Rev Roger, Sermon #43: Evangelizing to the Heathen.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"They'll hunt you down like a dog one fine day, Roger."
- Larry the Diseased Mountain Monk, last night in my voice mail.

"They hate me because I'm Mexican.  They hate you because you're a gringo."
- GITMO, during a vicious drunk, 2001.

"Hey, shit, that hurt!"
- Marcus Tullius Cicero, on being informed of the new Roman order.

Old Cicero knew a thing or two about the loss of civil liberties...first as an educated orator, then as an example.  For the heinous crime of demanding his rights, old Marcus got his head and hands cut off, and nailed above the Senate door.  He was, they said, too old to change, and too stubborn to back down...but that wasn't what got him killed.

He was killed, you see, for keeping a straight face.  If you've ever read the Phillipics (possibly the finest ranting ever, by anybody), you can see that Cicero knew how to get his point across...but not how to survive doing it.

Contrast Cicero with the court jesters of renaissance Italy.  While Marcus  was a stern old man with a biting tongue, these asshats could do anything they wanted, just because they wore motley and giggled while they said horrible things that the powers that be absolutely had to hear.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we all go sew bells onto our shoes...but what I AM saying is that simply stating the truth with a straight face won't get you anywhere.  No, it is far better to make it a joke, and to approach the situation at hand with a perspective that comes totally out of left field.

Take, for example, the current political situation in America (or England...it's the same shit with different names).  Sure, you can yell about the erosion of basic human rights and the total abandonment of our principles, but that won't get you anywhere.  Or maybe it will, but you don't want to know where.  Calling Bush and his cronies fascists may be true, but it will just cause any so-called "conservative" to  start rationalizing Bush's behavior out of pure knee-jerk reflex.  Why?  Simple...you're implying that this person made a mistake when they voted for Bush, and they'll kill you before they admit that.  They are heathens, remember, and know not the glories of omnifallibility.

Instead, try stating that you can't see any real difference between today's "liberals" and "conservatives".  After all, BOTH groups want to deny us our freedoms, and simply disagree on what freedoms should be discarded first.  The libs want to grab your guns, and the neocons want to  take away due process (in fact, they already have).  Rag on the liberals until the conservative agrees with you three (3) times, then swing around and bash the neocons.  This works...for some reason that a psychologist could explain better than I, once someone agrees with you three times, they are suddenly far more receptive to anything you have to say...and what you say will actually stick, causing the conservative to start thinking about the things you have to say (And, no, this is NOT an invitation for you pedantic fuckers to explain this phenomenon.  Let it go.).

This works even better because it's true.  Today's so-called "liberals" are just as bad as their counterparts, just in a different way (this doesn't apply to any lingering Jefferson liberals still awaiting extinction, of course).  Remember, it works better if you keep it either humorous, or ranty as hell.  But the ranty way can get your head and hands cut off, so is only suggested if you can get a friend to film the hilarity.

Or kill me.

[Jasper]

Holy hell, why didn't anybody comment?  I just found this, and it's grand.

[Cainad (dec.)]

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you." -Oscar Wilde

Excellent sermon.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Holy hell, why didn't anybody comment?  I just found this, and it's grand.

Check the date.  That was at the last, worst part of the civil war.

[Jenne]

Wow, this one is a gem.  Nice find, Felix.

[Sepia]

Holy hell, why didn't anybody comment?  I just found this, and it's grand.

I feel like a retarded broken record when reading stuff in here because there's just too much good shit.

Most of it will simply leave me with a sense of awe and nothing worthwhile to add.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

That was great.  I'm really glad you found it again Felix!!

[Honey]

"They'll hunt you down like a dog one fine day, Roger."
- Larry the Diseased Mountain Monk, last night in my voice mail.

"They hate me because I'm Mexican.  They hate you because you're a gringo."
- GITMO, during a vicious drunk, 2001.

"Hey, shit, that hurt!"
- Marcus Tullius Cicero, on being informed of the new Roman order.

Old Cicero knew a thing or two about the loss of civil liberties...first as an educated orator, then as an example.  For the heinous crime of demanding his rights, old Marcus got his head and hands cut off, and nailed above the Senate door.  He was, they said, too old to change, and too stubborn to back down...but that wasn't what got him killed.

He was killed, you see, for keeping a straight face.  If you've ever read the Phillipics (possibly the finest ranting ever, by anybody), you can see that Cicero knew how to get his point across...but not how to survive doing it.

Contrast Cicero with the court jesters of renaissance Italy.  While Marcus  was a stern old man with a biting tongue, these asshats could do anything they wanted, just because they wore motley and giggled while they said horrible things that the powers that be absolutely had to hear.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we all go sew bells onto our shoes...but what I AM saying is that simply stating the truth with a straight face won't get you anywhere.  No, it is far better to make it a joke, and to approach the situation at hand with a perspective that comes totally out of left field.

Take, for example, the current political situation in America (or England...it's the same shit with different names).  Sure, you can yell about the erosion of basic human rights and the total abandonment of our principles, but that won't get you anywhere.  Or maybe it will, but you don't want to know where.  Calling Bush and his cronies fascists may be true, but it will just cause any so-called "conservative" to  start rationalizing Bush's behavior out of pure knee-jerk reflex.  Why?  Simple...you're implying that this person made a mistake when they voted for Bush, and they'll kill you before they admit that.  They are heathens, remember, and know not the glories of omnifallibility.

Instead, try stating that you can't see any real difference between today's "liberals" and "conservatives".  After all, BOTH groups want to deny us our freedoms, and simply disagree on what freedoms should be discarded first.  The libs want to grab your guns, and the neocons want to  take away due process (in fact, they already have).  Rag on the liberals until the conservative agrees with you three (3) times, then swing around and bash the neocons.  This works...for some reason that a psychologist could explain better than I, once someone agrees with you three times, they are suddenly far more receptive to anything you have to say...and what you say will actually stick, causing the conservative to start thinking about the things you have to say (And, no, this is NOT an invitation for you pedantic fuckers to explain this phenomenon.  Let it go.).

This works even better because it's true.  Today's so-called "liberals" are just as bad as their counterparts, just in a different way (this doesn't apply to any lingering Jefferson liberals still awaiting extinction, of course).  Remember, it works better if you keep it either humorous, or ranty as hell.  But the ranty way can get your head and hands cut off, so is only suggested if you can get a friend to film the hilarity.

Or kill me.

Kill you?  I want to kiss you!      Sermon #43 is incisive, blending the lessons of the past with foresight & providing hints for curing myopic shortsightedness & narrow minded pedantry of all kinds!

TGGR - not just your typical run of the mill Rain God, seeing into the future, time traveling the past (like it's a walk in the park) & worst of all best of all, getting into people's heads with those crazy ass cosmic ray thingies! 

(& speaking of those damn rays?  Can't a sister get a little peace?  Those dark glasses?   I'm wearing 'em 24/7, inside & out, & why why why is it the worst when I sleep, dream, bathe even?  Hhmm, fancy that?        There is no escape!      They're everywhere!)

(I'm exhausted now  )  Thanks & respect.          

[Iason Ouabache]

Whoa, good job finding this Felix.  We need to put this in an issue of Intermittens.

[Kai]

This is why comedy and horror mirth are the best mediums for our message.

[Faithless]

I agree, but I find it hard to laugh at the fools that are stealing my life.

[Aufenthatt]

Imagen them in there underwear.

[Faithless]

Imagen them in there underwear.

Maybe if they were on fire.....now thats a funny thought.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Imagen them in there underwear.

Maybe if they were on fire.....now thats a funny thought.

See?  Not so hard.

[Reginald Ret]

Today i discovered an excellent way of removing stink from toilets and stuff, most people would either use deodorant or matches, but combining fire with deodorant from a can works wonders! It has the happy side effect of letting you play with flamethrowers