The Activia Challenge!

[Suu]

Hi I'm George Zimmer president of Men's Warehouse.

So you all know, the combination of antioxidants, roughage, and spicy in my diet finally dislodged the horrible collection of polyps I had growing up my guts.

I felt a sudden horrible urge, and got form my cube into the bathroom as fast as I could.  The normal stools passed with the smooth efficiency of a well maintained Colt 1911, my shincter efffortlessly cycling and expelling like a chromed reciever polished to a mirror shine.

Bam
Bam
Bam

There was a brief pause, as if my innards wer uncertain, then with a potent heavy the first squirely arm of teh cancerous mass exited my butt.  It popped out bit by bit, the collection of malignant bulges strug together like a bunch of grapes.  They swung, momentarily suspended from my pulsating red asshole, swinging into the back of my testicles like an unexpected second sac full of burst cells and mutation, until the last, almost releieved relaxation let it fall to the bowl bellow. 

A brief pause and cramp hit me, and I passed about a half cup of blood.

All said and done, I cleaned myself and left feeling like a new man.  The unflushable attrocity behind me a testament to my will to cling to life.  I intend to tell all the cancer survivors about this, my own personal battle and triumph.

I guarantee it.

Fixed.

[Richter]

This is the correct troll.

[Freeky]

I love pickles though, so you better not be gherkin my chain.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love pickles though, so you better not be gherkin my chain.



....aaaanyways.....

I think that if I vacuum pack them, they should be easy enough to ship.

[East Coast Hustle]

So you all know, the combination of antioxidants, roughage, and spicy in my diet finally dislodged the horrible collection of polyps I had growing up my guts.

I felt a sudden horrible urge, and got form my cube into the bathroom as fast as I could.  The normal stools passed with the smooth efficiency of a well maintained Colt 1911, my shincter efffortlessly cycling and expelling like a chromed reciever polished to a mirror shine.

Bam
Bam
Bam

There was a brief pause, as if my innards wer uncertain, then with a potent heavy the first squirely arm of teh cancerous mass exited my butt.  It popped out bit by bit, the collection of malignant bulges strug together like a bunch of grapes.  They swung, momentarily suspended from my pulsating red asshole, swinging into the back of my testicles like an unexpected second sac full of burst cells and mutation, until the last, almost releieved relaxation let it fall to the bowl bellow. 

A brief pause and cramp hit me, and I passed about a half cup of blood.

All said and done, I cleaned myself and left feeling like a new man.  The unflushable attrocity behind me a testament to my will to cling to life.  I intend to tell all the cancer survivors about this, my own personal battle and triumph.

nobody else need ever relate anything related to their own personal fecal habits unless it can top this.

[Suu]

Well, that was nice while it lasted I guess.

-Suu
Seriously wouldn't be surprised if she had ulcerative colitis or Crohn's.

[Freeky]

It doesn't help anymore?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

You know what I do when shit doesn't work right?
I yell at it. Sometimes punch it.
Computer on the fritz? Scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" then PUNCH it! 9 times outta 10, it just sorta fixes itself out of fear. Fear of what I'll do to it. Cause I won't just break it and put it out of it's misery slowly, no. I'll drag it out painfully.

Try that with your... butt? guts? whatever's broken.
Make it fear you.

[Suu]

It doesn't help anymore?

It seemed to have turned my problems around TOO much. So instead of constantly having to go to the bathroom, now I'm constipated and bloated to hell. 

I fucking HATE IBS.

[Freeky]

It doesn't help anymore?

It seemed to have turned my problems around TOO much. So instead of constantly having to go to the bathroom, now I'm constipated and bloated to hell. 

I fucking HATE IBS.

[LMNO]

You know what I do when shit doesn't work right?
I yell at it. Sometimes punch it.
Computer on the fritz? Scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" then PUNCH it! 9 times outta 10, it just sorta fixes itself out of fear. Fear of what I'll do to it. Cause I won't just break it and put it out of it's misery slowly, no. I'll drag it out painfully.

Try that with your... butt? guts? whatever's broken.
Make it fear you.

Great.  Now I have visions of Suu fisting herself.


I won't be able to stand up with out knocking things over for the next hour or two.

[Jenne]

It doesn't help anymore?

It seemed to have turned my problems around TOO much. So instead of constantly having to go to the bathroom, now I'm constipated and bloated to hell. 

I fucking HATE IBS.

Yeah, none of the stuff that's supposed to help IBS really does for me.  Costco sells the PILLZ for it (or used to), have you tried them yet?

[Jenne]

You know what I do when shit doesn't work right?
I yell at it. Sometimes punch it.
Computer on the fritz? Scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" then PUNCH it! 9 times outta 10, it just sorta fixes itself out of fear. Fear of what I'll do to it. Cause I won't just break it and put it out of it's misery slowly, no. I'll drag it out painfully.

Try that with your... butt? guts? whatever's broken.
Make it fear you.

Great.  Now I have visions of Suu fisting herself.


I won't be able to stand up with out knocking things over for the next hour or two.

Both of these quotes are win, just saying.

[E.O.T.]

 

[Suu]

It doesn't help anymore?

It seemed to have turned my problems around TOO much. So instead of constantly having to go to the bathroom, now I'm constipated and bloated to hell. 

I fucking HATE IBS.

Yeah, none of the stuff that's supposed to help IBS really does for me.  Costco sells the PILLZ for it (or used to), have you tried them yet?

Which pillz?

Wholefoods sells digestive enzymes which seem to help me. I just, ya know, can't afford them.