« on: November 18, 2014, 02:29:31 am »
I attended the wake last night. The undertakers did a good job, but my God, seeing her dead was strange. It was sad. But it was stranger than it was sad. I've gotten over the fact that she died being mad at me and I not being able to resolve it. I found out she was in the hospital because I reached out to her to resolve our issue. If she were still alive and didn't resolve things with me I would have shrugged and gone, "well, I tried." The whole thing was weird. The wake had this sort of, I really am just having a strange dream sort of feel to it, even down to the people there. Even down to the slideshow of pictures. She's been dating her boyfriend for 11 years and there are no pictures of them together. The pictures abruptly end in her early 20s. One of the last ones was my high school graduation. The funeral Mass was said today in New York (her mom insisted on a Latin Mass, and Boston doesn't have any Latin Mass priests anymore). She's being buried tomorrow in her father's grave. I won't be attending. I'm welcome to, but I'm opting not to.
I am sad, but I'm ok. But I'd be lying if I said this wasn't really fucking surreal.