Rhode Island: obviously racist because of old colonial history.

[0]

Here's the train that nobody voted on:

[Suu]

Oh goddamnit.

[0]

See what happens when all you do is bitch and not do anything about it?\

Trainwreck.

[Jenne]

See what happens when all you do is bitch and not do anything about it?\

Trainwreck.

Watch out, Sir Digby--them words is activism round these parts...no one likes you advocating voting or any dirty business...beware, BEWARE!

[0]

You're right.

Back to doing what we do best:

[Suu]

BUNNAY!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

[Suu]

Bump.

But really just for this gem:

Addendum:

This isn't pointing the finger at anyone on this board, as I consider you all intellectual equals. But I've decided to summarize how I think American history must be actually taught right now:


In the beginning, there was Columbus, he was the only one who found America. Ever.
Spanish guys come over, kill Montezuma, and that's why you get diarrhea when you visit Mexico.
Pilgrims are really nice guys and they eat turkey with Indians.
The British are bad, and tax tea, so Paul Revere rides and tells people to fight.
The Revolutionary War The War Against England
George Washington is the first president.
We fight another war against England, but we'll skip that, and talk about the French giving us the Statue of Liberty
Something boring happens...oh right, the Industrial Revolution
Lincoln is elected President, slavery is bad.
The Civil War The War Against Slavery
Something something about carpetbaggers, scalawags, and the railroad. John Wayne movies take place here.
People in Europe are fighting, let's ignore them for a while.
World War I The War for the United States to look Super Cool in the End
Flappers tape their boobs down!
Prohibition happens, but people still make their own alcohol. It's cool to drink, even when you're not allowed.
The gaudy flappers spend all the money, country is broke, everyone is depressed.
Hitler is evil.
Mussolini is evil.
Japan is VERY evil.
World War II The War Against Nazis
Russia is communist! OSHI-
Communism is bad!
Korea is splitting up because of Communism! Let's stop it!
The Korean War The First War Against Communism
Oh fuck shit damn, Communism!
Did I mention Communism was bad? Don't let the Russians do anything! OH FUCK!
Communism in Vietnam?! FUCK!
The Vietnam War (Don't call it a war! We didn't win!) The Second War Against Communism

--Fill in the blanks with "We didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel"--

Iraq, Iran, Syria, Lybia...shit, if you are an Islamic country, we hate you! Goddamn. You better not be communist! If Russia is helping you we'll bust a cap! GODDAMN!
Wut? Communism over? Booo hisss....need...new...target...
Oh there goes those fucking Islamic countries again, damn!
The Persian Gulf War George Bush Sr. and the not-so-Last Crusade
OJ Simpson's glove didn't fit.
Bill Clinton got a blowjob.
OH SHIT FUCK DAMN TERRORISTS HIT THE TWIN TOWERS OH WTF WE ARE INVINCIBLE!
The War on Terrorism
While we're over there...
The Iraq War George Bush Jr. And the Last Crusade
STOP EVERYTHING: BLACK PRESIDENT ELECTED

History over.

Now class, that's all you need to know for now, here are the answers to the standardized test you need to take so you can pass and I can get a raise. Please study these instead of anything else you'll need to know. Thanks.

Suu
-Putting that in her "book".


Also: The state name change was voted down. We are still The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. They finished the train station at the airport, but it doesn't go any further south and only runs like 3 times a day. So, fuck it.

Also, General Stuart proves ITT how much of a douchebag he is, but I still lol'd at what he did to Honey.