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Messages - Planeswalker

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Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« on: August 05, 2017, 01:04:06 pm »
I posted about our “little guest” last week in the Open Bar Tread.

We think our little guest was a female House Sparrow, and my wife named her Bernie Birdie.

Here’s a picture of Bernie Birdie, taken just before we released her to our backyard yesterday afternoon. She was flying around quite well inside our patio, so we fed her one last time, took her outside, and placed her on the lawn.

We thought she would hang around our backyard for a while, but she hopped around a little, then flew over to hide under a neighbor’s deck. Then, after a few more minutes, she took off, flew all the way across the street, and disappeared into a high, thick privacy hedge.

In all, my wife took care of her for nine days.

two years ago, i was stranded outside of kiel back in my home country.
around that time i got an old friend of mine to leave the clusterfuck that is our hometown: well the town is not the problem, it's quite pretty, but the people most certainly were... not conductive to further personal growth.

so she lived with me in this nice country side house for a few months, getting on track as i was. like a support group for misfits.

anyhow. some day she picked up a crow which had fallen out of the nest and tried to nurse it back up; ultimately she got overwhelmed (lots of poop in her room, no money for food, etc).
so we teamed up. obviously i fell in love with the bird, even though i simply tried to teach it simple survival skills where food doesn't get mushed and put into your throat and where bushes may shake during a storm. how could i not fall in love though, with everything that has happened(a different tale, long gone, so whatever)

this video is the last i saw of Edda after about six weeks of trying to teach her independence. that day i found her on the roof above my balcony, soaked by the night's rain, so i dried her in a towel as always, prepared breakfast while she sat on my shoulder as usual, fed her a bit, made her eat the rest alone, and finally ... watched her get ready to tackle the world like the crazed ball of fluffy inspiration that she was.

to this day, i miss the damn bird, but i know it was the best choice for all of us.

Principia Discussion / Return
« on: August 05, 2017, 11:58:13 am »
... i do not know if this is the right subforum, please move me around if needed ...

maybe some of you remember me. it was a long and crazy ride across this flying rock, years passed, countries came and went, but i remember you, i remember how you set the path, for me to become whatever this strange creature is now, aproaching the thirty and four. how i found a path that doesn't involve depression and perpetual trauma, self-deceipt and inflated ego. how i found a way for my own absurdity and probably madness to brighten nights and create meaning in the meaningless. (and yet, i continue to struggle with these things, i guess it won't be fun without it, but i learnt how to struggle better, partially thanks to you folks so just take the damn compliment and let's move on)

so a late thank you to all of you, fond memories of vikings invading, of many a stick being thrown in wheels, mine or yours, just to find that quick stop to rethink it all. thank you. for whatever you did to my brain ten years ago.
so i went criss-cross this continent, living up north, trying to do the goddess' work, yet i am again stuck in the shrapnel sorting, ... maybe that is why i return? at least i found my passion when it comes to making ends meet. never again the cubicle, it's gonna be molten metal every day any day until i expire. you can take the tig torch from my cold dead hands, or preferably bury me with the machine and call it a day. just dont forget to plant all the catnip instead of flowers on my grave.

anyhow, i digress again and it will take me a few days to read up on what's happened / happening. back to lurking as per usual, dont mind the wyrd man. i bring old writings that i may need to be polished up a bit, you know.... contemplate 2 hours whether or not to put a comma there. or just scrap the whole thing to make something new cause it's old and stupid thinking.

special shoutout to cramulus. i silently read your tumblings for ... all these years.
and i made it a point to distribute the "classics" as i remember them to everyone i met along the path that exhibited bouts of free thinking. so while i was gone, you were never in this life.

 :lulz: fav smiley of all times. i gotta go laugh at myselves for a moment here. feeling this weird fuzzy thing like coming home after a long journey.
make of this what you want. i know you will.

until very soon. i have reading to do.

in anima, libertas - in omnibus, amor et hilaritas

Apple Talk / Re: Self and the New Year [videos]
« on: January 30, 2012, 12:01:18 pm »

The Illusion of the Ego - Alan Watts

“We must abandon completely the notion of blaming the past for any kind of situation we’re in and reverse our thinking and see that the past always flows back form the present. That now is the creative point of life. So you see its like the idea of forgiving somebody, you change the meaning of the past by doing that…Also watch the flow of music. The melody as its expressed is changed by notes that come later. Just as the meaning of a sentence…you wait till later to find out what the sentence means…The present is always changing the past.”

Here's the deal.

I'll leave, but I don't want to go with the rest of them.

I second that.

Not proposing to go with you either.

Please don't get me wrong - from what i gathered over the years you'll be better company than most folks - but it's just too risky starting a space odyssey with someone you don't really know at all.

Unless you plan to assemble a gang of weird space pirates so we can prey on the rest of the lot that leaves orbit. We could leave a few days early and catch them unawares.
Count me in on that.

« on: January 13, 2012, 10:36:15 am »
I'd vote for him. Sensible policies for a sensible future...

Apple Talk / Re: musings about the oook inside
« on: January 13, 2012, 10:35:14 am »
Thanks for taking part of this thread guys, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts.

I don't have that much to add, but let's see ... writing in the sand and waiting for the sea to wash it away? Why? It's probably really metaphorical for all kinds of "impermanence" related whatnots, but I already do so many useless things ... Or do you write really embarrassing things? Or is it maybe something that you just happen to like for no reason and I don't have to get it?

Maybe if I wrote it sideways so the sentence goes into the sea and it spells "THE BODIES ARE BURIED AT T..." ?

i do like the idea of writing weird things; but then the outcome depends so much on other people coming by to see it. often i end up far off the usual tracks, it is there - away from everything else - that i can work in peace. next time at a more public place i shall remember though... =)

i recently came across andy goldsworthy's "rivers and tides" and although he seems to be kind of a nut, i do love his work, it reminds me a lot about the things i do outside.

how to explain? creating something out of rocks or sticks and leafs : it's tedious, often breaks down in between when the balance isn't right or the wind comes around fucking with you. watching the natural flow of things tear it down bit by bit after it's done, well - the final result may seem useless, but the process itself does not (at least to me). i get a feeling out of it that just won't come in the urban jungle or when i get creative at home.

the stuff below took me the better of an afternoon; the whole structure fell down numerous times and my back felt the weight from the big plate in the middle for a couple of days. but watching the sun set as the water came crawling back, slowly drowing the whole thing, watching the waves rise without destroying it, and then finally taking it down. i don't know man... i enjoy this kinda shit.

Apple Talk / Re: Self and the New Year [videos]
« on: January 10, 2012, 10:00:42 pm »
somehow i finally clicked play on the streaming pad thingy...
it rendered me speechless, only to sit here, listening to it over and over to take in every little nuance.

(especially since it reminds me so perfectly of an attempted, yet sadly-failed process from last year, which ultimately brought my last relationship to an end)

Whenever I look at you, I do not see you.
I see an origami of your age, your job, your class, your gender, your sexual orientation, your race, your nationality, your religion, your beliefs, your thoughts, your past, your future.
Labels upon labels.  Conditionings upon conditionings.  Time upon time.  To look at you is not be with you, but to relate with the images, ideals, and impressions I have made of you.
To look at you is not to interact with you, but to interpret you.  Sizing you up.  Fitting you in a category.  Molding you after my thoughts.  Turning you into an object of my interest.  Comparing you to my standards.  Breaking you into analyzeable parts.
Transforming you into something compatible with my beliefs.

To look at you is to get trapped in the skin of our mental projects about each other.

We read the script of the conventions and the traditions of our society, performing an addictive, convenient drama.
A persistent pattern of relating, indelibly imprinted in deep recesses of our minds.
To look at you is to separate myself from you.  I am your other and you are mine.  Mine for you have become something I can own, and therefore I can control.
As my other, you are a prisoner of my expectations and demands.  To look at you is as vindictive, persistent, deceptive, and subtle as its identical twin.  Look at me.  To look at you is to kill you.

I'm tired of being your murderer.
I resign.
Now I am just here.
With totally naked eyes looking beyond you, connecting with you not with words, thought, nor beliefs, but with the brilliance of the burning silence of our unmediated presence.  And in this space I listen to the melody, smell the fragrance, relish the rapture, and feel the warmth of what you are as you unfold.
And not as how you were folded by your conditionings, by my thoughts, by my desires, by my interpretations.

Apple Talk / Re: Self and the New Year [videos]
« on: January 07, 2012, 10:23:11 am »
Holy fuck Cram, this is a treasure trove. ..

Ug is just fantastic,
 some of the videos made me either laugh my ass off
  or send me into hours of quiet contemplation.
Crossjumped to "Life's a videogame",
 again I'm sitting there - rethinking, reprogramming,
  blowing my mind, then sucking it, then blowing it again.

This will take some time to read, watch, tear apart, digest, ???

High Weirdness / Re: Obama went to Mars for the CIA
« on: January 04, 2012, 09:46:35 pm »
I think that depends on if they're Federally black, or just Locally black.

you just really

I don't even

no words



You sir, lack sufficient FREEDOM™.

 :horrormirth: 2

Apple Talk / Re: Spagbook
« on: January 04, 2012, 06:15:19 pm »
it's been a while... also: proper viking mode has been activated last year - happy times!

Apple Talk / Re: Nigel: You and I are going to make a FORTUNE.
« on: January 04, 2012, 05:58:17 pm »
The term "legally black" still doesn't fit in my head. How can this be? My european mind cannot compute.
I mean, the fuck? The fucking fuckedy fuckfuck!?

I heard and read about a lot of the shit you got going across the big pond, but this...  :horrormirth:

Apple Talk / Re: musings about the oook inside
« on: January 04, 2012, 05:23:28 pm »
The beast is relentless. It wants to play, it wants to rage, it wants to smash things and throw shit and it will not be denied. Sure you can fight it. You can deny it but know that it'll never give up until it gets what it needs and if you plan on denying it forever it will become increasingly hard to keep control. So don't.

Give the monkey what it wants. Throw the dog a bone. But do it when it suits you. Loose the leash just enough to pacify it. If you fight then it's a contest. One of you will win. One of you will lose. It's not about fighting. It's about the smart one taking control and establishing authority. Punishment and denial may not be the key to success in this endeavour. Maybe try reward based incentive.

Well put, well put indeed.

Ooook has its/his/her (in the following male for simplification during personal reflection, yet still meaning all three) place on the grand council of doing.
We value his input & his powers, just like we'd do with any other member of this council.
For a time he was ignored, and lashed out when he could - mostly at us since we denied uncontrolled outbursts towards the external world. We were treating him like a lowly beast, and that didn't work out either. For deep within, as you said Pent, he won't be denied, at least not for long.
These days, we came to embrace him and love him.
Often we focus on the destructive sides of Ooook, but he's also a giver of great physical strength in times of need, guardian of personal space in the face of threats and a passionate lover (or so we heard), among other things.
There's an infinite side to every coin.

enjoying a deepening of understanding

Apple Talk / Re: musings about the oook inside
« on: January 04, 2012, 09:56:29 am »
As for non-detachment; i find it a hard thing to uphold once you link your life with other humans and plans are made and worked on. At least in its pure form.

Man, I have the opposite problem -- I'm too detached  :p

How do you start giving a shit about things again?

Ah fuck, that question has been staring at me all this time. And an answer didn't come.

I slept over it, and still... I don't really know how it happened. Maybe I never fully stopped giving a shit, what with my youthful ignorance?? I should have left this screen hours ago, but the question stares at me and demands an answer, or at least - an opinion.

"Things" in general I can stay detached from, or detach myselves from if it seems like it will drag me off course. Same with people, especially my family and its endless chase for material things.

And I don't give a shit about that golden carrot the machine dangles in front of me. I see the string, the pole it hangs from, I know we are not meant to reach it, just chase it. So I stopped giving a shit about it, which alienated me from the majority of people. And then it's easy to stay detached from them.

It's even necessary in the face of all the :horrormirth: - but there's so many fantastic things out there still, including the last remaining humans.

How could I not give a shit about these great things in life?
As an example: When i jump through the forests here, off the normal paths... ending up at the beach to stack stones on top of each other, writing weird shit into the sand and then waiting for the sea to come back to claim it all. That's when I rekindle with my love for this planet. And it's hard to witness how humanity as a whole treats this planet, willingly or not. I can't give too much a shit about it, but can I give no shit at all?

Yet words are wind. Our doing defines our existence (Carroll really did a number on my headspace it seems). If I don't give a shit about all, I don't give a shit about myself. And I've been down that road, it's no fun and leads to self-destruction sooner or later. And I like fun, so I give a shit about myself. And if I give a shit about myself, I also gotta give a shit about this world and the people I meet for it's all a reflection of the internal too. And who's to say I can't do some good deeds here and there. Take all your given, give everything you can, yadda yadda.

To paraphrase a wise spag:

The easy part

is not giving a shit

about all the shit you cannot change anyways.

the hard part----------
is learning the difference
      between accepting the things you cannot change
               and doing something about the things you can change.

(the trick,
I think,
is to start doing
            cum amor et hilaritas, in omnibus)

Principia Discussion / Re: The Erisian Hook
« on: January 04, 2012, 07:30:07 am »
I always struggle to explain it to the people who ask...
In the end I settle for a few properties depending on who i am talking to, in hope to spark up curiosity. It doesn't really go all that well in most cases.
Can we really nail water to the wall?

1) is it really a religion? i wouldn't call it one. too many symbols have been attached to that word. instead i'd call it a frame of mind for the neophile. "if you like to do new things, explore new thoughts and experiences, then this might be for you" usually it doesn't take long to find out if the person you just met is neophile or neophobe .

2) is there belief? yes, but as a tool of the mind.
personally: if i feel like having a deity in my life, why an old geezer? screw that, i will go with crazy hotness coupled with what keeps us alive on this planet: the big fucking ball of fire in the sky. i end that sentence with a smiling RA! (semi-shouted with a dash of thunder in the voice).

3) since eris is chaos and chaos is where everything starts, all other gods are just aspects of her. so everyone who believes in one god or another is already worshiping eris, albeit indirectly. there was a great thread on this over at MW. maybe we can distill some of that into a short form?

4) confusion is a desireable state of mind. for in a state of confusion it's obvious your usual thought patterns don't work. otherwise you wouldn't be confused. it's the starting point for any new thought, otherwise the confusion will never end. Discordians tend to embrace confusion instead of fighting it.

5) we're a bunch of freaks. and we love to have fun. life's too short to not have as much fun as possible. eris loves fun too.

Having nothing to do with hierarchies, mundane or spiritual, we are not out to prove anything - except that status is nonsense, as when we lightly bestow lofty titles on one another and ordain each other Zenarchs. Our purpose is, rather, to understand ourselves, our whole beings, and to "remember" something so simple that it tends to elude classification and satisfactory definition.

I seem find a lot of useful bits in Thornley's text about games. But I gotta put on my blue pants now and get some work done at the harbour.

drinking his morning coffee and taking this into the day for further pondering

Apple Talk / Re: Self and the New Year [videos]
« on: January 03, 2012, 08:39:43 pm »
Thanks for the links Cram.

Mindfulness takes time to integrate into the doing.

When Adyashanti sais, "allow it to happen" at the end, it reminds me of a passage about 'push and pull' i read last year. Pushing with full force will only get us so far, but at some point we can enter a state where we allow the universe (for lack of better words) to pull us, or maybe we pull our selves? - simply by letting go and allowing it to happen; again simple doesn't mean easy.

And mindfulness is not a state of being for me, it's more of a state of doing, a certain type of attribute that can go with all doing. Continued practice makes it easier to attain, and longer to uphold.

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