The Last Whiskey Bar

[LMNO]

So hey guys, it turns out that Facebook Discordians are INCREDIBLY easy to fuck with. I know that Howl has known that for a long time, but I'm finally trying it and they're getting all catty on me. 

They're more fun than you know what to do with...Especially since many of them were of the fold before they were lured away by Zuckerberg and turned into heathen. 

I feel an epistle coming on.

Seriously, I love that if you reply in a literal and factual fashion to anyone about anything, they promptly start accusing you of being "too serious" It's AWESOME. 

The epistle should get some froth going.

Which group are you trolling?  the 2011 ones?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So hey guys, it turns out that Facebook Discordians are INCREDIBLY easy to fuck with. I know that Howl has known that for a long time, but I'm finally trying it and they're getting all catty on me. 

They're more fun than you know what to do with...Especially since many of them were of the fold before they were lured away by Zuckerberg and turned into heathen. 

I feel an epistle coming on.

Seriously, I love that if you reply in a literal and factual fashion to anyone about anything, they promptly start accusing you of being "too serious" It's AWESOME. 

The epistle should get some froth going.

Which group are you trolling?  the 2011 ones?

Yes, but it's not "trolling", it's a rebuke to those who have strayed...Or in fact an outright challenge to a 2-way jihad or dare I say pogrom, which are way more fun than the other kind.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Thanks rwhn. I suspect that they were the hairs that were previously reddish. Is there a secret handshake/aarp discount with this club?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Thanks rwhn. I suspect that they were the hairs that were previously reddish. Is there a secret handshake/aarp discount with this club?

Yes, and that's not ALL you get! 

Would you like to hear more?

[AFK]

Thanks rwhn. I suspect that they were the hairs that were previously reddish. Is there a secret handshake/aarp discount with this club?

No, but depending on who you ask, this is apparently a hit with (some of) the ladies.  Then again, you know, take that with a grain of salt coming from me. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

My baldness may offset it.

Ok rog- tell me more

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Fucking grain bugs - found some in my flour and a few other things maybe 5 months ago. Threw out open shit - douched the kitchen and cabinets. Sprayed down enough stuff to kill every living thing in the house. And everything was fine for a bit. One or 2 dead ones that I assumed was as a result of the spray.

Fast forward to the weekend before Christmas and they're back again - except somehow even more than before. On the counter, on the pizza stone on the microwave. behind the microwave. Tore apart the cabinets again since exterminator was coming this morning and only found them inside one almost empty container of stuffing and a SEALED bag of almonds. Into the trash went anything open and I'm going to super double check everything before I put it back later. Exterminator put down some goop made for cockroaches that apparently works on these things too and pretty much told me to clean everything and toss anything that's been sitting a while (I know they can only do so much). Of course what I hear is that, despite my best efforts is "your house is gross, this is your fault".

Four years doing the same thing, cleaning the same way, and it's just these past 6 months I've noticed anything. And the way the apartments are set up, for all I know these have made their way here from someone else's gross pantry, in which case there's nothing I can do. So now all I can think about is bugs and my post-holiday relaxation weekend will instead be spent obsessively cleaning the kitchen (pull the fridge out to clean - yea, like that's happening by myself, maybe someone will be around) and probably the rest of the house. And it probably still won't be enough.

I mean, I know they don't do much and it's not like there's thousands of them (that I can see) but for all my obsessiveness about cleaning that's one big smack of failure right there

They come from the store sometimes. Only solution is to get rid of EVERYTHING they could live in, and store the rest in the freezer for a month. I hate the fuckers. It's got nothing to do with cleanliness though.

The bolded part is at least some relief. I tossed any grain or nut products that were open, since they seemed to focus on that. Gonna check out pastas, rice, cereals when I get home. Freeze anything still sealed or just whatever might not be air tight? The exterminator said spices too? As in salt, peppers, garlic, basil, etc.? Would they go after stuff like that? I fully intend on checking to make sure they're clean and that nothings hiding in any crevices in the lids or anything, but it would really suck to have to toss all of that (I have a lot of spices). Granted, the end purpose is to get rid of them. Or would that be more of a feezing situation.

Ugh this sucks. But thank you for the advice. I've been driving myself nuts over this

Yep, even seasonings... I found the little fuckers in my CAYENNE PEPPER once! I hates them. HATES. They prefer starches but will get into almost anything in a pinch. Including things you would never think of like dry beans and cocoa powder. But if you have room in the freezer, that will both prevent them from moving into your spices and kill any eggs they may have laid. It takes at least a week to kill the eggs, so be persistent! And I'm not sure how they do it, but I think they may lay eggs around the lids of sealed products; freeze those too. You will win!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

My baldness may offset it.

Ok rog- tell me more

You also get worn out organs.  Expect problems with the following:

1.  Heart
2.  Gall bladder
3.  Prostate

Results may vary, but at least one vital or semi-vital organ will betray you when you need it most.

Expect effects of excess weight to increase.  "Wind" is something for young people.  Intensity and duration of hangovers will increase by a full order of magnitude.  You will enjoy less tolerance of stupid people, particularly those in their teens/twenties.

NOW how much would you pay?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

So hey guys, it turns out that Facebook Discordians are INCREDIBLY easy to fuck with. I know that Howl has known that for a long time, but I'm finally trying it and they're getting all catty on me. 

They're more fun than you know what to do with...Especially since many of them were of the fold before they were lured away by Zuckerberg and turned into heathen. 

I feel an epistle coming on.

Seriously, I love that if you reply in a literal and factual fashion to anyone about anything, they promptly start accusing you of being "too serious" It's AWESOME. 

The epistle should get some froth going.

Which group are you trolling?  the 2011 ones?

I'm trolling the regular one; the one that has like 3000 members and nobody posts anything above the intellectual equivalent of "replace the word "love" in a song with the word "fuck".

I'm not kidding about that. 

There's a guy named Steve who is seriously butthurt because I tl;dr at him and then bumped a bunch of the stupidest threads I could find.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So hey guys, it turns out that Facebook Discordians are INCREDIBLY easy to fuck with. I know that Howl has known that for a long time, but I'm finally trying it and they're getting all catty on me. 

They're more fun than you know what to do with...Especially since many of them were of the fold before they were lured away by Zuckerberg and turned into heathen. 

I feel an epistle coming on.

Seriously, I love that if you reply in a literal and factual fashion to anyone about anything, they promptly start accusing you of being "too serious" It's AWESOME. 

The epistle should get some froth going.

Which group are you trolling?  the 2011 ones?

I'm trolling the regular one; the one that has like 3000 members and nobody posts anything above the intellectual equivalent of "replace the word "love" in a song with the word "fuck".

I'm not kidding about that. 

There's a guy named Steve who is seriously butthurt because I tl;dr at him and then bumped a bunch of the stupidest threads I could find.

To old timers:  Think PD, circa early 2003.  All day.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

$59.95 in three easy installments! But wait theres more right?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

$59.95 in three easy installments! But wait theres more right?

Yep!  You ALSO get to be condescended to by people half your age!  Your doctor will refuse to take your ailments seriously!  Smoking hot women will call you "sir" or "mister" and mean it the way YOU mean it when you talk to octegenarians! 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Damn. I dont want to get older.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Damn. I dont want to get older.

The alternative is worse.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Damn. I dont want to get older.

The alternative is worse.

True story.

Might as well embrace it, since you can't do anything about it.

All I can say is, I wish I'd been WAY more promiscuous while I still had the option of boning hot guys with hard bodies.