Messages

31

Literate Chaotic / Re: Unofficial What are you Reading Thread?

« on: June 09, 2013, 04:22:10 pm »

Just picked up the first book of the Malazan series. This should tide me over until R.S. Bakker finally cranks out The Unholy Consult and finishes his series.

Let me know what you think.

IMO, the series doesn't really pick up until Memories of Ice.  I do like the first two novels, but the third and fourth ones put it into proper context, and illustrate just how conniving and cunning the gods, ascendants, generals, mages and rulers of the series really are.

Thanks for the tip. I'll try to stick it out until then if the first two don't really grab me.

32

Discordian Recipes / Re: HOLY FUCKING SRIRACHA ICE CREAM SANDWICHES!

« on: June 09, 2013, 03:25:36 pm »

Okay, I didn't say anything at the time this was posted because I was ashamed of myself...

But that is too many goddamn flavors. I get that it's Thai and the flavors of basil, coconut, peanut, and sriracha go pretty well together in most cases, but I couldn't hack this weird freakazoid food monstrosity. Even minus the chocolate, it's too much.

This is no one's fault but my own, since I have never enjoyed the taste or texture of coconut except as fresh raw chunks carved out of the shell. On anything else, especially in shaved form, I find it distracting and unpleasant. Some things cooked with coconut milk are tolerable, if it's subtle enough.

So this recipe has broken me. It's a New Food Thing that I would be less-than-enthused to try.

33

Apple Zone / Re: Open Bar MMXIV^2: Solace of Quantum

« on: June 09, 2013, 03:00:39 pm »

Also, that sounds pretty incredibly kick-ass, ECH.

In similar stories of unusual jobs in odd places, there's a sliver of a chance that I might land work for 4 months out of the year in either the Arctic or Antarctic, doing research assistance work. Far from guaranteed, but it would involve doing remote sensing work and that gives me a happy.

Missile silos

EXACTLY

I mean, I know that's where they keep the alien goo and other weird shit, but it's obviously been leaking to the surface for YEARS and the locals seem fine. Perfectly fine.

34

Apple Zone / Re: Open Bar MMXIV^2: Solace of Quantum

« on: June 09, 2013, 02:55:35 pm »

IT'S FUCKING 113F OUT THERE.

STAYING IN THE HOUSE.

NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE.

You are only adding to the mystery of why people live there.

And ABOVE ground, no less. With houses and lawns and driveways like it's some kind of normal place.

35

Literate Chaotic / Re: Unofficial What are you Reading Thread?

« on: June 09, 2013, 02:50:41 pm »

Just picked up the first book of the Malazan series. This should tide me over until R.S. Bakker finally cranks out The Unholy Consult and finishes his series.

36

Literate Chaotic / Re: Unofficial What are you Reading Thread?

« on: June 08, 2013, 10:26:46 pm »

Pratchett has also written something like 2,732 freaking books. It would be a miracle if they were all golden.

Incidentally, I liked the Rincewind books I've read quite a lot, but I suppose it was just new to me back in high school.

37

RPG Ghetto / Re: A little handy gaming advice #2: How to hold a group together.

« on: May 31, 2013, 01:55:55 pm »

I want to play in a Dok game now

Thing is, it isn't brain surgery.  Everyone is there to have FUN, to escape for a while into a place where you can solve your problems by smashing them flat or burninating them, whatever. 

When it becomes "come worship my campaign, miserable peons" or "Let me make this as miserable as the real world", why bother?

So you leave your ego at the door (to a degree, you don't want to not give a shit about what you deliver), and you sit down, and you arrange some FUN for your players.  Every group is different, so that DOESN'T mean "give them everything they want", but it DOES mean "give them the sort of adventure they want".  My groups tend to want heroic combat, Indiana Jones Ginormous rolling boulder traps, etc.  Other groups like intrigue, I understand. 

But the point is, no matter what the group is after, it's the DM's job to provide that for 3-6 hours a week, and also to have fun doing it.

Oooooh lordy THIS. It's something I worry about doing myself as a DM, mostly the former mistake, because I get very caught up in imaginary settings, but I haven't really inflicted that pain on any players because I've DM'd so few sessions.

I always try to think about what a rule, especially a combat rule, will actually result in the real-life players DOING. As in, are they engaged in using their game skills and real-life thinking to overcome a challenge, or are they grinding away with yet another "realistic" simulationist rule thrown on top? The answer will vary somewhat depending on the player preferences, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

I also recently came to an epiphany about "story-focused" campaigns. Most of the time they are horsecock, because they focus on the story that the DM is babbling their players, resulting in NPC Theater and bored player (unless the DM is a phenomenal storyteller, which is possible but rare, I think).

What "story-focused" should mean is a focus on the story the PLAYERS will be able to tell after the game is done. What's the story that THEY will be able to tell in the first-person active voice?

38

Apple Zone / Re: Hee hee hee! I wish I'd found this last August.

« on: May 31, 2013, 12:23:48 am »

Yeah, it's sort of framed as not only avoiding the problem, but actually offended that someone might want to address the problem instead of sharing in their pain, both immediate and existential. Plus, the use of language that tries to deflect away from the problem in favor of moping ("I just don't know if it's ever going to stop").

I'd kind of like to see how this skit would look with the genders flipped.

39

Apple Zone / Re: Dream a Little Dream With Me, part II

« on: May 30, 2013, 08:41:12 pm »

"...The primary failure mode in Afghanistan was the same as the primary failure mode in Iraq:  Our picture of the war is distorted by factors that exist only in the American mind.  We, as a nation, bought our own hype...That Iraq was a war of liberation.  To the Iraqis, it was an invasion by a foreign power.  In Afghanistan, WE are trying to win "hearts and minds", and THEY are angling for control of the income from the heroin trade.  We have our thumb in that, but we refuse to accept it as a primary objective."

I particularly like this bit.

We can't win the war because the enemy isn't fighting the same war.

40

RPG Ghetto / Re: A little handy gaming advice #2: How to hold a group together.

« on: May 30, 2013, 08:37:38 pm »

  Pretty much exactly what happened.

41

RPG Ghetto / Re: A little handy gaming advice #2: How to hold a group together.

« on: May 30, 2013, 07:20:15 pm »

Sometimes. Other (read: most) times the monster was a bullshit Far Realm monstrosity with a zillion hit points and damage reduction anyway, so he didn't need to give it the saving throw. He wasn't a player-killer DM, but the boss monsters tended to be rather uncreative.

That was another thing that quickly became bullshit. The Far Realm is called "Far" for a goddamn reason. It ain't the Realm That's Three Doors Down The Street On The Left, so why the fucknut are we running into Lovecraftian freaks every other adventure at like 6th level? Oh, because your imagination appears to no longer consider anything that isn't an aberration to be a cool enough encounter anymore, that's right.

Meh. I've been tearing this guy a new asshole all afternoon now. I should be fair and point out that we did play with him semi-regularly for a year and a half, and usually enjoyed ourselves well enough.

*bump*

This.

The idea of using EXOTIC, RARE-ASS monsters ALL THE TIME is about as imaginative as the low-functioning geek who says "I WANNA PLAY A DROW, BECAUSE THAT'S CAPS-LOCK FOR COOL!".   Beats coming up with an original idea for a standard character, right?  Same thing with the Far Realms bullshit...Why put any thought into the campaign, when you can make it "interesting" with YET ANOTHER uber-tough, uber-rare monster.  Yawn.

Did I ever mention that this DM once ran a session for total newbie players through a Far Realm jaunt? Because that happened.


When his imagination was on-point and not up his own ass, this guy produced some really interesting stuff. In fact, the most awesome thing he ever GM'd was a rules-light, homebrew horror-themed campaign that wasn't D&D. Those were two of the best Halloweens I spent at college.

When he was running D&D and decided to do things "his way" is when things got stupid.

42

Apple Zone / Re: Dream a Little Dream With Me, part II

« on: May 30, 2013, 05:08:00 pm »

Ack.

I'm surprised he made it as far as Colonel with that much reality coming out of his mouth. I guess he fell just far enough on the side of "effective" to make up for his lack of delusion.

43

Apple Zone / Re: Hee hee hee! I wish I'd found this last August.

« on: May 30, 2013, 01:14:08 pm »

  I usually have a detached, utilitarian approach to my own thought processes and problems. Probably because I was treated for clinical depression at a young age and learned to see emotions as being separate from my ego, as something that could harm or impair me, rather than as a part of me to be validated.

So I'm ALWAYS looking for the nail, when sometimes there is none. Or I've convinced myself that I took care of the nail, so there obviously can't be another one that's bothering me.

44

Apple Zone / Re: Portland Memorial Mausoleum

« on: May 28, 2013, 02:34:36 am »

A dead-people's version of the Winchester House? Sweet!

45

Apple Zone / Re: ATTN, OLD SCHOOL PDers

« on: May 28, 2013, 02:12:38 am »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6rkXGikuNA

This is for you.  Stuff it in your optic nerves.  Not terribly safe for work.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

aaaghgaaaghghfff