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If I was God

Started by Thurnez Isa, July 03, 2009, 01:54:50 AM

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The Wizard

#15
July 06, 2009, 10:00:00 PM
QuoteNah, Cthulhu is too big for mere human morality. Truth is, he's just a lonely High Priest from an Alien world, the poor guy....

My point exactly.


QuoteAlso, the basic design of the human body would make sense.  None of this bilateral symmetry shit.  Ask me why.  Go ahead.  Ask.

Okay. Why?
Insanity we trust.

The Good Reverend Roger

#16
July 06, 2009, 10:07:26 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 10:00:00 PM
Okay. Why?

Because this "intelligent design" is BULLSHIT.  

It's a little-known fact that all pre and early-human skeletons are found with leopard marks in the back of their heads.  Why?  Because our bodies are designed to do NOTHING right.  We can't run, we can't fight, we can't even HIDE or at least SEE PREDATORS COMING.

Let's review:

1.  Brain.  There is NO REASON to have the brain up in the head.  The head should only be a sensor suite.  The brain should be in the torso, which would be armored.  Gets rid of that ridiculous spinal cord.

2.  Heart.  Two of them.  One can go where the appendix is now.  The appendix can go.  Or, if it MUST stay, when it goes boom, it should REALLY go *BOOM*.  Sort of like a random suicide bomber, only different.

3.  Arms.  We are a tool using species.  We need two big beefy ass arms for holding stuff, and one skinny one with about 3 elbows and 6 joints on each finger for manipulating the things we're holding.  Or just an arm with a bunch of tentacles on the end.  Speaking of tentacles...

4.  Tail.  Why was this gotten rid of?  Replace it.  Or, better yet, put a BIG FUCKING TENTACLE just above the ass.  With a robot-like gripper arm on the end.  The porn possibilities alone justify it.

5.  Eyes.  Four of 'em.  Two in front, for hunting, and two on the sides like a bird, to see the leopards coming.

Anyway, that's what I'd do.  For starters.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#17
July 06, 2009, 10:11:49 PM
That's pretty good, except maybe for the tail...I figure theres a reason for our physical shape. But this also goes under points why God may not be benevolent or interested in us.
Insanity we trust.

Template

#18
July 06, 2009, 10:22:05 PM
He didn't want to start us off with more than our perversity can handle.  An upgrade is overdue, though.

The Good Reverend Roger

#19
July 06, 2009, 10:23:03 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 10:11:49 PM
That's pretty good, except maybe for the tail...I figure theres a reason for our physical shape.

1.  Tails are very useful.  Especially with a big ass robot gripper arm.

2.  Yes, there's a reason:  A malevolent - or just lazy - deity.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#20
July 06, 2009, 10:24:38 PM
Quote from: yhnmzw on July 06, 2009, 10:22:05 PM
He didn't want to start us off with more than our perversity can handle.  An upgrade is overdue, though.

You think humans just discovered perversity YESTERDAY, or something?  HAH!  You fucking kids don't know how to rock n roll...and my generation, which does definitely know how to rock and roll, was NOTHING on the roaring 20s.  They had some stone deviants, back then.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#21
July 06, 2009, 10:25:29 PM
Quote2.  Yes, there's a reason:  A malevolent - or just lazy - deity.

I'm not sure that those words apply. God's just too big and too alien to apply human traits like malevolence and laziness to. I would say the closest you could get would be indifferent.
Insanity we trust.

Roaring Biscuit!

#22
July 06, 2009, 10:31:23 PM
i had a theory about god's reaction time, that I thought up while learnin' about the nervous system.

In most animals, nerve transmission is *about* 60mph.  Now, we can assume that God probably has a slightly more sophisticated system of co-ordinations, but even then nothing, not even god's nervous system can be faster than the speed of light.  And as God is omnipresent, that means he is at least the size of the universe, any prayers he may or may not be hearing are gonna take a FUCKING LONG TIME to get answered.  Pray for the future.

The Good Reverend Roger

#23
July 06, 2009, 10:33:06 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 10:25:29 PM
Quote2.  Yes, there's a reason:  A malevolent - or just lazy - deity.

I'm not sure that those words apply. God's just too big and too alien to apply human traits like malevolence and laziness to. I would say the closest you could get would be indifferent.

Bosh.  That's monkey-talk.  Odds are, the Greeks were right, and the Gods are just bigger, vainer, pettier versions of ourselves.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#24
July 06, 2009, 10:34:06 PM
Quote from: Roaring Biscuit! on July 06, 2009, 10:31:23 PM
i had a theory about god's reaction time, that I thought up while learnin' about the nervous system.

In most animals, nerve transmission is *about* 60mph.  Now, we can assume that God probably has a slightly more sophisticated system of co-ordinations, but even then nothing, not even god's nervous system can be faster than the speed of light.  And as God is omnipresent, that means he is at least the size of the universe, any prayers he may or may not be hearing are gonna take a FUCKING LONG TIME to get answered.  Pray for the future.

It's entirely possible that you're right, and that is the only thing saving us from him.

Don't pray at all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#25
July 06, 2009, 10:45:43 PM
QuoteBosh.  That's monkey-talk.  Odds are, the Greeks were right, and the Gods are just bigger, vainer, pettier versions of ourselves.

I don't think so. It would take a humongous and alien mind to run an entire universe. If it was as vain and petty as the Dodekatheon then the whole thing would have imploded long before humanity showed up.
Insanity we trust.

fomenter

#26
July 06, 2009, 10:54:52 PM
humans are to god as face paint and big shoes are to clowns
"So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!"


hmroogp

The Wizard

#27
July 06, 2009, 10:55:37 PM
Hmm. Fits.
Insanity we trust.

The Good Reverend Roger

#28
July 06, 2009, 11:01:47 PM
Quote from: Dr. James Semaj on July 06, 2009, 10:45:43 PM
QuoteBosh.  That's monkey-talk.  Odds are, the Greeks were right, and the Gods are just bigger, vainer, pettier versions of ourselves.

I don't think so. It would take a humongous and alien mind to run an entire universe. If it was as vain and petty as the Dodekatheon then the whole thing would have imploded long before humanity showed up.

Who says God runs it?  You're the closest thing to God your dog knows, and you didn't build your house.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Wizard

#29
July 06, 2009, 11:03:41 PM
Admittedly, I don't have any evidence to say that god does run things. But also, there really isn't anything to say he doesn't either.
Insanity we trust.
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