Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

<enters.>

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO JIMMY KIMMEL?

<leaves.>

[Enrico Salazar]

Jimmy Kimmel is too busy banging Enrico's old girlfriend Sarah Silverman, but Enrico dumped her when he realized she had a thicker mustache than he does.

So Enrico took over Kimmel's spot.  Coming tomorrow:  Girls on trampolines!

[Jean-Paul Fartre]

Yes, lay down there next to Fred, and thank her for saving your miserable life you beautiful faggot.

Answer, Fartre.

Your nuts and the future.  What happens when you have 5 large nuts and poop is 5 inches long?



JPF

[Shecky D. Albino]

Jimmy Kimmel is too busy banging Enrico's old girlfriend Sarah Silverman, but Enrico dumped her when he realized she had a thicker mustache than he does.

That is correct, sir!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Jimmy Kimmel is too busy banging Enrico's old girlfriend Sarah Silverman, but Enrico dumped her when he realized she had a thicker mustache than he does.

That is correct, sir!

She had that waxed. Mike Tyson told me last week when the Tequilahadeen mistakenly took Las Vegas hostage.

[Enrico Salazar]

Fartre.  Have you been smoking chalk?

You make less sense than Jimmy Carter after being attacked by a mutant rabbit.

(presses button on table near couch)

Dammit!

These fucking trapdoors never work right.

Shecky, would you kindly escort Fartre off stage and give him his parting gifts?

[Shecky D. Albino]

*passes out*

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

*passes out*

No more chalk for you.

[Enrico Salazar]

Shit.

Ok, Enrico will do it himself.

Ladies and dobermen, Enrico's chat show will be back after a few words from various sponsors of dubious intentions . . .

Come, Fartre . . . come back stage . . .

[Toots]

(stands up in the audience)

What is happening? Why are all these people talking? Is the whole world going crazy????

(starts sobbing) Enrico, I love you. Enriiiiicooooooooooo!!!!
(faints)

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

(stands up in the audience)

What is happening? Why are all these people talking? Is the whole world going crazy????

(starts sobbing) Enrico, I love you. Enriiiiicooooooooooo!!!!
(faints)

No more chalk for you either.


ATTENTION!

THIS SHOW HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY THE TEQUILAHADEEN FOR WAY TOO LONG. AND NOW OUR HOOKAHS TELL US THAT WE MUST NOW TAKE THIS SHOW HOSTAGE.

WE ARE SORRY FOR THE INCOVENIENCE!

<disappears as hoods are forced over audience and crew members and the new hostages are hauled off.>

[Enrico Salazar]

Have no fear, my loyal hemorrhoids, Enrico's boys are always stationed just off stage, and around the doors.  Razor wire is wrapped around studio, for your protection . . .

There is nothing to fear, we have been doing this since Hugh was still clutching mummy's tittie.

Is cute though, he is getting good.

Keep it up and you might get interview.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Have no fear, my loyal hemorrhoids, Enrico's boys are always stationed just off stage, and around the doors.  Razor wire is wrapped around studio, for your protection . . .

There is nothing to fear, we have been doing this since Hugh was still clutching mummy's tittie.

Is cute though, he is getting good.

Keep it up and you might get interview.

<reappears.>

All your audience members now belong to the Tequilahadeen Hostage Department. For release, please apply to our customer service office for recitification and notice of our demands.

<disappears.>

[Enrico Salazar]

(pats Hugh on the head)

Oh, Hugh, you could be a Salazorian yet.

All the audience members signed waivers before being admitted, the show is not responsible for any mishaps whatsoever.

Take them all out if gives you an erection.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

(pats Hugh on the head)

Oh, Hugh, you could be a Salazorian yet.

All the audience members signed waivers before being admitted, the show is not responsible for any mishaps whatsoever.

Take them all out if gives you an erection.

No. The Tequilahadeen usually just brainwash them and turn them loose to society at large. Does this frighten or gratify you? Sometimes we just give them to Special Agent Hoshiko, who does Eris knows what with them involving poptarts and guacamole.

But we will take the hostages out if it gives YOU an erection, or even it helps your election.