About evolution, it IS A LIE! Not that creationism is true, but that the best we can do at understanding events we cannot perceive directly is approximate them via science (which may or may not be the greatest thing conceived since Jesus). Take any measurement in any scientific model and you will have an irrational number. If you come up with 4302894/123089333, I will say, "Get a better ruler." Why is this so? Because reality doesn't conform to stupid rules invented by humans 1000's of years ago.
So, yeah! There you have it! I'm gonna pass out now!