Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[minuspace]

I was in Chicago last week.  It smells better than I remember.

Also, why are there so many dogs now?

Yeah, I noticed how much I wasn't smelling such a large city when I was there. I was like shit dude, what the fuck is New York dropping the ball on? One of the natives was like, "We regularly clean our streets and sidewalks." I told them to get their mayor to send New York's mayor their street sweeping plans.

When I first moved to Chicago, it was an open sewer.  The one thing Daley Jr did well was tidy things up.

In terms of garbage, I mean.  In other matters, his record's not so good.

It's looking pretty good now. I was impressed.

I hear that's why they call it the "windy city"

It's because the politicians are full of hot air or being windbags or something. Either way it's the politicians.

Yea, heads on a swivel
Not always too civil

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Today was a fucking train wreck. But the part that involves me leaving the house is over.

I had the fastest, most professional, least traumatic-y pap smear of my life today. I want to send my damn doctor a bouquet of roses. Two, if he teaches his nurse to shut up during exams. Three, if I can get the 'basting brush' jokes out of my head.

He was weirded out by my request to skip the anesthesia for the biopsy all together.

First he was expecting me to wuss out and then he was mildly terrified when I didn't so much as twitch at either the cutty or the burny part of the procedure. He looked at me when we were done and said "Now I've seen everything." O.o

A quick blood draw and that was that.

Then we left and everything else we were gonna get done today went to shit and I ain't even gonna talk about it. The important part is that in a few days or whatever I find out whether I should keep packing for Oregon or start selling everything for cancer treatment. YAY!

I feel like a crybaby for being as worried about the cancer thing as I am. It's a serious possibility but there isn't dick I can do about it.

Ugh. Been there. Good luck, I hope it's all clear.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My People are, and always will be, some kind of scum.

I dunno how I feel about that. Drunk, I guess. I feel drunk about that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am a ball of overheated seething resentment, but part 2 of my research proposal has been submitted.

Still pretty sure the professor's drunk.

[minuspace]

I just started doing some oil painting - and the word "dabbling" finally clicked.  I think it's about how dabbing with a round brush can easily produce effective results.  Oh, and I don't care if I'm wrong

[Trivial]

You better paint some happy trees!

[minuspace]

You better paint some happy trees!

And just beat the hell out that brush (you got it)

[Bu🤠ns]

You better paint some happy trees!

And just beat the hell out that brush (you got it)

hahhahahha YES.  It's the best part!  but make sure you grin and look at the camera afterward.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My housemates seem to have dismantled my floor lamp for some reason.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was in Chicago last week.  It smells better than I remember.

Also, why are there so many dogs now?

Yeah, I noticed how much I wasn't smelling such a large city when I was there. I was like shit dude, what the fuck is New York dropping the ball on? One of the natives was like, "We regularly clean our streets and sidewalks." I told them to get their mayor to send New York's mayor their street sweeping plans.

When I first moved to Chicago, it was an open sewer.  The one thing Daley Jr did well was tidy things up.

In terms of garbage, I mean.  In other matters, his record's not so good.

It's looking pretty good now. I was impressed.

The rot is all underneath.

In the form of hopeless, endless corruption.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I was in Chicago last week.  It smells better than I remember.

Also, why are there so many dogs now?

Yeah, I noticed how much I wasn't smelling such a large city when I was there. I was like shit dude, what the fuck is New York dropping the ball on? One of the natives was like, "We regularly clean our streets and sidewalks." I told them to get their mayor to send New York's mayor their street sweeping plans.

When I first moved to Chicago, it was an open sewer.  The one thing Daley Jr did well was tidy things up.

In terms of garbage, I mean.  In other matters, his record's not so good.

It's looking pretty good now. I was impressed.

The rot is all underneath.

In the form of hopeless, endless corruption.

So trying to sell Obama's empty seat wasn't a one off thing. I suppose I'm not surprised by that.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was in Chicago last week.  It smells better than I remember.

Also, why are there so many dogs now?

Yeah, I noticed how much I wasn't smelling such a large city when I was there. I was like shit dude, what the fuck is New York dropping the ball on? One of the natives was like, "We regularly clean our streets and sidewalks." I told them to get their mayor to send New York's mayor their street sweeping plans.

When I first moved to Chicago, it was an open sewer.  The one thing Daley Jr did well was tidy things up.

In terms of garbage, I mean.  In other matters, his record's not so good.

It's looking pretty good now. I was impressed.

The rot is all underneath.

In the form of hopeless, endless corruption.

So trying to sell Obama's empty seat wasn't a one off thing. I suppose I'm not surprised by that.

Blagovich was just clumsy.  That kind of shit is NORMAL, but you're still supposed to HIDE it.

[Cain]

I'm not even sure how far back Chicago's corruption goes.  At least the 1920s, for sure, but possibly way, way longer.

Any place that is that persistently corrupt, over that long a period of time, has some serious rot.

[minuspace]

Someone down in my hood seems to be preparing for an awesome party - that light rig is crazy!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Just went out drinking with my son and his friend Cassie. 

And then she caveman'd him.   

I might see him by Monday.