Passive aggressive bullshit

[Sepia]

"It's better to live in fear than not at all"

Eat. Eat your meat, eat your tofu. Eat your tunasteaks with creme fraiche, eat your carrots fresh from the dirt and with the dirt, get some more of that b12. Eat your love, take that whole tit in your mouth, you want to feel it don't you? Yeah, you do. You're a little spider, you want to devour her. Now, chew off. Bite it off. Sever the milkline between mother and child. Savour the taste of fresh blood and the way the pudgy meat hangs in your mouth and remember the nipple as it caresses your uvula(?).

She'll scream but it'll be over in an instant, like a soldier reacting to the first bullet he'll ever take in his life, she copes, her mind breaks into more personalities and she develops her defence.

The fear subsides leaving a can of worms open on the table and you put your hand in there to explain love to your children and you hold a worm up between your fingers and you pause like they do on wednesday nights in the movies. "Love is a fickle thing you say and love, like any other thing can be commanded to yield" and fifteen years in the future the egg you planted has hatched and there's there's something there to feel to touch

We gave you a dream but then you woke up and you wondered what layer of the dream you were, you were thinking meta and the magician clapped his hands twice and you woke up yet another time.

You were in the dream along with me and we were standing under the moon, some frozen and vast tundra, a political rally or the plateau of Leng and there were wolves in the background and we were talking about champagne and i said it was better to drink one bottle of champagne than it was drinking three bottles of cava. You smiled at me, seeing something hidden in my eyes and between the lines and you said Jump. I was partly frozen in fear because I was being arrested at this basic state of life when we had been discussing quantum physics earlier but I saw what you meant I just couldn't grasp it. I was tired of life I thought and you knew it and you said you're an introvert. You came to our table a little too late, we had already drunk a bottle of champagne each when you found your way but one day you'll outshine us when we sit in our thirties talk about cars, politics and things we do to spicen up our lovelife.

Then you said Jump because if you do it once you'll have learned that there is nothing to fear and that esoteric wisdom is called wisdom because it is esoteric. You have to do your own interpretations and I wish I could have smartened up that last sentence but hey, that's how it is. The birds are singing as I walk down the street, it's rain and I'm excited about it and I go to that twentyfour seven noodle place and I pretend it's somewhere else, it's blade runner and I see Deckard over there, slouching and drinking noodles and he has a miso soup and a kirin and some sake even though it's more of a thai place but for a second there I'm there and I'm home and then it stops and dysoptics doesn't live here anymore and I'm back to my drab and I want to find a manual on how to jump.

I contemplate my life while I watch lost in translation, eat tom ka kai tofu with tagliatelle and it feels like I kill an italian with each bite but I relapse and I'm back to my life again and I gather plans for the future filled with uncertainty, like drinking beer on an empty stomach with friends you haven't seen for a while and you have to stay and try to stomach but I don't know anything. I can quote whatever shakespeare or ibsen you desire, talk about lovecraft for hours to no end and I know so much about this shit, this airplane magazine shit, these crutches I have for life but I know so little about it and this perplexes me to no end. Why the death of ego when I built it up again with this? Was there a loss of ego or was it simply another [indirect] method of control? How can I survive doing what I love? Playacting in someone elses drama, the talented mr.ripley with no talent for jumping.

These are the threads and none come to completion. Is it satisfactory? Is it a smile to put on your face on a rainy day deep down in oslo with a red umbrella coveting the kabuki mask and why the fuck does the rain sound like godspeed on these days?

[LHX]

this is where its at right now

english is rarely used this well

[East Coast Hustle]

goddamn.

goddamn goddamn goddamn.

that shit burns like cheap crystal meth and soothes like the finest china white.

[LHX]

this makes me want to go create something gorgeous

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Yes...but what does it mean?


*strokes beard*

[LHX]

its a bird
its a plane
its life

[Jenne]

Why does it indeed.  Don't learn to jump--because the wondering is sooo much better than the doing.

Bravo.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Sepia inspires me to give up writing altogether. I'll never come close. Thanks dude, you make me feel like a cockroach, crawling aimlessly across a keyboard.

[Sepia]

 

Where's fluffy when you need a pfft?
The funny/weird thing is that I saw this as the crappiest of the three and I thought about it over a couple of days if it was worth posting at all so now I'm quite speechless as I don't know how the fuck to react. Thanks though, I need to ponder this a few days.

And silly, No I don't and yeah you'll do and go furthur.

[LMNO]

You're full of shit, Sepia.





LMNO
-subbing in for fluffy.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Where's fluffy when you need a pfft?
The funny/weird thing is that I saw this as the crappiest of the three and I thought about it over a couple of days if it was worth posting at all so now I'm quite speechless as I don't know how the fuck to react. Thanks though, I need to ponder this a few days.

And silly, No I don't and yeah you'll do and go furthur.

Beauty deserves compliment. Silly hopes that any complement he receives is because he's done something beautiful. That would be a mission accomplished. Ego would be bright and shiny.