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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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16
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 15, 2018, 02:15:16 am »
Alternate history in which Jesus is not crucified and as a result Christianity ends with a Heaven's Gate style mass suicide a few years later. Possibly the story is recounted by Judas, who has backed out at the last minute and in this timeline is the movement's main chronicler.


EDIT:
Another idea:

Yesterday someone at work brought up how in a lot of action movies there are an excessive number of camera cuts in the fight scenes. Presumably this is to disguise the fact that the scene is badly choreographed and/or that the actors aren't very good at fake fighting. I think it would be funny to take this to an extreme. Don't pre-choreograph the fights at all. Just bring each actor in seperately and have them randomly wave their arms around in front of a green-screen and piece the fight scenes together with clever editing.

17
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 11, 2018, 03:17:41 pm »
Sesame Street as a horror film. All the regular characters are Count Von Count's hypnotized night-slaves. The friendliness of the place is to put non-locals off their guard. The various monsters and things aren't a normal thing in the world, they're a paranormal occurrence limited to this one street and to ones like it in other cities. The story focuses on an outsider or outsiders who wander(s) in and is welcomed but subtly prevented from leaving, and things gradually gat weirder and weirder and eventually at the end their throat(s) get(s) ripped out.

18
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 10, 2018, 10:07:01 pm »
In the future humanity has mastered time travel through the means of artificial wormholes, and an unexpected upshot of this is that luck (or something very much like it) is now real. This is because any negative event that you would be inclined to go back and stop is thereby inconsistent, and thus never happens in the first place; sort of a combination of the Liar's Paradox and the Toxin Puzzle. As long as you are (or will be) willing to go back and fix negative occurrences, you will never have to

EDIT:
Another idea:

A series of buried treasure pirate stories focusing on how the treasure came to be buried, as this literary trope is often criticized as highly implausible. Each story will focus on a different plausible or semi-plausible reason, such as

1.) Items are too hot to fence
2.) Privateers (pirates hired by a government as mercenaries) hiding items that for one reason or another prove that some aspect of their last raid violated the terms of their letter of marque
3.) To secretly hide from their crewmates the true amount of plunder taken, in order to cheat them (Henry Morgan was accused of doing this IRL; although historians now believe that what actually happened is that the raid in question simply didn't net much cash in the first place, due to the island's treasurers having got wind of him casing the place and fleeing with all the money some days prior to the attack)
4.) Ship is damaged in combat and unable to get back to port with all that extremely heavy gold on board.
5.) Emergency stash in case they have to flee somewhere in a hurry and leave their valuables behind

19
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 10, 2018, 04:47:34 pm »
Skit: "Holy Smokes"- A Peter Popoff-esque televangelist peddles cigars which he claims are "holy smokes" and will cure people. Though of course they actually jist make people's health worse.

20
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 08, 2018, 04:45:50 pm »

21
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 08, 2018, 07:39:27 am »
Combination horror-film/educational-video in which trickle-down economics is explained using the Human Centipede as a visual metaphor

22
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 07, 2018, 09:08:02 pm »

Republicans<Libertarians<Democrats<Dead people, animals, major appliances, and the Green Party


My math skills might not be what they once were, but are you saying the Green Party is most preferable to you?

Technically a tie for first place between the Green Party, dead people, and inanimate objects

23
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 07, 2018, 05:59:54 pm »
Trump is calling the election outcome a "Big Victory".  Now I'm confused.  I mean, more than usual.

Maybe he expected to lose the senate as well?

24
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 07, 2018, 05:58:10 pm »
You jest but I can think of many many pro's of having a dead pimp republican as a senator over other republican senators

I agree. I'd be much less averse to voting for a dead republican than for a living one. As long as they don't go ahead and replace him with someone who's still alive he might even be better than a democrat

EDIT:

I'd put the heirarchy of leadership quality as follows:

Republicans<Libertarians<Democrats<Dead people, animals, major appliances, and the Green Party

Dying moves him from the worst category to the best one

25
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 07, 2018, 08:53:38 am »
How about this: I would rather minimize human death and suffering in general. Does that better capture my meaning here than simply “opposition to genocide”?

Technically the most lasting and effective way to do that would to be to kill everything and end the cycle

26
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: November 06, 2018, 09:08:14 pm »
Posting to remind those of the US to vote

27
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 01, 2018, 08:19:47 pm »
One of those educational TV shows where the protagonist is a kid who misbehaves and then learns a lesson about why what he did was wrong. The twist here is that the kid in this show is Evil. The morals are all about things like "why you shouldn't set the cat on fire" "why you shouldn't kill your newborn baby brother just because you think your parents are paying more attention to him than you" "why you shouldn't pimp out your cousin to perverts and then steal her share of the candy" "Why you shouldn't hide bodies for the mob" "why you shouldn;t kill your parents because they won't let you stay up past your bedtime" and occasionally even veering into supernatural horror ("The corn god isn't your friend. He's just going to demand more and more extreme sacrifices")

EDIT:
Another idea:

A gay porn about Jesus and the devil entitled "Get Thee Behind Me Satan"

28
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: November 01, 2018, 05:40:02 pm »
Alternate ending to The Grinch, wherein the Grinch is unable to think up a lie and think it up quick and instead panics and shoots Cindy Lou Who, and the police chase him across the country and there's a bunch of action and car chases and shootouts and stuff

EDIT:
Another idea:

Comedy skit: a non-verbal retarded man goes to a pentecostal/charismatic revival meeting and everyone thinks he's speaking in tongues

29
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Looking for ideas
« on: November 01, 2018, 04:03:36 pm »
ETA: Also, this is how I learned that spray-on-cheese is Easy Cheese, not Cheese Whiz, which is pretty much the same thing, but in non-pressurized form.

and I just learned it now from reading this thread

30
That's awesome

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