Okay, So You Found Us, and We're Not What You Expected.

[Doktor Howl]

Okay, So You Found Us, and We're Not What You Expected.

We even made fun of your beliefs, just like all the other assholes you've had to deal with all this time, and you're having trouble understanding what's going on.  It's really quite simple, actually.

You believe the wrong things.

You may be an eclectic Wiccan IndoPagan conservative, or an anarchist, or maybe you're just a person new to Discordianism that wants to tell us all about it.  In any of the above cases, you are operating in error.  Not because your ideas aren't factually correct...For all we know, the universe really IS structured in a manner straight out of some hippie's bliss ninny patchouli poisoning-induced dreams.

You're still wrong, though.  

Why are you wrong?  You're wrong because your priorities are all screwed up.

You have your "athame", we have "Bob".  You have your hopelessly complicated system of "beliefs", we have "IN THE NADS".  You want to tell us all about your newly found love for the mythical "free market", we already understand "Or Kill Me".  You want to tell us about Malaclypse the Younger and Omar Ravenhurst, but we already grasp the concept of "I WILL KILL A MOTHERFUCKER".

We're not necessarily saying we're smarter than you, we're saying we're better than you.  Not because we have some secret knowledge (we do), and not because we're generally clever and sexy as fuck (we are), but because we know a Southbound freight train when we see one, and we know that the color of the train (or the party of the politician, etc) makes no difference to the outcome, just like we know that our personal beliefs about the nature of the train make no difference.

You may also consider that you aren't the first one busting in here with loads of misconceptions, and you MIGHT consider maybe looking around an trying to figure out what the topics of the conversations are, before trying to wow us on your first day with all the cool ideas that won over the trustafarian girls at the community college.

But who am I kidding?  This is PD, so your job is to dig your heels in and show us all.  You'll last about a month, you'll be bitter as hell when you finally leave, but at least you will have appeased your e-penis, which has to be worth something, right?

Way to go.

[Don Coyote]

[Roaring Biscuit!]

If it needs saying once it needs saying a thousand times....

probably...

x

edd

[BadBeast]

Sorry, wrong Forum. I thought this was Mystickwicks.

[Phox]

Oh fuck, you mean you guys aren't going to bow to my superior knowledge that I know I have because you have life experiences, knowledge, and perspectives that I don't? But I'm right. [/sarcasm]

[Don Coyote]

You forgot your past life as Cleopatra, and Morgan LeFay.

[Phox]

You forgot your past life as Cleopatra, and Morgan LeFay.

Don't forget Helen. But those go without saying, of course. I mean, obviously I have caused the downfall of many great men and even countries, and it certainly wasn't events beyond my control that I only had a nominal role in that led to those outcomes.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

BUT DISCORDIANISM SHOULD LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE PD!

JUST LIKE THE GOVERNMENT BEHAVES EXACTLY LIKE THE CONSTITUTION AND M NIGHT SHYAMLAMMA MOVIES ARE JUST LIKE THE TRAILERS!

[PopeTom]

So this isn't the Really Real Real Discordian Forum of Realness?

Shit I've wasted the last five and a half years of my time on the Internet.

[Don Coyote]

Coyote says that Eris has a wicked sense of humor and/or was very high in the 50s and 60s.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

We're not necessarily saying we're smarter than you, we're saying we're better than you.  

[Penumbral]

 

Also this really isn't a discordian forum, but rather a forum full of discord.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 


I love these pieces

[BadBeast]

Coyote says that Eris has a wicked sense of humor and/or was very high in the 50s and 60s.

Eris says that "Just because Coyote is a bit of a character, doesn't necessarily mean he's got any character".

[Adios]

Did you remember to tell them we are going to laugh at them as well? Some of that shit is better than the Comedy Channel.