All you can say in this site's defence is that it, rather than reality, occupies the warped minds of some of the planet's most twisted people; gods know what they would get up to if it wasn't here. In these arguably insane times, any lessening or attenuation of madness is maybe something to be thankful for.
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I don't think I can make it. I don't even have money to pay my phone bill.
Because the problem obvously couldn't be with you.