GA blogs an essay: I Fucking Hate Homer

[Phox]

Odysseus: I throw a javelin at them.
DM: Roll to hit... you kill Demoptolemus.  A suitor throws a javelin at you -
Athene: I'm a god.  It misses.
DM: Okay, it misses.
Telemachus: I throw a javelin.
DM: Roll to hit... you kill Eurypades.  A suitor throws a javelin at your swineherd -
Athene: And misses.
DM: Fine.  The swineherd throws a javelin, and kills Elatos, a suitor throws a javelin and misses...

Repeat that for few cycles.  Eventually even Athene gets board of this, and hold up the Aegis, which causes all the suitors to scatter, and Odysseus, Telemachus, and two servants kill the remaining hundred-odd suitors in hand-to-hand combat.  Then they kill a bunch of the serving girls, and then everyone still alive lives happily ever after.

I do love this part of the poem though. it's the classical equivalent of RAMBO: First Blood

I liken it to a Tarentino film.

But, Odysseus sucks. I hate Odysseus. And Homer is pretentious, because he has his own era and his own dialect of a Greek.

One important thing to note: Classical Greek, and especially Homeric Greek, is difficult to make into coherent, entertaining English while still keeping to the intent of the story. Blaming Homer for sucking at writing is counterintuitive, unless you read it in (his) Greek. Better bet is to blame sucky, boring translators.

[Cramulus]

I like Odysseus. The type of heroism he displays is lost on us moderns. He's a bastard, but he's a magnificent bastard.

[Phox]

I like Odysseus. The type of heroism he displays is lost on us moderns. He's a bastard, but he's a magnificent bastard.

You have a point, Cram, but there is no accounting for taste. Then again, I cream for Ajax, so I'm biased.