Hostile Reactions to Mundane Things

[Doktor Howl]

Yeah but Howl, your rants actually have meaning.  They signify truths about the world we live in.

This guy's just having a rage-gasm over people in shorts.

You haven't seen me lose my shit in the welding shed.  

At least when your apoplectic towering rage is completely meaningless, it's fun to watch.

That's what my crew says. 

[Cramulus]

there is totally a time and a place for ranting. And there are tons of topics which NEED ranting about.

What I'm describing here is a more generalized negativity that brings down everybody around you. This was my Sunday morning - I wanted to relax, hang out with friends, nosh on a bagel and coffee. But it wasn't relaxing - I spent 20 minutes listening to somebody bitch about trivial stuff which doesn't hurt anybody.

And this is a greater theme, I think. I know a LOT of people that only have one mode - criticism. I think my roommate gets off on being judgmental, it makes him feel empowered. The other day he was ranting about conservatives and what goonfucks they are. At some point during the monologue I pointed out a flaw in his reasoning and it launched him into this epic screed about how stupid republicans are and how they don't understand America. By the end it wasn't even a response to what I said, he was just channeling disgust.

Ultimately, I find that people who are disgusted all the time are no fun to hang out with.

My GF has shades of the same problem - it's not that she's critical, but she is often very pessimistic and negative. She gets fixated on problems and dismissive of solutions. Sometimes people get very protective of their bad mood - at a certain point you just have to back away slowly.

[Cramulus]

related: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/08/11/catharsis/

The Misconception: Venting your anger is an effective way to reduce stress and prevent lashing out at friends and family.

The Truth: Venting increases aggressive behavior over time.

[Doktor Howl]

related: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/08/11/catharsis/

The Misconception: Venting your anger is an effective way to reduce stress and prevent lashing out at friends and family.

The Truth: Venting increases aggressive behavior over time.

I fail to see why this is undesirable.  You would, too, if you were me.

[Doktor Howl]

there is totally a time and a place for ranting. And there are tons of topics which NEED ranting about.

Yes.  There are approximately 6,835,000,000 topics that need ranting about.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I think the difference between healthy rant and unhealthy whining is where your friend is maybe falling between the cracks. Ranting is powerful and it's inclusive - the person whom the rant is being imparted upon must either be actively participating or passively entertained. Your mate sounds more like a moaner than a ranter to me. An important distinction.

[Jasper]

Yeah.  I still maintain that it's a drug.  It does feel good to get all righteous and full of vinegar.  It's easy to lose perspective when you're channeling righteous wrath.

[Cramulus]

I like this bit:

If you get into an argument, or someone cuts you off in traffic, or you get called an awful name, venting will not dissipate the negative energy. It will, however, feel great.

That's the thing. Catharsis will make you feel good, but it's an emotional hamster wheel. The emotion which led you to catharsis will still be there afterward, and if it made you feel good, you'll seek it out again in the future.

Video games, horror movies, romance novels – all fun, but no psychologist would prescribe these outlets as a cure for anger or fear or loneliness.

Flailing in a mosh pit or screaming along to death metal doesn't release your demons, it prolongs your angst.

Smashing plates or kicking doors after a fight with a roommate, spouse or lover doesn't redirect your fury, it perpetuates your rancor.

If you spank your children while infuriated, remember you are reinforcing something inside yourself.

Common sense says venting is an important way to ease tension, but common sense is wrong. Venting – catharsis – is pouring fuel into a fire.

[Jasper]

I read that.

And even though I know that venting is bad emotional hygiene, I still do it sometimes.  I don't believe in completely subverting my anger reflex, even though I could. 

It would make me seem less human to others, and it would rob me of a primal side of myself that has a lot of vitality.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Ranting for me is a creative act. It's reinforcing the distinction between me and the ingorant fuckheads that comprise the majority of the human race. And they are ignorant fuckheads, oh yes. And I refuse to not feel like they deserve my scorn. And I will make you laugh when I pour said scorn upon them. That's the creative part. Fuck turning the other cheek. Fuck pretending that stupidity and ignorance is somehow acceptable if the majority is practicing it. Fuck live and let live.  

[Cramulus]

I read that.

And even though I know that venting is bad emotional hygiene, I still do it sometimes.  I don't believe in completely subverting my anger reflex, even though I could. 

It would make me seem less human to others, and it would rob me of a primal side of myself that has a lot of vitality.

totally. LHX wrote really well about that - http://blackironprison.com/index.php?title=Pipe_Bombs

get angry, but DO something with that anger!

I think that's the best explanation of "shit your hate or you will die" I've read...

[Doktor Howl]

Ranting for me is a creative act. It's reinforcing the distinction between me and the ingorant fuckheads that comprise the majority of the human race. And they are ignorant fuckheads, oh yes. And I refuse to not feel like they deserve my scorn. And I will make you laugh when I pour said scorn upon them. That's the creative part. Fuck turning the other cheek. Fuck pretending that stupidity and ignorance is somehow acceptable if the majority is practicing it. Fuck live and let live.  

This.

For the love of God, this.

[The Johnny]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=24047.msg823476#msg823476

And rage is bad for you.  In hindsight, needing rage to act is a sign of laziness, and you typically miss your intended target...

I know im taking this quote out of context, and regardless of how it may seem, it is not a jab.

I keep it in my bottom quotes always because -not only making Roger more "charismatic" so to speak- it is a posture i deeply agree with.

See, i think "hating" something is fine, but i dont think "raging" is, for raging muddles ones own thought process, you lose yourself in the moment - and taking a step back and nit-picking what/how/why something angers you gives you much useful insight.

Also, screeching about something that annoys you to your friends, is the equivalent of screeching at your friends.

[Doktor Howl]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=24047.msg823476#msg823476

And rage is bad for you.  In hindsight, needing rage to act is a sign of laziness, and you typically miss your intended target...

I know im taking this quote out of context, and regardless of how it may seem, it is not a jab.

I keep it in my bottom quotes always because -not only making Roger more "charismatic" so to speak- it is a posture i deeply agree with.

See, i think "hating" something is fine, but i dont think "raging" is, for raging muddles ones own thought process, you lose yourself in the moment - and taking a step back and nit-picking what/how/why something angers you gives you much useful insight.

Also, screeching about something that annoys you to your friends, is the equivalent of screechingat your friends.

I was all fucked up on bad head chemistry when I wrote that drivel.

Rage keeps me warm on cold desert nights.

[Jasper]

You know what I think it is, largely?

I don't think the anger itself is the only thing worth mentioning.  Maybe it's just as important to notice that Cram's friend also seems to be completely unable to read his audience while ranting.  Taking an audience for granted is no good.  Maybe that's more fixable than chronic meaningless rage.