Red Cross/similar organizations in the street

[NWC]

You know those people who ask for donations in the street for Red Cross, Oxfam, or other things like that? Well, I respect them, kindof. Enough to not walk by without brushing them off. I always stop(unless I'm in a real hurry, and then I apologize), and at least hear them out before telling them I have no money to give. They're out there doing something they believe in (I guess) in the hot sun, and I like strangers, so I'll always have the decency to stop.

But today I finally gave in, I agreed to give 5 euros from my bank account, because it shows that they have support and helps them with subsidies and whatnot. Anyway I finally caved. I can't afford to do that!

I think it's worth brainstorming on funny/interesting things to say to them. Like that, you don't just brush them off, and you make the encounter a nice experience for both of you.

Today, the Red Cross girl started towards me from 5 meters, and right when she got next to me I jumped back and said "Ah! I don't like needles!" as if she were about to stab me with one. I continued to make jokes throughout the conversation, which made the whole thing very fun. Yeah I gave 5 euros I can barely afford to give, but it was worth the nice encounter with a stranger. Things like:

her: and we try to get child soldiers out of armies, which as you can imagine isn't easy
me: yeah I know! I tried once, I got three kids but then I had to run away, they kept shooting at me


SO. Ideas for ways to make these street encounters fun? I guess there'd be some approaches that work specifically for certain types of organisations(like the needle thing), and some that work for all sorts. I know a bunch of things to do for telemarketers(sooo much fun), which is similar but still a very different approach. People on the street are often there because they really support the cause, and the face-to-face  interaction provides new limitations and opportunities.

I'll start:

-ask them how they are, pretending they're a long lost friend, and that's they reason why they walked up to you
-ask questions as if you thought they were a sort of cult(are there any initiation rites? do I have to pledge my allegiance to the Kool-Aid Man?)
-just start telling an unrelated story(this could be a little rude, depending on where you go with it).

your turn!

Edit: maybe this goes in OM? I never really think about where I post things..

[bugmenоt]

You could ask them if you can join their team and ask them how much they earn. I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me! Often there are quite attractive provision systems. Almost nothing of those 5 Dollars go to the child soldiers etc.
You can say that the Red Cross is selling good conscience on the streets. So ask them about the quality of their good conscience, and if it beats the good conscience of World Vision etc...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You could ask them if you can join their team and ask them how much they earn. I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me! Often there are quite attractive provision systems. Almost nothing of those 5 Dollars go to the child soldiers etc.
You can say that the Red Cross is selling good conscience on the streets. So ask them about the quality of their good conscience, and if it beats the good conscience of World Vision etc...

Have you considered eating lye lately?

[Doktor Howl]

her: and we try to get child soldiers out of armies, which as you can imagine isn't easy

Didn't they used to knit socks for armies?  I mean, shouldn't they be concentrating on getting these child soldiers the things they need, for victory? 

[Doktor Howl]

I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me!

Wow.  Bit of a parasite, aren't you?

[NWC]

You could ask them if you can join their team and ask them how much they earn. I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me! Often there are quite attractive provision systems. Almost nothing of those 5 Dollars go to the child soldiers etc.
You can say that the Red Cross is selling good conscience on the streets. So ask them about the quality of their good conscience, and if it beats the good conscience of World Vision etc...

You missed the point. I'm aware that not all of the money goes to whatever they say it goes it. I knew that when I agreed.

But I had a great conversation! That in itself was worth the 5 euros.

This is not a thread about how to make them feel bad about themselves or to make them go away. If I wanted to do that, I would just tell them I don't speak French. This is about making people laugh/smile/MAKING PEOPLES' DAYS MORE INTERESTING. Not depressing. I don't need depressing. I don't want to be abrasive.

[NWC]

her: and we try to get child soldiers out of armies, which as you can imagine isn't easy

Didn't they used to knit socks for armies?  I mean, shouldn't they be concentrating on getting these child soldiers the things they need, for victory? 

Reminds me of a sketch I saw once, a fake commercial, don't remember where it was from. Went something like:

-there are thousands of children fighting wars in Africa, with no other means of supporting themselves. for just 62 cents a day, you can make sure that these children get the supplies they need, like body armor and new weapons, to ensure their safety

[Doktor Howl]

You could ask them if you can join their team and ask them how much they earn. I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me! Often there are quite attractive provision systems. Almost nothing of those 5 Dollars go to the child soldiers etc.
You can say that the Red Cross is selling good conscience on the streets. So ask them about the quality of their good conscience, and if it beats the good conscience of World Vision etc...

You missed the point. I'm aware that not all of the money goes to whatever they say it goes it. I knew that when I agreed.

But I had a great conversation! That in itself was worth the 5 euros.

This is not a thread about how to make them feel bad about themselves or to make them go away. If I wanted to do that, I would just tell them I don't speak French. This is about making people laugh/smile/MAKING PEOPLES' DAYS MORE INTERESTING. Not depressing. I don't need depressing. I don't want to be abrasive.

You have to remember that Weltburger is driven to be antisocial.  He has a very limited set of responses to anything, and they all have to do with making sure nobody likes him.

There's probably a name for that (making sure everyone hates you, presumably out of a total lack of self-esteem), but I'm too lazy to google it.  Nigel might know, she's a veritable font of information on screwed up headcases, and she has helped me out on many occasions, in describing the horrible shitnecks I work with.

[Doktor Howl]

her: and we try to get child soldiers out of armies, which as you can imagine isn't easy

Didn't they used to knit socks for armies?  I mean, shouldn't they be concentrating on getting these child soldiers the things they need, for victory? 

Reminds me of a sketch I saw once, a fake commercial, don't remember where it was from. Went something like:

-there are thousands of children fighting wars in Africa, with no other means of supporting themselves. for just 62 cents a day, you can make sure that these children get the supplies they need, like body armor and new weapons, to ensure their safety

That sounds like something Stang would write.

[Cain]

A full 80% of the Red Cross's income goes directly on charity spending.  Only 20% is kept for administrative purposes. 

[Doktor Howl]

A full 80% of the Red Cross's income goes directly on charity spending.  Only 20% is kept for administrative purposes. 

Weltburger was probably just keeping the money that people gave him.  I wouldn't put it past him.

[NWC]

You could ask them if you can join their team and ask them how much they earn. I once worked for the Red Cross and I've earned circa 70% of the money the people gave me! Often there are quite attractive provision systems. Almost nothing of those 5 Dollars go to the child soldiers etc.
You can say that the Red Cross is selling good conscience on the streets. So ask them about the quality of their good conscience, and if it beats the good conscience of World Vision etc...

Also, at least this person has a job! It's pretty hard to get a job these days, I'm more likely to ask them where to apply than to shit on them for taking a job like this. It doesn't look like a fun or easy job, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the organisation does more good for the world than Walmart.

If I want to feel good about myself, I would have to make them smile, not get defensive and/or bothered. For me, this is a type of OM thing: you make people smile/laugh, think differently for a second, you don't just try to be an asshole.

[Cain]

A full 80% of the Red Cross's income goes directly on charity spending.  Only 20% is kept for administrative purposes. 

Weltburger was probably just keeping the money that people gave him.  I wouldn't put it past him.

That was my thinking as well.  The Red Cross are highly scrupulous about this, to the point they even refused to build a museum about their work through history until someone did special fundraising for it, because they didn't want to direct money away from their primary purpose as an organisation.

[Doktor Howl]

A full 80% of the Red Cross's income goes directly on charity spending.  Only 20% is kept for administrative purposes. 

Weltburger was probably just keeping the money that people gave him.  I wouldn't put it past him.

That was my thinking as well.  The Red Cross are highly scrupulous about this, to the point they even refused to build a museum about their work through history until someone did special fundraising for it, because they didn't want to direct money away from their primary purpose as an organisation.

Also, it's just the shitty sort of thing Weltburger would do.

[NWC]

So - ideas?

I like my needle idea and old friend idea, but I want more.