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Fire.

Yes, it’s time to have a bit of pyrotechnic CRAZY in CRAZY PREPARED

KNOW how to start a fire.
Fire = dry heat = one Maslow’s #1 priorities on his hierarchy of needs.
Yes, we have heaters, boilers, and wood stoves nowadays, but if you’re out of your usual surroundings, camping, hiking, or escaping the crumbling ruins of a once great empire, you DON’T HAVE ANY OF THAT!

Regardless of planning, preparation or intent, most folks who do things in the outdoors will end up cold, wet and miserable a couple times a year. (Law of stupid happenstance) When this does happen, it makes you appreciate good roaring fire to dry off next to like nothing else will, and makes knowing HOW to get one started an indispensable skill.

If you grew up in the outdoors, you likely know this, and may read a few novel tricks here, but then this article isn’t for you so much.

To build a fire, you need about three stages of fuel: tinder, kindling, and logs.  Tinder is where you start. Paper, lint (dryer lint especially), wood shavings, dry leaves, or VERY small twigs work best. You can also use steel wool and a 9 volt battery. You don’t need a direct flame, like from a lighter, (Although it REALLY helps.). What you want to get in your tinder is a spark which starts everything else glowing and smoking. Then, you GENTLY blow or fan this spark to get a more serious flame, and start adding your small twigs and other kindling. Use the kindling to expand and intensify the fire, until you can catch the smaller of your logs. Play around to get the hang of it. A charcoal grill can be good to practice with, if you aren’t using instant – light stuff.

If you have engine fuel, spray on lubricant, hair spray, air freshener, alcohol, hand sanitizer, most automotive oils / fluids (except radiator), or chaffing dish fuel (aka Sterno) as an aide to starting the fire. (Take care, and remember MOST of those will evaporate into flammable vapors. (Save your eyebrows.)

Keep in mind, when you’re out in the woods it takes some foraging to find dry stuff to burn, the wind will never blow the right way, and things in general will NOT work out easily. It helps to have a shielded area to light the fire in, too, so making a small pit, circle or windbreak will help. Fire is hot, and likes to spread, so be aware. Don’t breathe the smoke and pass out face – down in the coals.

If you have a lighter or fire starting tool you can speed up the process a bit. The only difficulty is the greater the level of heat and flame they provide, the more disposable they are, or the more consumable resources they need.

The simplest and longest lasting tools are flints, lenses, or anything designed to make a hot spark to start a bit of tinder glowing into an ember. (That is ALL they will do, so practice building from ember to fire if you’re going to rely on one.) Most flints you can buy come with a block of magnesium attached that you can shave off flakes to help light the fire with. These shaving will burn very hot, but too quick to help do much more than light the tinder.

Actual Lighters are a GREAT convenience since they give you flame on demand without having to puff one up out of an ember. Downsides are reliability and longevity. Butane can leak out over months in storage, and “zippo” type liquid fuel lighters have a way of drying out if not well sealed or carefully packed. Zippos do have the bonus of being very renewable when supplies are around. There are also anecdotes of folks pulling out and lighting the fuel- soaked wadding inside the lighter when they need to produce a BIG fire in a hurry. This is best used only to save a life or scare off a wild animal, since it renders the lighter inoperable until repacked and refueled. For most folks out and about day to day, a lighter is an excellent and versatile thing to carry, and about as prepared as most are likely to need.

There is no real ”Instant campfire”, but a few things come close. You could lug along a portable stove, most of which use kerosene, alcohol, gasoline or diesel fuel. (Be aware of fuel availability, especially for brand – specific fuels) Many of these are quite compact and clever, many also resemble a gas kitchen range, but are bulky for traveling long distances on foot. Hobo stoves, cans with cut – outs to allow feeding fuel to a small hot fire, are not a bad thing to cut out of a steel can, or bend out of metal. There are many designs, but the basic idea of an enclosure for a wood fire. With all versions of these stoves, you do look at lugging both range and fuel (lessened with the hobo stove).

There are also fire starting fuel bars. Your good author will personally espouse the fun and efficiency that is the U.S. Military trioxane fuel bar, which can ALMOST replace kindling in a well built and shielded fire. Wood fire “logs” are also around, but haven’t been observed to be as efficient. Good in a pinch, but designed for a fireplace, not a campfire.

As always, play around, but play safe (as possible). Repetition and practice make bad cold situations EASY.

Modern Medicine

I had an MRI today.  (Nothing is wrong with me, some researcher just wants pictures of my brain).  The experience is interesting.  It starts with a checklist, basic information to make sure there’s nothing in my body the magnets are going to have fun with.  Next up they have me change into hospital garb.  I’m then told to wait, for about an hour, since they secretly scheduled my visit after the time they told me, for fear I’d be late.

After a great deal of waiting, and signing various release forms, liability waivers, and so forth, I’m taken to a small room, the last of my possessions (a book and the locker key with my street clothes) are stripped from me,.  Then I get to go into a larger room, with even less space thanks to the monstrously large hunk of plastic, super-conducting wire and liquid helium.

I put on the headphones, bizarre things out of the science fiction of a century ago, with no metal, and sound pumped through a tube of air into my ears.  Then the technician straps my head in place.  Thus begins the bondage.  The bench is slid backwards slowly, and I find myself unable to move my arms, which are now pinned between my body and the sides of said tube.

Something they don’t tell you about, when fussing over the potential claustrophobia. MRI machines vibrate.

They start playing a movie, I brought Fight Club with me, since I’ll only get to watch the first half of whatever it is, and I hate the second half of fight club.

Something else they don’t tell you about MRIs, they produce a variety of sensations as they scan.  A strange tugging sensation of my abdomen.  A spot of my skin starts to vibrate, slowly moving up my right side.  My nose starts to itch.  Then my eye.

The movie continues playing just long enough to remind me of the first rule of Fight Club.  Which I will say no more about.  The researcher asks me to please stop moving my foot, and they start playing some cognitive tasks for me, think about this word, watch for green dots, don’t think about anything specific.

I cheat on the last one, and wonder why the windows 2000 desktop I was staring at had a program called ‘SSH secure shell client’ when SSH stands for secure shell.

Finally, after about an hour inside this glorified bondage device, I’m pulled out of the machine, given my things back, and sent on my way.  They even gave me pictures, which I share with you now.

Cropped so you spags can't reconstruct my face.

The War on Discord

Millions of people today are still celebrating the swearing in of President Obama and some are saying that his inauguration speech many go down as one of the best in history. However, the Discordian community sees it differently. With one short sentence Pres. Obama has declared War on Discord:

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

Many groups see this statement as both offensive and un-American. The Reverend Jim Reinard of America’s United for Discord is quoted as saying:

This is a complete outrage. Apparently Mr. Obama has forgotten his history books. This nation was founded on Discordian principles. Would there have been a Declaration of Independence without discord? Would we have had a Revolutionary War without strife? And where would the Constitution have been if our Founding Fathers hadn’t conflicted over the Articles of Confederation? I expect a full retraction from Pres. Obama in the coming days.

Meanwhile, Elaine Whipspittle president of the Discordian Alliance of Mothers has written a press release stating:

We at the Discordian Alliance of Mothers are appalled at Obama’s resolve to strip our children of their fundamental right to be raised in the faith of their parents. Our religion is not “an introduction to terrorism”, as Mr. Obama portrays it; to see how wrong he is you would only have to see the joyous look on a child’s face as she places memebomb stickers on public property.

Not everyone is opposed to Obama’s new front on conflict though. Central Scrutinizer of the Concordian Movement was quoted as saying:

Success on all fronts! At last someone has awoken to the insidious international threat of DISCORD and has dedicated money, manpower, and bureaucracy to combat this extremely precise problem!

The Obama administration was unable to be reached for comment at this time.

(thanks to Nigel and Hoopla for their help)

The Tricorder – fiction now close to fact

Two recent developments in biological sciences and technology have lead me to believe the Tricorder of Star Trek fame is not so distant.

http://www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0002075

The first is a hand held medical scanner/communication device. Granot, Ivorra and Rubinsky published their creation through the online PLoS ONE journal on April 30th of this year. The technology uses a very similar setup to the newer cellular phones, and detects voltage differences to produce images. From the pictures you can see it is pretty much a modified cell phone, connected to an electrode setup.

http://www.barcoding.si.edu/BackgroundPublications/Hebert_et_al_2003_DNABarcodes.pdf

The second article was published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society of London in 2003. Hebert et al provide a complete system to taxonomic identification through the Cytochrome Oxidase I gene of mitochondrial DNA. This gene is found in all animals, and varies quite a bit between species, however, its intraspecific variation is low. The mutation rate of the gene is just right for acting as a species barcode, whereas the DNA sequence identifies the species by its closeness to a record of known gene sequences. The aim is to sequence this gene in all animal species and use it as a universal identifier. There are several worldwide barcoding initiatives going on for most of the major taxonomic groupings. I really don’t see it as that far off before we have a good record for all described vertebrate species, although it will probably take much longer for the invertebrates. The practical uses for this is immense. Already, barcoding has been used to uncover fish market fraud. http://amphidrome.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/fishmonger-fraud/

Now, wouldn’t it be cool if you could combine the two of these? You would have a cell phone that could do biological scanning, as well as sequence COI genes and compare them to the online database. You would have a combination communicator, biological scanner, and species identification device, in essence, a tricorder.

Its not that far off.

http://www.barcodinglife.org/views/login.php – The heart of the barcoding initiative. Note the search engine of over 160 thousand barcodes. You can simply type your sequence in and it will give you the closest matches.

Arête

VS

There are two drives at war within each of us – the creation and maintenance of order, and the reckless breakneck chase of disorder.

Visualize a skinny nerd walking a big dog. The dog is trying to pull the nerd where he wants to go, and the nerd is gripping the leash with white knuckles. And you are neither the nerd nor the beast, but both at the same time.

  Continue reading Arête

Go Go Goddess Motorcycle!

Sick of the Flying Spaghetti Monster being the only Neophillic Irreligion available for kids? Here’s a quick jake for the children.

hxxp://www.gogoddess.com/

Some background on the site, from the PARENTS section:

Why go goddess?
Rather than by age, tweens are best defined by their state of mind as they enter a transition period between childhood and adolescence. go goddess! is a brand focusing exclusively on the development of self-esteem for tween girls by encouraging self-discovery, self-expression, and self-awareness. The purpose of the go goddess! concept is to encourage tweens to discover their talents and interests, and to emphasize the importance of embracing their inner beauty and unique attitudes as they navigate the tough world of being a tween.

Why focus on tweens?
Experts suggest that it is during the tween years that girls begin to pay attention to their “inner voice.” They begin to compare themselves to their peers, which can result in self-doubt. “Tween-agers” also begin to question their individual idea of what is right and what is wrong, rather than solely relying on their parents’ opinions. The intent of the go goddess! concept is to provide girls with a healthy outlet to explore their unique and budding interests during this impressionable period.

consider the above when writing letters.

If you sign up, play nice on the site, there are kids there. But go ahead and try every trick in the book to get them to take us seriously.

(credit to Lysergic for finding this joint)

PS: I DON’T EVEN HAVE A DAUGHTER!

The Spark

sparkThe hope for the future lies in our past.  I believe this to be true. 

But, not as a collective.  Not as a society, or as a country, or as a race.  The hope is in our individual past.  It is in, The Spark. 

It’s that moment, or series of moments that we’ve all had.  Perhaps for some it has long been buried by years of apathy and the leavings of a crumbling self.  Perhaps for some it was squelched by an overbearing parent or militant grade-school teacher.  Regardless, I believe we all have had it. 

What is The Spark?  It’s when you discovered you could be Ian Paice using the pots and pans in your mother’s kitchen.  It’s when you figured out how to turn a piece of paper into a soaring jet plane.  It’s when you strummed your first E5 with the gain turned up to 10.  It’s when you blew out your gut onto a piece of lined paper.  It was when you help hope and promise, not for the world, but for YOU.

Youthful exuberance.  Vim and vigor.  As you think about it now you are probably remembering back to fond times of yesteryear.  That’s good.  Because when you become reacquainted with that feeling, you need to drag it back with you.  Reinstall it into your psyche, your personality, your YOU. 

It’s hard to think that The Spark was what landed the Accounts Payable position for the financial institution.  It’s hard to conceive that it was The Spark that lead to the junkie with the needle in his arm.  It’s unimaginable that it was The Spark that has us deep into a conflict in the desert that is seemingly endless.  No, it would seem in these cases, and many, many more, that The Spark was relegated to the back seat while The Retreat was riding shotgun. 

The Retreat is where we went, and where we still go, when we don’t want to cause trouble.  It is where we, well, retreat to when we don’t wish to take on the challenge of choice.  When we fear the choice of becoming a professional Clown, egged on by The Spark, we then decide to pursue the safety of becoming an insurance salesmen presented at the job-fair hosted at The Retreat.  We’ve learned from others that The Retreat is safe and will allow us to live a life of comfort and a resulting joy.  The edges are all smoothed to keep us from harming ourselves. 

The Spark is rough and ragged.  It is possible that it can hurl us off a cliff into a crevice of danger, yet it also can propel us to the pastures of potential.  We could go all in, sell our stuff, hop on a bike with just a guitar and some gusto and maybe make it as a well-known musician.  In the effort, we may have to wait tables to put food on our own table.  We may have to forgo owning IPODS and cellphones while forging ahead.  But, the potential rewards for the soul, I would argue, are much richer than those who languish in the lap of luxury. 

It would seem that far too many have forgotten their Spark while living in their Retreat.  Many are unconscionably ignorant to the lack of fire burning within, while simultaneously feeling the chill coming, unheeded, through the windows of their Retreat.  And so, that’s where we find things.  Those in the cold far outnumbering those still yearning and burning for what tomorrow will hold.  But, it is not lost.  We simply need to form the search parties to explore and excavate that which was left in the dead days’ dust.  Meanwhile, for those who have managed to maintain their fire, we need to keep stoking it and assuring that it is never quashed.  It is this hope from our past that is going to give us the promise for the future…