News:

Hand drawn by monkeys in sweat-shop conditions.

Main Menu

More Fun Than You Really Wanted, part II of V

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 18, 2011, 05:50:23 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

The Good Reverend Roger

January 18, 2011, 05:50:23 PM
Gary is a moderately successful businessman.  When I say "moderately", I mean that he lives in a 2400 square foot house, keeps a Hummer3 and a Lincoln Navigator in the driveway, and kept all that through the downturn (People like Gary use the word "downturn"...To many people it's "When I lost everything".).

He's a Calvinist who is well-respected within his community (meaning he puts a hundred in the plate a church every week, and gives just enough to all the right charities.).  He's a true believer in Calvinism, mostly because it tells him that his riches are proof that God loves him, and those less well off than him are in that situation because they aren't "the elect", as he is, and thus God doesn't care about them.  It makes him feel good about himself, and more comfortable about the wealth he has amassed.

Gary's a busy man, too.  He's always on the deal, always ready to jet out to China or India to make sure that things flow in a manner that directs more money into his accounts.  He is in fact so busy that he hasn't noticed that his youngest boy is developing some rather expensive and debilitating habits.  His oldest kid's excesses finally reached the point where they couldn't be swept under the rug anymore, so he had the kid shipped off to military school, where the kid's problems wouldn't interfere with his conference calls.

He's so busy that he answers his cellphone on the rare occasions that he takes his wife out to dinner.  At parties, he talks about deals...While his wife smiles that painful, embarrassed smile that says "I wish I could say he isn't always like this".  He hasn't got a clue that she hates him like poison, and wouldn't have any idea why she does, if he DID know it.

Gary's an easy guy to hate.  Too easy to hate, in fact, because the simple fact of the matter is that Gary hasn't got anything.  He's a human doing, instead of a human being.  All his toys and his money and his deals will not remember him after his death - or retirement, which is basically the same thing for someone like him - the way a proper man's family will remember him when he dies.

Gary is a cipher.  He's a human-shaped hole in the world.  He's a bank account where a soul belongs, with "assets" for employees and strangers for family.  He can never, ever stop running.

And he is the sum product of 65 years of American culture.

Chew on that a while.

Or Kill Me.

 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios

#1
January 18, 2011, 05:54:54 PM
I've seen his fake smile while his eyes are always skipping around, never focused on one thing.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
January 18, 2011, 05:56:02 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 18, 2011, 05:54:54 PM
I've seen his fake smile while his eyes are always skipping around, never focused on one thing.

That's because he lives in a world where everything and everyone is out to feed on the complacent.

And he can never, ever stop running.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#3
January 18, 2011, 05:56:57 PM
Two in one day, Roger?  Are you mad at us, or something?

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 18, 2011, 06:03:40 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on January 18, 2011, 05:56:57 PM
Two in one day, Roger?  Are you mad at us, or something?

It was there to spew, so I done puked it up.

I'm feeling a little more misanthropic than usual.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

hooplala

#5
January 18, 2011, 06:16:15 PM
I'm not sure we can even blame this one on American culture.

We have lots of Garys in Canada, I'm sure there are plenty in the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Australia, etc...

It's something else.
"Soon all of us will have special names" — Professor Brian O'Blivion

"Now's not the time to get silly, so wear your big boots and jump on the garbage clowns." — Bob Dylan?

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" — Walt Whitman

Whatever

#6
January 18, 2011, 06:17:19 PM
I know Gary, I want to key his hummer and bitch slap him upside the head.  :evilmad:

On a roll Roger, good stuff.  :mittens:


My head hurts from thinking so you can stop for the day!!! :lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
January 18, 2011, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 18, 2011, 06:16:15 PM
I'm not sure we can even blame this one on American culture.

We have lots of Garys in Canada, I'm sure there are plenty in the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Australia, etc...

It's something else.

Culturally speaking, Canada is America 5 years later (for the most part, at least).  With the exception of hairdos, of course, which haven't changed since Anne Murray was top 40.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios

#8
January 18, 2011, 07:31:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 18, 2011, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 18, 2011, 06:16:15 PM
I'm not sure we can even blame this one on American culture.

We have lots of Garys in Canada, I'm sure there are plenty in the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Australia, etc...

It's something else.

Culturally speaking, Canada is America 5 years later (for the most part, at least).  With the exception of hairdos, of course, which haven't changed since Anne Murray was top 40.

:lulz:

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
January 18, 2011, 07:32:47 PM
Quote from: Niamh on January 18, 2011, 06:17:19 PM
I know Gary, I want to key his hummer and bitch slap him upside the head.  :evilmad:

On a roll Roger, good stuff.  :mittens:


My head hurts from thinking so you can stop for the day!!! :lulz:

What's that?  You want MORE Slack™?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Whatever

#10
January 18, 2011, 07:37:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 18, 2011, 07:32:47 PM
Quote from: Niamh on January 18, 2011, 06:17:19 PM
I know Gary, I want to key his hummer and bitch slap him upside the head.  :evilmad:

On a roll Roger, good stuff.  :mittens:


My head hurts from thinking so you can stop for the day!!! :lulz:

What's that?  You want MORE Slack™?

Just a little....  :wink:

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
January 18, 2011, 07:41:45 PM
Quote from: Niamh on January 18, 2011, 07:37:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 18, 2011, 07:32:47 PM
Quote from: Niamh on January 18, 2011, 06:17:19 PM
I know Gary, I want to key his hummer and bitch slap him upside the head.  :evilmad:

On a roll Roger, good stuff.  :mittens:


My head hurts from thinking so you can stop for the day!!! :lulz:

What's that?  You want MORE Slack™?

Just a little....  :wink:

Well, I have a meeting to attend in 20 minutes, so it will actually have to wait for tomorrow.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
January 18, 2011, 07:44:31 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 18, 2011, 07:31:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 18, 2011, 07:29:49 PM
Quote from: Hoopla on January 18, 2011, 06:16:15 PM
I'm not sure we can even blame this one on American culture.

We have lots of Garys in Canada, I'm sure there are plenty in the UK, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Poland, Switzerland, Australia, etc...

It's something else.

Culturally speaking, Canada is America 5 years later (for the most part, at least).  With the exception of hairdos, of course, which haven't changed since Anne Murray was top 40.

:lulz:

America is sort of like the World's Kim Kardashian.  Hot looking, sexy, high-maintenance, utterly hollow on the inside, and carrying viruses that not only never go away, but keep you coming back for more.

To further the analogy, America only believes in it's own superiority.  It's the only "value" we have, and we sell it well.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Adios

#13
January 18, 2011, 07:48:24 PM
It was the hair comment that got me.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
January 18, 2011, 07:49:55 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on January 18, 2011, 07:48:24 PM
It was the hair comment that got me.

Well, yes.  All men below the age of 30 are required by law to wear Andy Gibb's hairdo, and all women are required to have their hair straightened and bobbed until they retire, at which point they MUST wear curlers every night, or they lose their healthcare.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions