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Natto! A Food Report

Started by Nast, September 26, 2010, 06:04:40 AM

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Nast

I lost my natto virginity today.

For those who don't know, natto is a traditional Japanese food consisting of fermented soybeans infamous for its funky odor and texture.



For a giggle, please note that the packaging say "bukkake" in Japanese. Now,  bukkake is also a perfectly innocent word meaning to splash or douse (as in you're supposed to splash your natto with soy sauce before eating it).

But considering that this is what natto looks like, the alternative meaning of "bukkake" is somehow very apropos:



The biggest thing that turns people off about natto is the smell. Curiously, I didn't find it to be all that bad. Based on people's descriptions, I was expecting a putrid, sour odor to issue forth from the package when I opened it. To me it just smelled earthy and a little pungent. Now, I can see how some people say it's reminiscent of sweaty socks. But I think that's an unfairly extreme statement; if natto smells like socks then parmesan cheese smells like vomit and stilton like your great grandmother's moldy basement. IMHO, there are plenty of fermented foods that smell far worse than natto, I think people are just being squeamish because's it's an unfamiliar food.

As for the texture: Amazing! When you stir this stuff up it sticks to your chopsticks, suspended in numerous tiny threads like silly string or a spiders web. Admittedly it's more fun to play with than to actually eat. When you put it in your mouth, well, it's thick and slimy and ropey.

Bukkake!

Its other attributes are far from endearing but what made me dislike natto was the taste. It's very bitter. And not bitter as in the gentle astringency of black tea or the refreshingly clean bitterness of bitter melon; natto's bitterness bloomed in your mouth and lingered on the back of the tongue and made you want a glass of water to wash it away.

Natto, like oysters, is one of those foods that make you wonder who the hell was the first person to try it. I can't imagine people finding the pungent, sticky mass of beans under their bed of rice straw and thinking "Oh boy, I'd like to have this for breakfast everyday!". But natto seems to be very healthy for you and the people who enjoy it really enjoy it. So more power to them.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Jasper

I saw that before in Detroit Metal City, but I didn't understand.  Interesting, but really offputting.

Nast

Interesting but really offputting is an apt description.

I have 2 more packages in refrigerator, so if anyone has any suggestions or natto recipes, I'd be a happy boy.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Suu

From what I understand, even a lot of native Japanese refuse to eat it.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: Nast on September 26, 2010, 06:12:54 AM
Interesting but really offputting is an apt description.

I have 2 more packages in refrigerator, so if anyone has any suggestions or natto recipes, I'd be a happy boy.

Yeah, uh throw it away and just count it as a lesson learned.


Quote from: Doktor Princess on September 27, 2010, 04:25:57 PM
From what I understand, even a lot of native Japanese refuse to eat it.

I can understand that. It smells like pickled turds and looks like snot covered vomit....  I gagged before I could even get it in my mouth.  It is probably one of the top 10 most disgusting things (that is actually considered food) that I have ever seen anyone eat.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Natto is OK with white rice, and a bit of soy sauce. You can throw some egg into the hot rice, as well.

It takes several tries to get used to it, but if you eat it every morning it stops seeming so disgusting.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Sir Squid Diddimus


Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 27, 2010, 07:01:52 PM
Natto is OK with white rice, and a bit of soy sauce. You can throw some egg into the hot rice, as well.

It takes several tries to get used to it, but if you eat it every morning it stops seeming so disgusting.

But I just don't understand why you would torture yourself.  It's not like it's any healthier than other foods or anything like that.  It doesn't cure cancer or anything...

I just have to ask Nigel WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?  :x

:lulz:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Kiaransalee on September 28, 2010, 02:50:52 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 27, 2010, 07:01:52 PM
Natto is OK with white rice, and a bit of soy sauce. You can throw some egg into the hot rice, as well.

It takes several tries to get used to it, but if you eat it every morning it stops seeming so disgusting.

But I just don't understand why you would torture yourself.  It's not like it's any healthier than other foods or anything like that.  It doesn't cure cancer or anything...

I just have to ask Nigel WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?  :x

:lulz:

I see questionable food as a personal challenge.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Dysfunctional Cunt

Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 28, 2010, 07:50:04 PM
Quote from: Kiaransalee on September 28, 2010, 02:50:52 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 27, 2010, 07:01:52 PM
Natto is OK with white rice, and a bit of soy sauce. You can throw some egg into the hot rice, as well.

It takes several tries to get used to it, but if you eat it every morning it stops seeming so disgusting.

But I just don't understand why you would torture yourself.  It's not like it's any healthier than other foods or anything like that.  It doesn't cure cancer or anything...

I just have to ask Nigel WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?  :x

:lulz:

I see questionable food as a personal challenge.

Yes, I had noticed that about you!!!  I have to assume it (natto) eventually just burns out your taste buds?

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Kiaransalee on September 28, 2010, 07:52:58 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 28, 2010, 07:50:04 PM
Quote from: Kiaransalee on September 28, 2010, 02:50:52 PM
Quote from: The Lord and Lady Omnibus Fuck on September 27, 2010, 07:01:52 PM
Natto is OK with white rice, and a bit of soy sauce. You can throw some egg into the hot rice, as well.

It takes several tries to get used to it, but if you eat it every morning it stops seeming so disgusting.

But I just don't understand why you would torture yourself.  It's not like it's any healthier than other foods or anything like that.  It doesn't cure cancer or anything...

I just have to ask Nigel WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?  :x

:lulz:

I see questionable food as a personal challenge.

Yes, I had noticed that about you!!!  I have to assume it (natto) eventually just burns out your taste buds?

No; it's like any other fermented food product, you just get used to the taste after a while.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Nast

I like how natto's a food that can never be good; at best it can be made tolerable.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Rev. Dr. Narot

Quote from: Nast on September 26, 2010, 06:04:40 AM
I lost my natto virginity today.

For those who don't know, natto is a traditional Japanese food consisting of fermented soybeans infamous for its funky odor and texture.



For a giggle, please note that the packaging say "bukkake" in Japanese. Now,  bukkake is also a perfectly innocent word meaning to splash or douse (as in you're supposed to splash your natto with soy sauce before eating it).

But considering that this is what natto looks like, the alternative meaning of "bukkake" is somehow very apropos:





The biggest thing that turns people off about natto is the smell. Curiously, I didn't find it to be all that bad. Based on people's descriptions, I was expecting a putrid, sour odor to issue forth from the package when I opened it. To me it just smelled earthy and a little pungent. Now, I can see how some people say it's reminiscent of sweaty socks. But I think that's an unfairly extreme statement; if natto smells like socks then parmesan cheese smells like vomit and stilton like your great grandmother's moldy basement. IMHO, there are plenty of fermented foods that smell far worse than natto, I think people are just being squeamish because's it's an unfamiliar food.

As for the texture: Amazing! When you stir this stuff up it sticks to your chopsticks, suspended in numerous tiny threads like silly string or a spiders web. Admittedly it's more fun to play with than to actually eat. When you put it in your mouth, well, it's thick and slimy and ropey.

Bukkake!

Its other attributes are far from endearing but what made me dislike natto was the taste. It's very bitter. And not bitter as in the gentle astringency of black tea or the refreshingly clean bitterness of bitter melon; natto's bitterness bloomed in your mouth and lingered on the back of the tongue and made you want a glass of water to wash it away.

Natto, like oysters, is one of those foods that make you wonder who the hell was the first person to try it. I can't imagine people finding the pungent, sticky mass of beans under their bed of rice straw and thinking "Oh boy, I'd like to have this for breakfast everyday!". But natto seems to be very healthy for you and the people who enjoy it really enjoy it. So more power to them.


Every now and then, I get really lonesome and miss my ex from Japan. Then, I remember waking up to the stench of Natto every morning, and I remember why I'm just fooling myself. Foul and filthy, I did the Fugu thing, but 3 years of life together and you couldn't have paid me to eat Natto. Ugh.
"The only person I hate more than you, is myself, asshole."

Jasper

To their credit, the Japanese are able to tell that cheese smells like body odor. 

I can't.

Nast

I think cheese is actually a really bizarre food, but Westerners are just used to it.

I mean, it's the coagulated liquid secretions of the mammary glands of mammals, variously aged and fermented.
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."