Serious talk about your ass.

[Kai]

I enjoy defecation in any restroom. More so not at home, because if it is messy, then I don't have to clean it up. Thus the pleasure of public restrooms.

Not that I am messy. I am a dainty being.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

I will poomp whenever and wherever there is a toilet I can use when I need to go. I will only hold it in if there is no loo roll. Last night at D&D I ate an entire sharing sized bag of carrot sticks with hummus. Near the end, I felt the Urge, alas I had to wait OVER AN HOUR to get to the bus stop, get the bus, get home... the sweet relief of poomping Pure Fibre was a Thing Of Beauty.

I used to have serious problems with my digestion and bowels. I hate the feeling of holding it in, or the fear of sharting.

[navkat]

Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.

They mentioned NOTHING about my ass.  I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.

The irony being you'll start shitting yourself on the interstate the next time you spot a tanker hauling something nasty at 80 mph.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Had an all day Hazmat/HAZWOPER class.

They mentioned NOTHING about my ass.  I feel ripped off, insufficiently trained.

The irony being you'll start shitting yourself on the interstate the next time you spot a tanker hauling something nasty at 80 mph.

Naw.  I've been doing this shit for a while now.

[CarvedWood]

I also won't poop in public.  I can barely pee in public restrooms, but I've finally lost my shyness about tinkling.  Public pooping is still out of the question.  Besides, I only do it twice a day, might as well enjoy it in the comfort of my own private bathroom.

Also?  I will not vomit in public restrooms.  I would rather vomit in public than in a public restroom.  I refuse, utterly and completely, to put my face somewhere other people put their asses.  No.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I also won't poop in public.  I can barely pee in public restrooms, but I've finally lost my shyness about tinkling.  Public pooping is still out of the question.  Besides, I only do it twice a day, might as well enjoy it in the comfort of my own private bathroom.

Having seen the horror of public restrooms, such as shit-smeared seats, bloody pads stuck on walls, piss and/or vomit  everywhere and people filling the toilet with those brown paper towels and shitting on top of them SO THAT THE SHIT IS STICKING UP OVER THE SEAT, are you sure that you owe the public any courtesies? 

Also?  I will not vomit in public restrooms.  I would rather vomit in public than in a public restroom.  I refuse, utterly and completely, to put my face somewhere other people put their asses.  No.

That one makes sense.

[CarvedWood]

Nope, nothing to do with public courtesy.  The public can go to hell.  I just happen to agree with the OP, that poop time is me time.

Speaking of the atrocities people commit in public restrooms...

I kinda understand shit smeared seats.  Some people can't control their wiping action, and since they wipe front to back, the shit gets smeared.  Which makes me wonder about the hygiene of their asscracks, but then I shudder and try to forget that I had that thought.  Anyway.  I heard a comedian once ranting about people who wipe back to front, something about not dragging the dirty into the clean.  And I don't get that.  Do other people's mothers not teach them about wipe control?  Wiping what's dirty, and not smearing it around?  What the hell is so hard about not smearing your shit everywhere!?  And you know what?  I bet a lot of the shit-smearers are also people who protest that they never came from no monkey!  And they might be right, too, because monkeys at least have the courtesy to THROW the shit instead of smearing it up their asscracks and around the toilet seat!!!!!!!

I also understand the piss on the toilet seat.  It's those fucking hoverers!  You know, the people who refuse to sit on the toilet because other people piss on it, so they just hover over the toilet, guaranteeing that they're pissing on it instead of in it!  OMFG, just put some toilet paper down on the seat and SIT!

And those people who leave the shit mountains?  I figure they live alone (and no wonder).  People who live with other people have an outlet for their shit-pride, they have someone they can call into the bathroom before they flush to admire the magnificence of their shit.  These other people have no one.  I feel sorry for them.

It's those pads on the walls!  OMFG, seriously!?  What the hell is wrong with these people?!  There's no understanding that!

No, nope, nuh-uh.  I'm responsible for the cleanliness of my own toilet, therefore I know it can be trusted.  I know how to wipe, I know how to sit, I don't have any particular issues involving the grandeur of my shit, and I know how to roll, wrap, and toss.  So, as I said, the public can all go to hell.

[navkat]

It seems like every ship or barracks in the Navy has a "Ghost shitter." At one point, I thought this was a phenomena limited to good ol' BEQ 533 but I soon learned I was mistaken.

Basically, someone, usually on the male decks, finds a way to deposit his "leavings" in common areas on the floor...much to the chagrin of that day's duty section leader and whoever was assigned to clean that particular area at sweepers.

Shit and piss and blood don't really bother me though. Vom does.

[Cain]

Unconsidered hypothesis: the "ghost shitter" is, in fact, a ghost.  A vengeful spirit, killed while suffering from unrelieved constipation, now taking his revenge from beyond the grave.

[LMNO]

Sounds legit.

[Cain]

I demand the US government give me a semi-secret, multibillion dollar task-force to investigate this hypothesis, the threat phantom shitters may present to the US military's effectiveness and means to combat it.

[Triple Zero]

I demand the US government give me a semi-secret, multibillion dollar task-force to investigate this hypothesis, the threat phantom shitters may present to the US military's effectiveness and means to combat it.

Unconsidered hypothesis: It's part of the campaign of those soul stealing extraterrestrial biblical demons, except this is a rogue unit whose mission statement got corrupted in interdimensional transmission, and now we gotta deal with sailor stooling extraterrestrial biblical demons.

[Cain]

So long as I can refer to my unit as the "Poopdeck Elite", I will consider all alternative theories.

[EK WAFFLR]

So long as I can refer to my unit as the "Poopdeck Elite", I will consider all alternative theories.

Hahahahahaha.



As for my pooping activities; I can and will poop on any available toilet. Anytime. If it is a public restroom, I always hope it will be an especially smelly and loud poop.

[Suu]

I used to be pretty shy about pooping in public restrooms, and I still do a bit while traveling.

Then Pennsic happened. 2 weeks of portajohns (they clean them twice a day). You learn to be less squeamish pretty fucking fast.