Bitter Cynic's Test

[The Good Reverend Roger]

20 points total.  Answers posted Monday.  Winner gets a hate mail.

1.  What is freedom?  Slavery of choice.
2.  What is science?  Everyone's personal religion.
3.  What is religion?  Somebody else's science.
4.  What is insanity? The state of being insufficiently neurotic.
5.  What is neurosis?  Personality.  Because consciousness always needs to have a style.
6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?  Falsehood.
7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?  They're all necessary ones.
8.  And who commits them?  Everyone else.
9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?  Good health and a bad memory. Ingrid Bergman.
10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?  The converted.
11.  What is the most important information in any message?  The name of the messenger.
12.  Why do some people believe in God?  Because they're afraid not to.
13.  Why do other people not believe in God?  Trick question. Everyone believes in God. They just don't believe in someone else's God.
14.  Who has the hardest belief system?  Atheists.  They have to believe in EVERYTHING.
15.  What's a black hole?  God's open grave.
16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct. One was the Cabalist sage Isaac ben Solomon Luria, who in the sixteenth century correctly surmised, in his theory of zimzum, or contraction, that God's first act of creation was to retract himself from existence, in order to make room for the world. The second was the painter Salvador Dali, who astutely noted that the universe is not vast and expanding at all, but is in fact smaller than a butterfly and contracting to a single point somewhere in a railway station in Perpignan, France.
17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)  Consensus

Remember that this was a test of cynicism, not science.  Points to be awarded down thread.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Edited #16 to specify TWO people.

[P3nT4gR4m]

1.  What is freedom?

Mine. Fuck you if you don't like it.

2.  What is science?

Cool as fuck

3.  What is religion?

Funny as fuck

4.  What is insanity?

Educational

5.  What is neurosis?

Train of thought on bent rails

6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?

Consciousness

7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?

Someone thinks they're evil

8.  And who commits them?"

Evildoers

9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?

Nope - I got nothing

10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?

Unbelievers

11.  What is the most important information in any message?

Not that

12.  Why do some people believe in God?

Someone convinced them

13.  Why do other people not believe in God?

It never worked on them

14.  Who has the hardest belief system?

I can't answer this 

15.  What's a black hole?

Some kind of science thing - a star implodes or something

16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct.

Can't think of any

17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)

Pretending you know what truth is

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Scores will be posted when answers are posted.

[Cainad (dec.)]

1.  What is freedom?
Making choices based on good information, with acknowledgement of all possibilities, not merely the comfortable ones.

2.  What is science?
The process of accruing the best possible information about the world/universe/reality by repeated testing of hypotheses and continual correction of ideas that do not correspond to reality.

3.  What is religion?
Defining the world/universe/reality from a human perspective, enforcing a human context on things which are decidedly inhuman.

4.  What is insanity?
Inability (not merely unwillingness) to parse bad signal from good signal, and acting accordingly.

5.  What is neurosis?
Bad wiring leading to maladaptive behaviors. The mind falls back on meaningless "solutions" to alleviate anxiety from another source.

6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?
The brain.

7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?
Humans.

8.  And who commits them?
Human.

9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?
Hrm... gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that it's Hunter S. Thompson.

10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?
The desperate.

11.  What is the most important information in any message?
"Who stands to gain if I believe this?"

12.  Why do some people believe in God?
A need for a reason behind the mess, even if it's a shitty reason.

13.  Why do other people not believe in God?
A refusal to accept that any distinct being could be responsible for this mess.

14.  Who has the hardest belief system?
Atheists, for they must find an impossible answer (proving a negative) in an inherently unanswerable question.

15.  What's a black hole?
A superdense collection of mass, or a dirty joke. Or both.

16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct.
Not sure about this one.

17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)
Certainty.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Will respond when i get back to laptop. I dont think ill score very high though.

[Pæs]

1.  What is freedom?
Freedom is the absence of subjection to obvious or direct interference/domination. It is the apparent power of self-determination. It's the illusion of independence. It's a symptom of being insufficiently aware of the effects of regulatory and oppressive agents.

2.  What is science?
An attempt to take responsibility for the pursuit of truth.  On paper, science is a promising proposition because it  contains methods to keep itself apolitical and free from bias. In practice, science is administered by a political system.

3.  What is religion?
An attempt to evade responsibility for the pursuit of truth. On paper, religion is a promising proposition because it contains methods to keep its assertions of moral authority immune to poltical meddling. In practice, religion is administered by a political system.

4.  What is insanity?
A result of insufficient science.

5.  What is neurosis?
A result of insufficient religion.

6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to... ?
Memesphere

7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?
Subjectivity.

8.  And who commits them?
Everyone.

9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?
William James: "Belief creates the actual fact." and "The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."

10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?
Um, everyone.

11.  What is the most important information in any message?
That which is omitted.

12.  Why do some people believe in God?
Low evidentiary standards.

13.  Why do other people not believe in God?
Response to the question as phrased: Insufficient evidence.
Response to the question as it may have been intended: People believe in !God because of low evidentiary standards.

14.  Who has the hardest belief system?
I don't understand the question. Does it refer to the practitioners of the religion which is most resistant to change under force or which is the most difficult to practice?

15.  What's a black hole?
A BLACK HOLE IS A PRISON FOR INFORMATION, GUARDED AND MAINTAINED BY ARMED GRAVITONS.

16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct.
Greg Hill and Kerry Wendell Thornley.

17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)
Unthinking respect for Einstein.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Ok ill take a stab w the phone. May come in chunks.

1 a paradox
2 a method of discovery limited by testability
3 submission to any belief system.
4 willful ignorance
5 insistence of imposition of your sense of comfort on reality
6 ignorance
7 the agent believes that it was the right thing to do
8 everyone
9 damned if i know
10 the choir

[Nephew Twiddleton]

11 that which is left out
12 because they need to
13 because they refuse to
14 the one who believes themself free
15 a whole lot of nothing
16 albert einstein and.... Hmmmm.
17 interpretation/manipulation

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Einstein and socrates. Einstein because reality thus far seems to agree with him and socrates because the only thing we know for sure is that we dont know shit.

[Richter]

I'll play.  I've yet to read an answer here that is wrong though.  WHY ARE YOU RUNNING PROJECTIVE TESTS ON US DAMNIT?   


1.  What is freedom?
A perceived condition of unrestricted choice

2.  What is science?
Job type - An assortment of disciplines less than more related to the scientific method.
Noun - The collected data and theories based on human observation.
Verb - The act of applying the scientific method in structured observation or experiment

3.  What is religion?
The organized administration of shared belief.

4.  What is insanity?
Action and reaction exhibited in a community that is perceived as not conducive to the well being of the individual or the community, or judged actions judged drastically different from the norm by members of the community.

5.  What is neurosis?
A condition of flight reflex triggering to situations not immediately perceived as needing to be fled from.

6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?
The world.

7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?
People doing them and people judging the acts to be evil.

8.  And who commits them?
People.

9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?
Not worrying about it too hard, and not trusting any one limited sentimental view or philosophy as absolute.

10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?
People who keep listening.

11.  What is the most important information in any message?
What the listener perceives the message to be, since this may vary from the sender's intent, and lead to difficulty.

12.  Why do some people believe in God?
Don't know.  Ask them.

13.  Why do other people not believe in God?
Don't know.  Ask them.

14.  Who has the hardest belief system?
The person whose beliefs cause them the most conflict (internal or external)

15.  What's a black hole?
I can describe the theory of an event horizon and an acceleration disk.  Information on the actual item is pending more complete observation.

16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct.


17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)
Thinking you know it.

[President Television]

1.  Just another name for nothing left to lose.
2.  The closest we can come to knowledge.
3.  The illusion of knowledge.
4.  The human condition.
5.  Awareness.
6.  Culture.
7.  Intent.
8.  People.
9.  No idea.
10.  All of us.
11.  The bit you can use.
12.  Because the world doesn't make any sense without one.
13.  Because the world doesn't make any sense with one.
14.  Whoever tries to justify it.
15.  A really dense lump of matter. Or Tuscon, Arizona.
16.  Finagle and Murphy.
17.  Certainty.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I think Wallified got 16.

[Deepthroat Chopra]

20 points total.  Answers posted Monday.  Winner gets a hate mail.

1.  What is freedom?
2.  What is science?
3.  What is religion?
4.  What is insanity?
5.  What is neurosis?
6.  A fish is to water as the mind is to. . . ?
7.  What do all the evils in the world have in common?
8.  And who commits them?
9.  What are the two great keys to lifelong happiness and what great modern thinker discovered them?
10.  To whom is all religious, moral, political, scientific and artistic preaching directed?
11.  What is the most important information in any message?
12.  Why do some people believe in God?
13.  Why do other people not believe in God?
14.  Who has the hardest belief system?
15.  What's a black hole?
16.  Name the only two humans in history whose theories on the nature of reality were correct.
17.  What is the greatest enemy of truth? (this one is worth 4 points)

1. In Australia, Freedom is chain of warehouses where furniture and home wares can be purchased. Elton John had Philadelphia Freedom, which meant he could eat all the cheesy steak he wished.

2. Science is a process whereby statistics are tortured until they confess what the torturer wants to hear.

3. Religion started when someone, millennia ago, worked out it was easier to collect yams after it was raining. He or she started praying for rain one day when they were hungry, and it all just rolled on from there.

4. Insanity is the only sane thing to do in an insane world.

5. Neurosis? Why would you ask that! What the hell are you getting at! That question was aimed at me wasn't it! You've been out to get me all this time, you bastard! Why don't you just stop? I didn;t do anything, and if I did, it's got nothing to do with you! Why the hell don't you leave me alone! You hate me, don't you! You and the frogs! Why won't they just stop! and so on...

6. DRUGS!

7. Someone's saying they're evil, while others are pointing out that evil is a relative concept in the minds of the evil-pointers, and evil may not actually exist in a vacuum divorced from cultural norms.

8. The enemy, or some other bastard.

9. An early and very quick death, or absolute perfect physical and mental health, forever. I'm not sure about modern thinkers, but I think Enoch disvovered it in the ancient Hebrew world.

10. I have a client who thinks it all directed at him. He likes to be known as "Mad Dog", and he lives in the northern suburbs of Brisbane. He also thinks Jesus and aliens communicate with him too.

11. I think it's all contained in the movement of the eyebrows, which is why i'm having such a hard time with the digital age.

12. Oh, that's because of the "yam receptors" located in the frontal lobe. Some people think they're being deeply spiritual, when in reality, they're just firing off neuro-receptors that make them crave yams.

13. They're conscious of what a yam is.

14. I think it'd be those guys that try to be spiritual vikings, and have to believe the world is being dragged around on the back of an enormous tortoise. Try visiting the Southern Hemisphere and keeping that belief alive. Or, maybe it's the people that believe in the inherent goodness of human nature.

15. They seem to appear whenever the subject of black holes exist. Some wanker will say "Well you're assuming black holes exist" before they drown in their own smugness, and the room falls silent, sucked into this wankers ego. Others say a black hole was a star that couldn't handle reality anymore, and topped themselves.

16. I was going to say Isaac Newton, but some fundamentalist christians reminded me that "Gravity is just a theory", before they floated off into that thing they wrote about in the "Left Behind" series. The Tribulation or something. Also, that guy who said "There's one born every minute", just as long as he/she said that thousands of years ago when there probably was only one person born every minute, because now, there's one (sucker) born every nanosecond, and it's exponential.

17. Hmmm...I would guess at ego being the answer. Individual ego's, and collective, tribal ego's, which become belief systems.


Difficult test!

[Salty]

15. They seem to appear whenever the subject of black holes exist. Some wanker will say "Well you're assuming black holes exist" before they drown in their own smugness, and the room falls silent, sucked into this wankers ego. Others say a black hole was a star that couldn't handle reality anymore, and topped themselves.