera + kerosene + empty lot.



Call it an performance art.

[Adios]

Video camera + kerosene + church parking lot on a Sunday.



Call it an performance art.

Fixed that for you.

[LMNO]

Why not mix it up, and make it a Shinto shrine? 

[Salty]

I don't think we have one of those. But we do have a Lutheran church where I got busted with a boy in a car when I was 17. 16-20 members of the church all checking out mah junk.

I could definitely use some catharsis. Burning is good.

[Disco Pickle]

white wine, vinegar and baking soda will get the smell out..  then lots of soap and water..

of course, then it would have to dry.

but since you're keen on getting rid of it, this probably doesn't help.

btw: setting things on fire near churches, while hilarious, can get you in a looooot of trouble.  Asshole prosecutors might try and find a way to make it a hate crime or some such shit.

[Salty]

Hm. Do I mix those things together, then apply? Just curious.

Since I do in fact hate those places and dont really want or need a felony charge in my life, best to avoid churches  Good looking out. Also, it would be a shame to ruin the video because I had to haul serious ass.

I'm definitely leaning toward that art option though. I needs me some art.

[Disco Pickle]

Hm. Do I mix those things together, then apply? Just curious.

Since I do in fact hate those places and dont really want or need a felony charge in my life, best to avoid churches  Good looking out. Also, it would be a shame to ruin the video because I had to haul serious ass.

I'm definitely leaning toward that art option though. I needs me some art.

yeah, mix them together.  you don't want a paste, so dont put in so much baking soda that it thickens up, but use equal parts white wine and vinegar.

[Salty]

 
Dammit. I hate wasting things that are perfectly serviceable/edible/etc. It disgusts me deeply.

So as much as I'd love to burn the fucker I'm going to try that instead and then give it to a second-hand shop or craigslist it.

Thanks for the tip.
Also, FUCK YOU FOR TAKING MY PRECIOUS FIRE AWAY.

[The Johnny]

EITHJER

dismantle the cloth, drown it in vinegar - then wash it off in water - then drown it in 50% grade salt water

OR

bleach

[Salty]

 
Dude. Lazy-Boy.
Sounds like it may work if nothing else will.
Thanks.

[Triple Zero]

bleach is going to make the fabric fall apart though. unless you're real careful with the amount. but it doesn't really do much except kill bacteria and .. bleach.