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Apple Zone / Re: Surprise: Dalek isn't on meth, neither a retard
« on: May 19, 2013, 04:31:55 pm »
"Muahahaha! I presented myself as a retard druggie, and now those FOOLS actually think I'm retarded and on drugs!"
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News:
MysticWicks endorsement: "In other words, Discordianism, like postmodernism, means never having to say your sorry."
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2
Apple Zone / Re: How to Win Enemies and Influence People
« on: May 17, 2013, 08:04:21 pm »
You already know this, Roger, since it's exactly the thing you were sent out there to talk about
but I think it's worth stating directly
Because of what you do every day, people who might have died under someone else's leadership are alive. Because someone had enough sense to recognize the value of what you do, more workers will continue to be alive, when someone else's negligence might have killed them. Your direct influence has helped take a little bit of ugliness out of the world, because you decided to give a shit about human life and put in the work to help preserve it.
I'm all hopped up on brain pills, but I think I got my point across.
but I think it's worth stating directly
Because of what you do every day, people who might have died under someone else's leadership are alive. Because someone had enough sense to recognize the value of what you do, more workers will continue to be alive, when someone else's negligence might have killed them. Your direct influence has helped take a little bit of ugliness out of the world, because you decided to give a shit about human life and put in the work to help preserve it.
I'm all hopped up on brain pills, but I think I got my point across.
3
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Free Market Privileged Circumcision While Hopped Up on Magickle Drugs Thread
« on: May 17, 2013, 07:46:07 pm »I think that people ought to fend for themselves. We don't need government telling us what to do, and if babies aren't smart enough to avoid circumcision they don't deserve health insurance. Intellectual property is survival of the fittest, each man for himself! If you don't want people to use it don't put the info out there. The government works hard enough at suppressing freedom of expression and blackballs certain news stories so the truth can't be told, but certain chemicals can expand your consciousness sufficiently to break your dependence on conventional media outlets and help you to self-actualize your exponential realities.
People can't help it, on account of fluoride fucking up their chakras.
If weren't for all the chemicals backing up our chi, our species might evolve beyond masturbation.
But masturbation charges teh sigilz!
You can't achieve Crystalline Consciousness of the 8th Circuit without charged sigilz. You just CAN'T. Don't waste my time asking me why; do your own research.
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Aneristic Illusions / Re: Cutting it off
« on: May 17, 2013, 07:43:18 pm »
Although I have no interest in the discussion, it's pretty amusing how fantastically effective it is for trollbaiting.
The topic of circumcision lives in this magical space where the combined insecurities of parents/potential parents and of men about their penises are put in the same blender. It's a two-for-one with an amazing positive feedback effect: rattle the bars on the shared wall between these two kinds of insecurity, and they'll flip the fuck out and start rattling each others' bars for you.
As for the actual topic and the monumentally overdone discussion around it? Boring as fuck. Every possible point has been chewed over a million times. But I think it's a classic case study of a topic that people can't seem to help themselves about.
It's a bucket of gasoline in a room where everyone has a lighter.
The topic of circumcision lives in this magical space where the combined insecurities of parents/potential parents and of men about their penises are put in the same blender. It's a two-for-one with an amazing positive feedback effect: rattle the bars on the shared wall between these two kinds of insecurity, and they'll flip the fuck out and start rattling each others' bars for you.
As for the actual topic and the monumentally overdone discussion around it? Boring as fuck. Every possible point has been chewed over a million times. But I think it's a classic case study of a topic that people can't seem to help themselves about.
It's a bucket of gasoline in a room where everyone has a lighter.
5
Apple Zone / Re: Techno Viking Lawsuit!
« on: May 16, 2013, 08:10:46 pm »
Has anyone really been far even as decided to sue even go want to do lawsuit more copyright?
SERIOUS QUESTION U GUISE
SERIOUS QUESTION U GUISE
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Apple Zone / Re: This game is awesome!
« on: May 10, 2013, 04:57:24 am »
I've been stuck at Hell for a while now. I really haven't been giving it my all, though.
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Apple Zone / Re: DARE ME?
« on: May 10, 2013, 12:45:39 am »THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON YOU, ALPHAPANCE
A COUPLE DAYS AT JIZZFEST IS NO EXCUSE TO GO SLAPPING YOUR TUMESCENT HORRORSCHLONG ALL OVER THE FORUM
oh my fucking god i need to sleep, i'm so sorry
i voted for "shit" because SHIT
After getting a proper night's sleep, I feel obligated to redact this statement. It is clearly inappropriate.
I should have written WONDERSCHLONG, not horrorschlong. What the hell was I even thinking.
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Apple Zone / Re: Techno Viking Lawsuit!
« on: May 09, 2013, 09:56:44 pm »
You're damn right it does!
Techno Viking is an Internet cultural treasure. This lawsuit makes me sad.
Techno Viking is an Internet cultural treasure. This lawsuit makes me sad.
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Apple Zone / Re: CREEPING PINKDOM
« on: May 09, 2013, 08:15:52 pm »
Yikes. Society of the Spectacle, much?
10
Apple Zone / Hyperbole and a Half: motherfucking UPDATE
« on: May 09, 2013, 03:42:41 pm »
You're damn right this gets its own thread: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html
It's a follow-up about depression, and it's just as relevant as the previous one.
It's a follow-up about depression, and it's just as relevant as the previous one.
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Apple Zone / Re: A Collection of Nightmares
« on: May 08, 2013, 09:10:54 pm »
Definitely nailed the "nightmare" feel. A few threads of coherency running through an otherwise disconnected series of uniquely upsetting moments.
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Apple Zone / Re: Open Bar VII: written by George Lucas!
« on: May 08, 2013, 05:35:04 pm »
You're right. It would do more harm than good.
Really, it would sort of be like being the guy who blurts out the punchline in the middle of a joke with a really long build-up. It wouldn't make any sense without the required context, and everyone will just be sour on the whole joke
Really, it would sort of be like being the guy who blurts out the punchline in the middle of a joke with a really long build-up. It wouldn't make any sense without the required context, and everyone will just be sour on the whole joke
13
Apple Zone / Re: The REAL Election for Your New Mexico
« on: May 08, 2013, 05:32:01 pm »god damn it
i actually voted in this one, because my religion demands that a vote sanctioned by TGRR is more important than a vote which includes TGRR on the ballot, no matter how much it pains me
we'll suffer in the desert for forty years searching for the promised punchline, while our horrible Lizard God rains down just enough humiliating "miracles" to keep us alive
To save on labor costs, we're not going to bother taking the "miracles" out of the 55 gallon drums first, either.
MAN CANNOT LIVE ON BEES ALONE
BUT HE CAN SURE AS FUCK MAKE SOME CREATIVE ATTEMPTS
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Apple Zone / Re: The REAL Election for Your New Mexico
« on: May 08, 2013, 05:28:53 pm »
god damn it
i actually voted in this one, because my religion demands that a vote sanctioned by TGRR is more important than a vote which includes TGRR on the ballot, no matter how much it pains me
we'll suffer in the desert for forty years searching for the promised punchline, while our horrible Lizard God rains down just enough humiliating "miracles" to keep us alive
i actually voted in this one, because my religion demands that a vote sanctioned by TGRR is more important than a vote which includes TGRR on the ballot, no matter how much it pains me
we'll suffer in the desert for forty years searching for the promised punchline, while our horrible Lizard God rains down just enough humiliating "miracles" to keep us alive
15
Apple Zone / Re: DARE ME?
« on: May 08, 2013, 05:24:34 pm »
THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON YOU, ALPHAPANCE
A COUPLE DAYS AT JIZZFEST IS NO EXCUSE TO GO SLAPPING YOUR TUMESCENT HORRORSCHLONG ALL OVER THE FORUM
oh my fucking god i need to sleep, i'm so sorry
i voted for "shit" because SHIT
A COUPLE DAYS AT JIZZFEST IS NO EXCUSE TO GO SLAPPING YOUR TUMESCENT HORRORSCHLONG ALL OVER THE FORUM
oh my fucking god i need to sleep, i'm so sorry
i voted for "shit" because SHIT