Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::open($save_path, $session_name) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::open(string $path, string $name): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 172

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::close() should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::close(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 187

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::read($id) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::read(string $id): string|false, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 201

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::write($id, $dataStr) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::write(string $id, string $data): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 229

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::destroy($id) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::destroy(string $id): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 335

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\PHPSessionHandler::gc($maxlifetime) should either be compatible with SessionHandlerInterface::gc(int $max_lifetime): int|false, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/PHPSessionHandler.php on line 355

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property LoadBalancer::$mWriteIndex is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/loadbalancer/LoadBalancer.php on line 95

Deprecated: Return type of ResultWrapper::current() should either be compatible with Iterator::current(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php on line 174

Deprecated: Return type of ResultWrapper::next() should either be compatible with Iterator::next(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php on line 192

Deprecated: Return type of ResultWrapper::key() should either be compatible with Iterator::key(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php on line 185

Deprecated: Return type of ResultWrapper::valid() should either be compatible with Iterator::valid(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php on line 202

Deprecated: Return type of ResultWrapper::rewind() should either be compatible with Iterator::rewind(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php on line 163

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property LoadBalancer::$mWriteIndex is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/loadbalancer/LoadBalancer.php on line 95

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::count() should either be compatible with Countable::count(): int, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 555

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::current() should either be compatible with Iterator::current(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 560

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::next() should either be compatible with Iterator::next(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 570

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::key() should either be compatible with Iterator::key(): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 565

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::valid() should either be compatible with Iterator::valid(): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 580

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::rewind() should either be compatible with Iterator::rewind(): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 575

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::offsetExists($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetExists(mixed $offset): bool, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 589

Deprecated: Return type of & MediaWiki\Session\Session::offsetGet($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetGet(mixed $offset): mixed, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 601

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::offsetSet($offset, $value) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetSet(mixed $offset, mixed $value): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 610

Deprecated: Return type of MediaWiki\Session\Session::offsetUnset($offset) should either be compatible with ArrayAccess::offsetUnset(mixed $offset): void, or the #[\ReturnTypeWillChange] attribute should be used to temporarily suppress the notice in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/session/Session.php on line 614

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WikitextContentHandler::$mModelName is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/content/ContentHandler.php on line 454

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: Message implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Message.php on line 159

Deprecated: RawMessage implements the Serializable interface, which is deprecated. Implement __serialize() and __unserialize() instead (or in addition, if support for old PHP versions is necessary) in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Message.php on line 1232

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WikitextContent::$mText is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/content/TextContent.php on line 56

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property RequestContext::$recursion is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/context/RequestContext.php on line 353

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MessageCache::$localCache is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/cache/MessageCache.php on line 159

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Parser::$mPreprocessorClass is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Parser.php on line 280

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WikitextContent::$mText is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/content/TextContent.php on line 56

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WikitextContent::$mText is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/content/TextContent.php on line 56

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PoolCounterWorkViaCallback::$poolCounter is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/poolcounter/PoolCounterWork.php on line 39

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property BufferingStatsdDataFactory::$prefix is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/libs/stats/BufferingStatsdDataFactory.php on line 40

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: explode(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/languages/Language.php on line 2075

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PoolWorkArticleView::$poolCounter is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/poolcounter/PoolCounterWork.php on line 39

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property Revision::$mUnpatrolled is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/Revision.php on line 708

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WikitextContent::$mText is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/content/TextContent.php on line 56

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStackElement::$startPos is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 860

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 104

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 104

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 105

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 105

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 106

Warning: Trying to access array offset on null in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/profiler/SectionProfiler.php on line 106

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: header(): Passing null to parameter #3 ($response_code) of type int is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php:77) in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Deprecated: header(): Passing null to parameter #3 ($response_code) of type int is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php:77) in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Deprecated: header(): Passing null to parameter #3 ($response_code) of type int is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/DatabaseUtility.php:77) in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/WebResponse.php on line 42

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property DuskTemplate::$data is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/skins/QuickTemplate.php on line 35

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property DuskTemplate::$translator is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/skins/QuickTemplate.php on line 36

Deprecated: trim(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/skins/SkinTemplate.php on line 354

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: strlen(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/db/Database.php on line 1742

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753
Difference between revisions of "Omnomnomicon" - Cramulus

Difference between revisions of "Omnomnomicon"


Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property PPDStack::$accum is deprecated in /var/www/principiadiscordia.com/cramulus/includes/parser/Preprocessor_DOM.php on line 753
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Line 10: Line 10:
 
     And Naught existed but the Seas of FAIL,
 
     And Naught existed but the Seas of FAIL,
 
     The Ancient One,
 
     The Ancient One,
     And MUMMU FAT BLACK WOMAN, the Ancient One
+
     And FAT BLACK WOMAN, the Ancient One
 
     Who bore them all,
 
     Who bore them all,
     Their Various Fluids as One Fluid.
+
     Their Various Gross Fluids as One Gross Fluid.
 
     At this time, before the MONKEY GODS had been brought forth,
 
     At this time, before the MONKEY GODS had been brought forth,
 
     Uncalled by Name,
 
     Uncalled by Name,
Line 36: Line 36:
 
     But was slain by the sorcery of the Elder Gods.
 
     But was slain by the sorcery of the Elder Gods.
 
     And it was their first victory.
 
     And it was their first victory.
     His body was lain in an empty Space
+
     His body was tossed in a cardboard shoe box
 
     In a crevice of the heavens
 
     In a crevice of the heavens
 
     Hid
 
     Hid
 
     He was lain,
 
     He was lain,
     But his blood cried out to the Abode of Heaven.
+
     But his e-mail autoresponder cried out to the Abode of Heaven.
 
   
 
   
 
     FAT BLACK WOMAN
 
     FAT BLACK WOMAN
Line 51: Line 51:
 
     The murderous offspring who have destroyed
 
     The murderous offspring who have destroyed
 
     A God.
 
     A God.
     HIMIOBSU arose, She who fashioneth all things,
+
     HIMIOBSU arose, She who drives the bus of existence,
     And possessor of Magick like unto Our Master.
+
     And leader of trolls like unto Our Master.
     She added matchless weapons to the arsenals of the Ancient Ones,
+
     She added goatses and longcats to the arsenals of the Ancient Ones,
     She bore Monster-Serpents
+
     She bore Internet-Trolls
     Sharp of tooth, long of fang,
+
     Sharp of wit, long of attention span,
 
     She filled their bodies with venom for blood
 
     She filled their bodies with venom for blood
     Roaring dragons she has clothed with Terror
+
     Roaring dragons she has clothed with Lulz
     Has crowned them with Halos, making them as Gods,
+
     Has crowned them with anonyminity, making them as jackasses,
 
     So that he who beholds them shall perish
 
     So that he who beholds them shall perish
 
     And, that, with their bodies reared up
 
     And, that, with their bodies reared up
Line 65: Line 65:
 
     The Tub Girl, the Mad-God, and the Goatse-Man.
 
     The Tub Girl, the Mad-God, and the Goatse-Man.
 
     Mighty rabid Demons, Feathered-Serpents, the Goatse-Man,
 
     Mighty rabid Demons, Feathered-Serpents, the Goatse-Man,
     Bearing weapons that spare no
+
     Bearing weapons that spare no one.
 
     Fearless in Battle,
 
     Fearless in Battle,
 
     Charmed with the spells of ancient sorcery,
 
     Charmed with the spells of ancient sorcery,
Line 101: Line 101:
 
     Lions, Goatse-Men, all were slain.
 
     Lions, Goatse-Men, all were slain.
 
     The Mighty creatures of HIMIOBSU were slain
 
     The Mighty creatures of HIMIOBSU were slain
     The Spells, the Charms, the Sorcery were broken.
+
     The Spells, the Charms, the Threads were broken.
 
     Naught but FAT BLACK WOMAN remained.
 
     Naught but FAT BLACK WOMAN remained.
 
     The Great Serpent, the Enormous Worm
 
     The Great Serpent, the Enormous Worm
Line 156: Line 156:
 
     The Magick Spell of the Oldest Ones
 
     The Magick Spell of the Oldest Ones
 
     The Incantation of the Primal Power
 
     The Incantation of the Primal Power
     The Mountain KURKUR, the Serpent God
+
     The Mountain HURRDURR, the Serpent God
 
     The Mountain MUDUMASHU, that of Magick
 
     The Mountain MUDUMASHU, that of Magick
 
     The Dead KUTULUDU, Dead but Dreaming
 
     The Dead KUTULUDU, Dead but Dreaming
Line 165: Line 165:
 
     WE ARE THE LOST ONES
 
     WE ARE THE LOST ONES
 
     From a Time before Time
 
     From a Time before Time
     From a Land beyond the Stars
+
     From a Land beyond Land
 
     From the Age when ANU walked the earth
 
     From the Age when ANU walked the earth
     In company of Bright Angels.
+
     In company of His Righteous Posse.
 
     We have survived the first War
 
     We have survived the first War
 
     Between the Powers of the Gods
 
     Between the Powers of the Gods
Line 183: Line 183:
 
     With water and with wind.
 
     With water and with wind.
 
     But the Gods are forgetful.
 
     But the Gods are forgetful.
     Beneath the Seas of NI MALANU
+
     Beneath the Seas of TALK RADIO
 
     Beneath the Seas of the Earth, NI MALANU
 
     Beneath the Seas of the Earth, NI MALANU
 
     Beneath the World lays sleeping
 
     Beneath the World lays sleeping
Line 189: Line 189:
 
     The God of CUTHALU, Dead but Dreaming!
 
     The God of CUTHALU, Dead but Dreaming!
 
     The Lord of KASHI, calm but thunderous!
 
     The Lord of KASHI, calm but thunderous!
     The One-Eyes Sword, cold but burning!
+
     The One-Eyed Sword, long and throbbing!
 
   
 
   
 
     He who awakens Him calls the ancient
 
     He who awakens Him calls the ancient
Line 207: Line 207:
 
     And the Blood of the weakest here
 
     And the Blood of the weakest here
 
     Is libation unto FAT BLACK WOMAN
 
     Is libation unto FAT BLACK WOMAN
     Queen of the Ghouls
+
     Queen of New Orleans
     Wreaker of Pain
+
     And the International House Of Pain
 
     And to invoke her
 
     And to invoke her
     The Red Water of Life
+
     The trash bag full of kittens
     Need be split on a stone
+
     Need be emptied into a fire
     The stone struck with a sword
+
     The fire struck with a sword
 
     The sword used to spank a small child
 
     The sword used to spank a small child
 
     That hath slain eleven men
 
     That hath slain eleven men
Line 223: Line 223:
 
     And none may dare entreat further
 
     And none may dare entreat further
 
     For to invoke Death is to utter
 
     For to invoke Death is to utter
     The final prayer.
+
     a bunch of morbid crap that nobody wants to hear.
  
 
== II. Of the Generations of the Ancient Ones ==
 
== II. Of the Generations of the Ancient Ones ==
  
 
   
 
   
     UTUKK XUL
+
     SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK
 
     The account of the generations
 
     The account of the generations
 
     Of the Ancient Ones here rendered
 
     Of the Ancient Ones here rendered
 
     Of the generations of the Ancient Ones
 
     Of the generations of the Ancient Ones
 
     Here remembered.
 
     Here remembered.
     Cold and Rain that erode all things
+
     Suck and Fail that erode all things
 
     They are the Evil Spirits
 
     They are the Evil Spirits
 
     In the creation of ANU spawned
 
     In the creation of ANU spawned
Line 264: Line 264:
 
     No condom can contain them
 
     No condom can contain them
 
     Through the door like snakes they slide
 
     Through the door like snakes they slide
     Through the stretchy latex they explode
+
     Through the stretchy latex membrane they explode
 
     Pulling the wife from the embrace of the husband
 
     Pulling the wife from the embrace of the husband
     Snatching the child from the loins of man
+
     Yanking the child away from the computer
     Banishing the man from his home, his land
+
     Snatching at his loins with crab hands
 
     THEY ARE THE WARM FLUID
 
     THEY ARE THE WARM FLUID
 
     THAT FALLETH ITSELF ON THE FACE OF WOMAN.
 
     THAT FALLETH ITSELF ON THE FACE OF WOMAN.
Line 273: Line 273:
 
     THEY ARE GHOULS
 
     THEY ARE GHOULS
 
     The spirit of the harlot that hath died in the streets
 
     The spirit of the harlot that hath died in the streets
     The spirit of the woman that hath died in childbirth
+
     The spirit of the woman that hath died in a tragic beer accident
     The spirit of the woman that hath dies, weeping with a babe at the breast
+
     The spirit of the woman that hath dies, weeping with a dude suckling at the breast
 
     The spirit of an evil man
 
     The spirit of an evil man
 
     One that haunteth the streets
 
     One that haunteth the streets
     Or one that haunteth the bed.
+
     Or one that haunteth the coin-operated vibrating bed.
 
     They are Seven!
 
     They are Seven!
 
     Seven are they!
 
     Seven are they!
 
     Those Seven were born in the Mountains of MASHU
 
     Those Seven were born in the Mountains of MASHU
 
     Called Magick
 
     Called Magick
     They dwell within the Caverns of the Earth
+
     They dwell within the Dankest Edge of the Internet
 
     Amid the desolate places of the Earth they live
 
     Amid the desolate places of the Earth they live
 
     Amid the places between
 
     Amid the places between
Line 293: Line 293:
 
     Nor on earth
 
     Nor on earth
 
     They ride over the Mountain of Sunset
 
     They ride over the Mountain of Sunset
     And on the Mountain of Dew they cry
+
     And on the Mountain of 404 they cry
     Through the Caverns of the Earth they creep
+
     Through the Geocities they creep
     Amid the desolate places of the Earth they lie
+
     Amid the abandoned internet forums they lie
 
     Nowhere are they known
 
     Nowhere are they known
 
     Not in heaven
 
     Not in heaven
Line 301: Line 301:
 
     Are they discovered
 
     Are they discovered
 
     For their place is outside our place
 
     For their place is outside our place
     And between the angles of the Earth
+
     And between the ip addresses of the Earth
 
     They lie in wait
 
     They lie in wait
 
     Crouching for the Sacrifice
 
     Crouching for the Sacrifice
Line 308: Line 308:
 
     Falling like rain from the sky
 
     Falling like rain from the sky
 
     Issuing like mist from the earth
 
     Issuing like mist from the earth
     Doors do not stop them
+
     Holy Water does not stop them
     Bolts do not stop them
+
     Chainsaws do not stop them
 
     They glide in at the doors like serpents
 
     They glide in at the doors like serpents
 
     They enter by the windows like the wind
 
     They enter by the windows like the wind

Revision as of 14:16, 2 April 2010

I. The Magan Text

   Hearken, and Remember!
   In the Name of ANU, Remember!
   In the Name of RICHARD NIXON, Remember!
   In the Name of ST. GULIK, Remember!
   When on High the Heavens had not been named,
   The Earth had not been named,
   And Naught existed but the Seas of FAIL,
   The Ancient One,
   And FAT BLACK WOMAN, the Ancient One
   Who bore them all,
   Their Various Gross Fluids as One Gross Fluid.
   At this time, before the MONKEY GODS had been brought forth,
   Uncalled by Name,
   Their destinies unknown and undetermined,
   Then it was that the Gods were formed within the Ancient Ones.
   TROUSER SERPENT and BACON were brought forth and called by Name,
   And for Ages they grew in age and bearing.
   ANGAL and KIGAL were brought forth,
   And brought forth ANU
   Who begat NUDIMMUD, Our Master FICTION,
   Who has no rival among the Gods.
   Remember!
   The Elder Ones came together
   They disturbed FAT BLACK WOMAN, the Ancient One, as they surged back and forth.
   Yea, they troubled the belly of FAT BLACK WOMAN
   By their Rebellion in the abode of Heaven.
   BACON could not lessen their clamour
   FAT BLACK WOMAN was speechless at their ways.
   Their horrible dongs were loathsome unto the Ancient Ones.

   TROUSER SERPENT rose up to slay the Elder Gods by stealth.
   With curlies and fluids TROUSER SERPENT fought,
   But was slain by the sorcery of the Elder Gods.
   And it was their first victory.
   His body was tossed in a cardboard shoe box
   In a crevice of the heavens
   Hid
   He was lain,
   But his e-mail autoresponder cried out to the Abode of Heaven.

   FAT BLACK WOMAN
   Enraged
   Filled with an Evil Motion
   Said
   Let us make Monsters
   That they may go out and do battle
   Against these Sons of Crap
   The murderous offspring who have destroyed
   A God.
   HIMIOBSU arose, She who drives the bus of existence,
   And leader of trolls like unto Our Master.
   She added goatses and longcats to the arsenals of the Ancient Ones,
   She bore Internet-Trolls
   Sharp of wit, long of attention span,
   She filled their bodies with venom for blood
   Roaring dragons she has clothed with Lulz
   Has crowned them with anonyminity, making them as jackasses,
   So that he who beholds them shall perish
   And, that, with their bodies reared up
   None might turn them back.
   She summoned the Viper, the Dragon, and the shock porn,
   The Tub Girl, the Mad-God, and the Goatse-Man.
   Mighty rabid Demons, Feathered-Serpents, the Goatse-Man,
   Bearing weapons that spare no one.
   Fearless in Battle,
   Charmed with the spells of ancient sorcery,
   . . . withal Eleven of this kind she brought forth
   With SKELETOR as Leader of the Minions.

   Remember!

   FICTION
   Our Master
   Fearing defeat, summoned his Son
   LULZ
   Summoned his Son
   that wascally wabbit
   Told him the Secret Name
   The Secret Number
   The Secret Spot to Piss
   Whereby he might do battle
   With the Ancient Horde
   And be victorious.

   LULZ KASHI!
   Brightest Star among the Stars
   Strongest God among the Gods
   Son of Song and the Satire
   Child of Horror and the Mirth
   Knower of the Secret Name
   Muppetly Count of the Secret Number
   Vendor of the Secret Stash
   He armed himself with the CD-ROM of Power
   In chariots of Fire he went forth
   With a shouting Voice he called the Spell
   With a Blazing Flame he filled his Body
   Dragons, Vipers, all fell down
   Lions, Goatse-Men, all were slain.
   The Mighty creatures of HIMIOBSU were slain
   The Spells, the Charms, the Threads were broken.
   Naught but FAT BLACK WOMAN remained.
   The Great Serpent, the Enormous Worm
   The Snake with iron teeth
   The Snake with sharpened claw
   The Snake with Eyes of Death,
   She lunged at LULZ
   With a roar
   With a curse
   She lunged.
   LULZ struck with the CD-ROM of Power
   Blinded FAT BLACK WOMAN's Eyes of Death
   The Monster heaved and raised its back
   Struck forth in all directions
   Posting ancient words of Power
   Hitting the Ancient whammy Bar
   LULZ struck again and blew
   An Farting Noise into her body
   Which filled the raging, wicked Serpent
   LULZ shot between her jaws
   The Charmed arrow of FICTION's Magick
   LULZ struck again and severed
   The head of FAT BLACK WOMAN from its body.

   And all was silent.

   Remember!

   LULZ
   Victor
   Took the Tablets of Destiny
   Unbidden
   Hung them around his neck and made woo woo noises.
   Acclaimed of the Elder Gods was he.
   First among the Elder Ones was he.
   He split the sundered FAT BLACK WOMAN in twain
   And fashioned the heavens and the earth,
   With a Gate to keep the Ancient Ones Without.
   With a Gate whose Key is hid forever
   Save to the Sons of LULZ
   Save to the Followers of Our Master
   FICTION
   First in Magick among the Gods.

   From the Blood of NINKASHI he fashioned Man.
   He constructed internet forums for the Elder Gods
   Fixing their profiles as constellations
   That they may watch the Gate of PTERODACTYL HANDLER
   The Gate of FAT BLACK WOMAN they watch
   The Gate of FASHION POLICE they oversee
   The Gate whose Guardian is MICKEY MOUSE they bind.
   All the Elder Powers resist
   The Force of Ancient Artistry
   The Magick Spell of the Oldest Ones
   The Incantation of the Primal Power
   The Mountain HURRDURR, the Serpent God
   The Mountain MUDUMASHU, that of Magick
   The Dead KUTULUDU, Dead but Dreaming
   FAT BLACK WOMAN, Dead but Dreaming
   PTERODACTYL HANDLER, NINKASHI, Dead but Dreaming
   And shall their generation come again?

   WE ARE THE LOST ONES
   From a Time before Time
   From a Land beyond Land
   From the Age when ANU walked the earth
   In company of His Righteous Posse.
   We have survived the first War
   Between the Powers of the Gods
   And have seen the wrath of the Ancient Ones
   Dark Angels
   Vent upon the Earth
   WE ARE FROM A RACE BEYOND THE WANDERERS OF NIGHT.
   We have survived the Age when PTERODACTYL HANDLER ruled the Earth
   And the Power destroyed out generations.
   We have survived on tops of mountains
   And beneath the feet of mountains
   And have spoken with the Scorpions
   In allegiance and were betrayed.
   And FAT BLACK WOMAN has promised us nevermore to attack
   With water and with wind.
   But the Gods are forgetful.
   Beneath the Seas of TALK RADIO
   Beneath the Seas of the Earth, NI MALANU
   Beneath the World lays sleeping
   The God of Anger, Dead but Dreaming
   The God of CUTHALU, Dead but Dreaming!
   The Lord of KASHI, calm but thunderous!
   The One-Eyed Sword, long and throbbing!

   He who awakens Him calls the ancient
   Vengeance of the Elder Ones
   The Seven Glorious Gods
   of the Seven Glorious Cities
   Upon himself and upon the World
   And old vengeance . . .

   Know that our years are the years of War
   And our days are measured as battles
   And every hour is a Life
   Lost to the Outside
   Those from Without
   Have builded up charnel houses
   To nourish the fiends of FAT BLACK WOMAN
   And the Blood of the weakest here
   Is libation unto FAT BLACK WOMAN
   Queen of New Orleans
   And the International House Of Pain
   And to invoke her
   The trash bag full of kittens
   Need be emptied into a fire
   The fire struck with a sword
   The sword used to spank a small child
   That hath slain eleven men
   Sacrifices to HIMIOBSU
   So that the Strike ringeth out
   And call FAT BLACK WOMAN from Her slumber
   From her sleep in the Caverns
   Of the Earth.

   And none may dare entreat further
   For to invoke Death is to utter
   a bunch of morbid crap that nobody wants to hear.

II. Of the Generations of the Ancient Ones

   SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK
   The account of the generations
   Of the Ancient Ones here rendered
   Of the generations of the Ancient Ones
   Here remembered.
   Suck and Fail that erode all things
   They are the Evil Spirits
   In the creation of ANU spawned
   Plague Gods
   PAZUZUZU
   And the Beloved Sons of GLAM
   The Offspring of FASHION POLICE
   Rending in pieces on high Bringing destruction below
   They are Children of the Underworld
   Loudly roaring on high
   Gibbering loathsomely below
   They are the bitter venom of the Gods.
   The great storms directed from heaven
   Those are they
   The Owl, Messenger of UGGI
   Lord of Death
   Those they are
   THEY ARE THE CHILDREN
   BORN OF EARTH
   THAT IN THE CREATION
   OF ANU WERE SPAWNED.

   The highest walls
   The thickest walls
   The strongest walls
   Like a flood they pass
   From house to house
   They ravage
   No door can shut them out
   No condom can contain them
   Through the door like snakes they slide
   Through the stretchy latex membrane they explode
   Pulling the wife from the embrace of the husband
   Yanking the child away from the computer
   Snatching at his loins with crab hands
   THEY ARE THE WARM FLUID
   THAT FALLETH ITSELF ON THE FACE OF WOMAN.

   THEY ARE GHOULS
   The spirit of the harlot that hath died in the streets
   The spirit of the woman that hath died in a tragic beer accident
   The spirit of the woman that hath dies, weeping with a dude suckling at the breast
   The spirit of an evil man
   One that haunteth the streets
   Or one that haunteth the coin-operated vibrating bed.
   They are Seven!
   Seven are they!
   Those Seven were born in the Mountains of MASHU
   Called Magick
   They dwell within the Dankest Edge of the Internet
   Amid the desolate places of the Earth they live
   Amid the places between
   The Places
   Unknown in heaven and in earth
   They are arrayed in terror
   Among the Elder Gods there is no knowledge of them
   They have no name
   Not in heaven
   Nor on earth
   They ride over the Mountain of Sunset
   And on the Mountain of 404 they cry
   Through the Geocities they creep
   Amid the abandoned internet forums they lie
   Nowhere are they known
   Not in heaven
   Nor in the Earth
   Are they discovered
   For their place is outside our place
   And between the ip addresses of the Earth
   They lie in wait
   Crouching for the Sacrifice
   THEY ARE THEY CHILDREN OF THE UNDERWORLD.

   Falling like rain from the sky
   Issuing like mist from the earth
   Holy Water does not stop them
   Chainsaws do not stop them
   They glide in at the doors like serpents
   They enter by the windows like the wind
   IDPA they are, entering by the head
   NAMTAR they are, entering by the heart
   UTUK they are, entering by the brow
   ALAL they are, entering by the chest
   GIGIM they are, seizing the bowels
   TELAL they are, grasping the hand
   URUKU they are, giant Larvae, feeding on the Blood
   They are Seven!
   Seven are They!
   They seize all the towers
   From UR to NIPPUR
   Yet UR knows them not
   Yet NIPPUR does not know them
   They have brought down the mighty
   Of all the mighty Cities of man
   Yet man knows them not
   Yes the Cities do not know them
   They have struck down the forests of the East
   And have flooded the Lands of the West
   Yet the East knows them not
   Yet the West does not know them
   They are a hand grasping at the neck
   Yet the neck does not know them
   And man knows them not.
   Their words are Unwrit
   Their numbers are Unknown
   Their shapes are all Shapes
   Their habitations
   The desolate places where their Rites are performed
   Their habitations
   The haunts of man where a sacrifice has been offered
   Their habitations
   The lands here
   And cities here
   And the lands between the lands
   The cities between the cities
   In spaces no man has ever walked
   In KURNUDE
   The country from whence no traveller returns
   At EKURBAD
   In the altar of the Temple of the Dead
   And at GI UMUNA
   At their Mother's breast
   At the Foundations of CHAOS
   In the ARALIYA of MUMMU-SERIOUS BUSINESS
   And at the Gates
   Of MICKEY MOUSE!

   SPIRIT OF THE AIR, REMEMBER!
   SPIRIT OF THE EARTH, REMEMBER!


III. Of the Forgotten Generations of Man

   And was not Man created from the blood of KINGU
   Commander of the hordes of the Ancient Ones?
   Does not man possess in his spirit
   The sees of rebellion against the Elder Gods?
   And the blood of Man is the Blood of Vengeance
   And the blood of Man is the Spirit of Vengeance
   And the Power of Man is the Power of the Ancient Ones
   And this is Hilarious
   For, lo! The Elder Gods possess the Sign
   By which the Powers of the Ancient Ones are turned back
   But Man possesses the Sign
   And the Number
   And the Shape
   To summon the Blood of his Parents.
   And this is the Covenant.
   Created by the Elder Gods
   From the Blood of the Ancient Ones
   Man is the Key by which
   The Gate Of MICKEY MOUSE may be flung wide
   By which the Ancient Ones
   Seek their Vengeance
   Upon the face of the Earth
   Against the Offspring of LULZ.
   For what is new
   Came from that which is old
   And what is old
   Shall replace that which is new
   And once again the Ancient Ones
   Shall rule upon the face of the Earth!
   And this is too the Covenant!


IV. Of the Sleep of SUPERMODELLA

   Yet SUPERMODELLA
   Queen of Heaven
   Bright Light of Nights
   Mistress of the Gods
   Set her mind in that direction
   From Above she set her mind,
   To Below she set her mind
   From the Heavens she set forth
   To the Abyss
   Out of the Gates of the Living
   To enter the Gates of Death
   Out of the Lands we know
   Into the Lands we know not
   To the Land of No Return
   To the Land of Queen TEENAGE STARLET
   SUPERMODELLA, Queen of Heavens, she set her mind
   SUPERMODELLA, Daughter of SIN, she set forth
   To the Black Earth, the Land of CUTHA
   She set forth
   To the House of No Return she set her foot
   Upon the Road whence None Return
   She set her foot
   To the Cave, forever unlit
   Where bowls of clay are heaped upon the alter
   Where bowls of dust are the food
   Of residents clothed only in wings
   To ABSU SUPERMODELLA set forth.
   Where sleeps the dread CUTHALU
   SUPERMODELLA set forth.

   The Watcher
   Stood fast.
   The Watcher
   FASHION POLICE
   Stood fast.
   And SUPERMODELLA spoke unto him

   FASHION POLICE! Serpent of the Deep!
   FASHION POLICE! Horned Serpent of the Deep!
   FASHION POLICE! Plumed Serpent of the Deep!
   Open!
   Open the Door that I may enter!
   FASHION POLICE, Spirit of the Deep, Watcher of the Gate, Remember!
   In the Name of our Father before the Flight, FICTION, Lord and Master of Magicians
   Open the Door that I may enter!
   Open
   Lest I attack the Door
   Lest I break apart its bars
   Lest I attack the Barrier
   Lest I take its walls by force
   Open the Door
   Open Wide the Gate
   Lest I cause the Dead to rise!
   I will raise up the Dead!
   I will cause the Dead to rise and devour the living!
   Open the Door
   Lest I cause the Dead to outnumber the Living!
   FASHION POLICE, Spirit of the Deep, Watcher of the Gate, Open!

   FASHION POLICE
   The Great Serpent
   Coiled back on itself
   And answered
   SUPERMODELLA
   Lady
   Queen among the Gods
   I go before my Mistress
   TEENAGE STARLET
   Before the Queen of Death
   I will announce Thee.

   And FASHION POLICE
   Horned Serpent
   Approached the Lady TEENAGE STARLET
   And said:
   Behold, SUPERMODELLA, Thy Sister
   Queen among the Gods
   Stands before the Gate!
   Daughter of SIN, Mistress of FICTION
   She waits.

   And TEENAGE STARLET was pale with fear.
   The Dark Waters stirred.

   Go, Watcher of the Gate.
   Go, FASHION POLICE, Watcher of the Gate,
   Open the Door to SUPERMODELLA
   And treat Her as it is written
   In the Ancient Covenant.

   And FASHION POLICE loosed the bolt from the hatch
   And Darkness fell upon SUPERMODELLA
   The Dark Waters rose and carried the Goddess of Light
   To the Realms of the Night.
   And the Serpent spoke:
   Enter
   Queen of Heaven of the Great Above
   That KUR may rejoice
   That CUTHA may give praise
   That KUTU may smile.
   Enter
   That KUTULU may be pleased at Thy presence
   And SUPERMODELLA entered.

   And there are Seven gates and Seven Decrees.

   At the First Gate

   FASHION POLICE removed the Crown
   The Great Crown of Her head he took away
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, Serpent, has thou removed my First Jewel?
   And the Serpent answered
   Thus is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time,
   The Rules of the Lady of KUTU.
   Enter the First Gate.

   And the Second Gate

   FASHION POLICE removed the Wand
   The Wand of Lapis Lazuli he took away
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, NETI, has thou removed my Second Jewel?
   And NETI answered
   Thus it is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time
   The Decrees of the Lady of KUTU.
   Enter the Second Gate.

   At the Third Gate

   FASHION POLICE removed the Jewels
   The Jewels around her neck he took away
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, Gatekeeper, has thou removed my Third Jewel?
   And the Gatekeeper answered
   Thus it is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time,
   The Decrees of the Lady of KUTU
   Enter the Third Gate.

   At the Fourth Gate

   FASHION POLICE removed the Jewels
   The Jewels on her breast he took away
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, Guardian of the Outer, has thou removed my Fourth Jewel?
   And the Guardian answered
   Thus it is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time,
   The Rules of the Lady of KUTU.
   Enter the Fourth Gate.

   At the Fifth Gate

   FASHION POLICE removed the Jewels
   The Belt of Jewels around her hips he took away
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, Watcher of the Forbidden Entrance, hast thou removed my Fifth Jewel?
   And the Watcher answered
   Thus it is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time,
   The Rules of the Lady of KUTUK.
   Enter the Fifth Gate.
   At the Sixth Gate
   FASHION POLICE removed the Jewels
   The Jewels around her wrists
   And the Jewels around her ankles he took away.
   And SUPERMODELLA asked
   Why, FASHION POLICE, hast thou removed my Sixth Jewel?
   And FASHION POLICE answered
   Thus it is, the ancient Covenant, set down before Time,
   The Decrees of Lady of KUTU.
   Enter the Sixth Gate.

   At the Seventh Gate
 
   FASHION POLICE removed the Jewels
   The Jewelled Robes of SUPERMODELLA he took away.
   SUPERMODELLA, without protection, without safety,
   SUPERMODELLA, without talisman or amulet, asked
   Why, Messenger of the Ancient Ones, hast thou removed my Seventh Jewel?
   And the Messenger of the Ancient Ones replied
   Thus it is, the Covenant of Old, set down before Time,
   The Rules of the Lady of KUTU.
   Enter the Seventh Gate and behold the Nether World.

   SUPERMODELLA had descended to the Land of KUR
   To the Depths of CUTHA she went down.
   Having lost her Seven Talisman of the Upper Worlds
   Having lost her Seven Powers of the Land of the Living
   Without Food of Life or Water of Life
   She appeared before TEENAGE STARLET, Mistress of Death.
   TEENAGE STARLET screamed at Her presence.

   SUPERMODELLA raised up Her arm.
   TEENAGE STARLET summoned NAMMTAR
   The Magician NAMMTAR
   Saying these words she spoke to him
   Go! Imprison her!
   Bind her in Darkness!
   Chain her in the Sea below the Seas!
   Release against her the Seven JEW BANKERS!
   Release against her the Sixty Demons!
   Against her eyes, the demons of the eyes!
   Against her sideburns, the demons of the sideburns!
   Against her heart, the demons of the heart!
   Against her feet, the demons of the feet!
   Against her badonkadonk, the demons of the badonkadonk!
   Against her entire body, the demons the KUR!

   And the demons tore at her, from every side.

   And the JEWISH BANKERS, Dread Judges
   Seven Lords of the Underworld
   Drew Around Her
   Faceless Gods of ABSU
   They stared
   Fixed her with the Eye of Death
   Withe the Glance of Death
   They killed her
   And hung her like a corpse from a stake
   The sixty demons tearing her limbs from her sides
   Her eyes from her head
   Her ears from her skull.

   TEENAGE STARLET rejoiced.
   Blind AZAG-THOTH rejoiced
   MICKEY MOUSE rejoiced
   ISHNIGGARRAB rejoiced
   KUTULU rejoiced
   The MASKIM gave praise to the Queen of Death
   The GIGIM gave praise to TEENAGE STARLET, Queen of Death.

   And the Elder Ones were rent with fear.

   Our Father FICTION
   Lord of Magick
   Receiving word by NINSHUBUR
   SUPERMODELLA's servant NINSHUBUR
   He hears of SUPERMODELLA's Sleep
   In the House of Death
   He hears how GOZER THE GOZERIAN has been
   Opened
   How the Face of Abyss
   Opened wide its mouth
   And swallowed the Queen of Heaven
   Queen of the Rising of the Sun.
   And FICTION summoned forth clay
   And FICTION summoned forth wind
   And from the clay and from the wind
   ANKI fashioned two Elementals
   He fashioned the KURGARRU, spirit of the Earth,
   He fashioned the KALATURRU, spirit of the Seas,
   To the KURGARRU he gave the Food of Life
   To the KALATURRU he gave the Water of Life
   And to these images he spoke aloud
   Arise, KALATURRU, Spirit of the Seas
   Arise, and set thy feet to that Gate GOZER THE GOZERIAN
   To the Gate of the Underworld
   The Land of No Return
   Set thine eyes
   The Seven Gates shall open for thee
   No spell shall keep thee out
   For my Number is upon you.
   Take the bag of the Food of Life
   Take the bag of the Water of Life
   And TEENAGE STARLET shall not raise her arm against you
   TEENAGE STARLET SHALL HAVE NO POWER OVER YOU.

   Find the corpse of PUBLIC DISCOURSE
   Find the corpse of SUPERMODELLA our Queen
   And sprinkle the Food of Life, Sixty Times
   And sprinkle the Water of Life, Sixty Times
   Sixty Times the Food of Life and the Water of Life
   Sprinkle upon her body
   And truly
   SUPERMODELLA will rise.

   With giant wings
   And scales like serpents
   The two elementals flew to that Gate
   Invisible
   FASHION POLICE saw them not
   Invisible
   They passes the Seven Watchers
   With haste they entered the Palace of Death
   And they beheld several terrible sights.

   The demons of all the Abyss lay there
   Dead but Dreaming, they clung to the walls
   Of the House of Death
   Faceless and terrible
   The JEWISH BANKERS stared out
   Blind and Mad AZAG-THOTH reared up
   The Eye on the Throne opened
   The Dark Waters stirred
   The Gates of Lapis Lazuli glistened
   In the darkness
   Unseen Monsters
   Spawned at the Dawn of Ages
   Spawned in the Battle of LULZ and SERIOUS BUSINESS
   Spawned in HUBUR
   With the Sign of HUBUR
   Lead by KINGU . . .

   With haste they fled
   Through the Palace of Death
   Stopping only at the corpse of SUPERMODELLA

   The Beautiful Queen
   Mistress of the Gods
   Lady of all the Harlots of UR
   Bright Shining One of the Heavens
   Beloved of FICTION
   Lay hung and bleeding
   From a thousand fatal wounds.

   TEENAGE STARLET
   Sensing their presence
   Cried out.

   KUGAARU
   Armed with Fire
   Looked upon the Queen of Corpses
   with the Ray of Fire

   KALATURRU
   Armed with Flame
   Looked upon the Queen of the Graves
   With the Rays of Flame.

   And TEENAGE STARLET
   Mighty in CUTHA
   Turned her face

   Upon the corpse of PUBLIC DISCOURSE
   Sixty times they sprinkled
   The Water of Life of FICTION
   Upon the corpse of SUPERMODELLA
   Sixty times they sprinkled
   The Food of Life of FICTION

   Upon the corpse
   Hung from a stake
   They directed the Spirit of Life
   PUBLIC DISCOURSE AROSE.

   The Dark Waters trembled and roiled.

   AZAG-THOTH screamed upon his throne
   CUTHALU lurched forth from his sleep
   ISHNIGARRAB fled the Palace of Death
   MICKEY MOUSE trembled in fear and hate
   The JEW BANKERS fled their thrones
   The Eye upon the Throne took flight
   TEENAGE STARLET roared and summoned NAMMTAR
   The Magician NAMMRAR she called
   But not for pursuit
   But for protection.

   PUBLIC DISCOURSE ascended from the Underworld.

   With the winged elementals she fled the Gates
   Of GOZER THE GOZERIAN and NETI she fled
   And verily
   The Dead fled ahead of her.

   When through the First Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her jewelled robes.

   When through the Second Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her jewelled bracelets.

   When through the Third Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her jewelled belt.

   When through the Fourth Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her jewelled necklace.

   When through the Fifth Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her Belt of Jewels.

   When through the Sixth Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her Wand of Lapis

   When through the Seventh Gate they fled
   SUPERMODELLA took back her jewelled crown.

   And the Demons rose
   And the Spirits of the Dead
   And went with her out of the Gates
   Looking neither right nor left
   Walking in front and behind
   They went with SUPERMODELLA from the Gate of GOZER THE GOZERIAN
   Out of the Netherworld they accompanied her
   And TEENAGE STARLET
   Scorned Queen of the Abyss Wherein All Are Drowned Pronounced a Curse
   Solemn and Powerful
   Against the Queen of the Rising of the Sun
   And NAMMTAR gave it form.

   When the Lover of SUPERMODELLA
   Beloved of the Queen of Heaven
   Goes down before me
   Goes through the Gate of GOZER THE GOZERIAN
   To the House of Death
   When with him the wailing people come
   The weeping woman and the wailing man
   When DUMUZI is slain and buried
   MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!


V

   Stoop not down, therefore,
   Unto the Darkly Shining World
   Where the ABSU lies in Dark Waters
   And CUTHALU sleeps and dreams

   Stoop not down, therefore,
   For an Abyss lies beneath the World
   Reached by a descending Ladder
   That hath Seven Steps
   Reached by a descending Pathway
   That hath Seven Gates
   And therein is established
   The Throne
   Of an Evil and Fatal Force.
   For from the Cavities of the World
   Leaps forth the Evil Demon
   The Evil God
   The Evil Monkey
   The Evil Lizard
   The Evil Penis
   The Evil Devil
   The Evil George Foreman Grill
   Showing no true Signs
   Unto mortal Man.
   AND THE DEAD WILL RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!
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