Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It is 112F out today.

The air is absolutely still.

And nobody ever stopped screaming again.

It's a good thing you guys are all already dead, that kind of thing could kill people if they were alive.

There are some advantages, yes.

[LMNO]

The financial equivalent of a ruptured ball mill just happened, and everyone's looking to me to clean up the mess.

I'm still going to watch the US play Germany, though.  Fuck it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The financial equivalent of a ruptured ball mill just happened, and everyone's looking to me to clean up the mess.

I'm still going to watch the US play Germany, though.  Fuck it.

Good man.

[LMNO]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

Holy shit.  Your heart is freaking out, parts of your body misfire, and their solution is "deal with it"?

Fuck.  That's harsh.

[Suu]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

Well. Shit. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

Holy shit.  Your heart is freaking out, parts of your body misfire, and their solution is "deal with it"?

Fuck.  That's harsh.

They're being honest.  There really isn't much to be done that wouldn't make things worse.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

On the plus side, I see a far better version of the world than you guys do.   

[Junkenstein]

Well if it keeps producing writing of your usual standard, it's a price we're willing to pay.

[LMNO]

So, the piece about seeing people from the 20th century in the mirror is... autobiographical?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

So, my health has been poor for the last few weeks.  The doctor sends me to the neurosurgeon.  The neurosurgeon tells me that my reticular formation is (and has been) "rewiring" itself.  It can't heal, but it can find new ways to use what's left.  This is normally a good thing, because it means that humans can recover from damn near anything.

However, the reticular formation basically acts as the brain's switchboard.  When it starts rewiring itself, that means that important signals get stepped on or interfered with, similar to "chatter" in data cables.  What this means in practical terms is that A.  I will get arrythmia to the point where I fall down if I'm standing, as well as B.  Sensory interference.  This can mean anything from numb limbs to hearing (balance, anyone?  Your brain isn't talking with your inner ear, check back in 30 seconds), to illusions.

Illusions are different from hallucinations in that you don't believe they exist.  The part of my brain that THINKS is unchanged (ie, still stupid), so when I see weird things (and by weird, I mean, HELLO, Ben Templesmith!), I just decide that it's this problem and ignore it.

The good news is, this didn't happen when I was younger, because it's happening far slower in my case and is less likely to, you know, have my brain just stop talking to my heart or lungs altogether.  The bad news is that it may take a little while for my brain to decide that it's done making repairs.  Like, say, 30 years or so.

The treatment course is "choke it down, sissy".  The best they can do is give me sedatives to make me feel better about it.

And if you know me at all, you know sedatives aren't really my style.

So this is what's been wrong with me for a while now.  Weeks.  Longer, really, but it's only just gotten bad this last spring.  I've been a bit of a hermit because I don't need ANY extra stress, and I wasn't going to deal with the latest version of holist.  Also, I've been super busy at work, as I have mentioned.

Thing is, there's been no time to write, so no stress relief.  So I am MAKING time to write, no matter how busy we are.  Next chapter in the PI story goes up sometime today.

That is some fucked up shit right there. Wow, man.

[Cramulus]

Yeah Roger, that's some serious shit. Thoughts are with you. That must be really disorienting.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My neighbors seem to be standing in their back yard ringing a large bell and calling out for Nixon.

I am less OK with this than you might think I am.

Sometimes the weird happens right next to you.  Statistically speaking, it has to.

And at least this isn't the kind of weird that sometimes happens.

It's a lot better than the other thing that's happening on my block, which is house demolition beginning at 7 am every day this week.

[EK WAFFLR]

Christ, Roger. That sounds awful.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So, the piece about seeing people from the 20th century in the mirror is... autobiographical?

No, but it is almost representative.

It's more like everything distorts, but occasionally I see angels, people turn into caricatures, etc.  They're not really there, of course.  But it can be a little unnerving at first.