A Very Tucson Christmas, part 1 of 5

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Wipe with a moist towelette or ten and kissing of the arse shall commence. But if you shit on my face, that will cost extra.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Wipe with a moist towelette or ten and kissing of the arse shall commence. But if you shit on my face, that will cost extra.

Look, just fuck off and trash someone else's stuff for a while, okay?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I wasn't attempting to trash your shit. I liked what you wrote. I was trying to participate in a meaningful fashion and it misfired. The intention was more to ponder about how letters written to Baba Yaga would even get to her since her house is always running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I'd apologize but I'm pretty sure there's no point in that.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'd apologize but I'm pretty sure there's no point in that.

Annnnd insult added to injury.

Thread is fucking dead.  Your mission is accomplished.  There are other threads out there, so please move on.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

GAH! Fucking hell, man.

[Whatever]

I loved the OP.  And I am now serioously debating if I truly love my shildren enough to hide them or if I should just get an airtight alibi!!! 

Reverend!! 

[Richter]

Reminds me a bit of Krampus, the troll who follows santa and drags naughty kids to hell.  Or eats them.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Reminds me a bit of Krampus, the troll who follows santa and drags naughty kids to hell.  Or eats them.

I think Sheriff Joe hired him.  I hope so, for his sake, as Baba Yaga isn't keen on competition.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I loved the OP.  And I am now serioously debating if I truly love my shildren enough to hide them or if I should just get an airtight alibi!!!  

Reverend!!  

"A 1000 year old cannibal Russian witch did it."

[Richter]

Reminds me a bit of Krampus, the troll who follows santa and drags naughty kids to hell.  Or eats them.

I think Sheriff Joe hired him.  I hope so, for his sake, as Baba Yaga isn't keen on competition.

I'm shocked he took the job. 
Last I knew he was bouncing around fetish clubs between Siberia and Iceland as the mood took him.  Drinking like a fiend, pounding tabs of E, and crashing out in youth hostels (C'mon did ANYONE think that hairy, snoring bastard was human.) 

Out in Tucson, someone's going to eventually slip up and ask if he's Pan. 
I can't be clear enough.  DON'T.  Last time I saw a gothwhale get them confused, he turned her inside out for a laugh.  Pan's his counsin, and they don't get along.  You'd think they'd be all about the same things, but like all jade perverts they have weird sensibilities.  He considers his cos a "lacadasical, pastoral hippie who can't hold down REAL drink or stomach a place with a sound system, NO desire or capability to take things to the wall". 

[Whatever]

I loved the OP.  And I am now serioously debating if I truly love my shildren enough to hide them or if I should just get an airtight alibi!!!  

Reverend!!  

"A 1000 year old cannibal Russian witch did it."

It's plausable don't you think? 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I loved the OP.  And I am now serioously debating if I truly love my shildren enough to hide them or if I should just get an airtight alibi!!!  

Reverend!!  

"A 1000 year old cannibal Russian witch did it."

It's plausable don't you think? 

Which part, that a Russian is 1000 years old or a cannibal?
The second part I believe wholeheartedly. The first part, well, some Russians do look like they're 1000 years old when they're actually only 55.

[The Wizard]

Quick question: Are Baba Yaga's standards the same as Santa's were? What exactly qualifies as naughty or nice under her administration?

Dr. James Semaj
Hoping to set up a meeting on amiable terms.

[Richter]

This is Baba Yaga we're talking about here.  Old world Russian standards. 

[A Villager]

Quick question: Are Baba Yaga's standards the same as Santa's were? What exactly qualifies as naughty or nice under her administration?

Dr. James Semaj
Hoping to set up a meeting on amiable terms.

Hard to tell. If you try to google "naughty russian" and "nice russuan" you get a lot of overlap...