Ask Bella

[Bella]

Bella,

How come when I ask you a question, everyone answers but you?

Dear Zurtok,

It's because you ask interesting questions that require me to think. So I go away to think about what to say to you and people get impatient because they know how easily I become distracted and they worry that I won't actually answer your question. But I will as soon as I think of the answer.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

I've been firing copious amounts of bullets at my neighbor's house. The other day he came out and yelled at me and the next day HE CALLED THE FUCKING POLICE! What's the deal?! Its not only legal to shoot at him (He's Scottish) but its my CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT!!!!!

Sincerely,
-Fnordiscordia

Dear Fnordiscordia,

You forgot to paint a bullseye on the side of the neighbor's house and hide the paint buckets and brushes in his garden shed so it looked like he painted it on himself. That way you could have said you thought he wanted you to shoot copious amounts of bullets at his house.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

You are a genius!

Sincerely,
-Fnordiscordia

P.S. Do you reccomend a .380 or a .357 for future use?

Dear Fnordiscordia,

Thank you. :P

PS: I'm kind of partial to a .357 - just don't hang a crossbow over your bed, k? Cuz you'll only end up sleeping alone if you do.

[Zurtok Khan]

Bella,

How come when I ask you a question, everyone answers but you?

Dear Zurtok,

It's because you ask interesting questions that require me to think. So I go away to think about what to say to you and people get impatient because they know how easily I become distracted and they worry that I won't actually answer your question. But I will as soon as I think of the answer.

Ohh, well, I uhh...suppose that makes sense.

And, Fnordie, dearest, please paint a mustach on Anne Coulter or something.

[East Coast Hustle]

BELLA...

FIRST, THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW:

1) I HAVE LONG HAIR

2) I'VE BEEN IN A SWELTERING KITCHEN ALL DAY, SO I'M STARTING TO STINK A LITTLE

3) I LIKE THE HIPPIE LETTUCE

NOW, MY QUESTION:

AM I BECOMING WHAT I DESPISE?

[hippie]

Yes. Yes you are.

[East Coast Hustle]

I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU, YOU DIRTY STINKING PATCHOULI-WEARING, UNSHAVEN, LICE-RIDDED HIPPIE BASTARD.

[Verthaine]

You know what.Fuck a bunch of hippies.the Hippies in the sixties had a chance to actually change the world to the better,and what did they do:
THEY SOLD OUT!
In the sixties they(the hippies)  promoted sex drugs rock-n-roll. They promoted and end to the establisment.Some of them dropped out of society to move to Vermont and other places with no niggas and let the jocks and preps take over(Bush,Chaney,etc).
In the seventies after 'Nam they did shit loads of coke and went to studio 54 and became materialistic.
In the eighties they became yuppies,voted for Reagan and Bush,and became even more materialistic. They started to become the very Establishment they once fought.
In the Nineties they decided to grab as much cash as humanly possible,and solidify their power.
In the new millenium,they found Jebus and are making sure that we don't do to them what they tried to do to the Establishment in the 60's.

I agree with TCT. Fuck a bunch of  DIRTY STINKING PATCHOULI-WEARING, UNSHAVEN, LICE-RIDDED HIPPIE BASTARDS.
You sold out on the Dream. You bastard(and i'm talking about the real hippies from the 60's,not the crusty gutterpunk wannabe hippies of today,who aren't much better.)

The Sixties officially died in August
99 in Rome,New York. Went up in flames at the hands of the NEXT GEN who was offended by the "hippies" charging 8 bucks for a bottle of water.  Metallica,Megadeth,Red Hot Chili Peppers(you know,real cool bands,not the shitty Greatful Dead/Phish bullcrap) provided the funeral dirge for the 60's.
I for one,am glad they did.

[hooplala]

You know what.Fuck a bunch of hippies.the Hippies in the sixties had a chance to actually change the world to the better,and what did they do:
THEY SOLD OUT!
In the sixties they(the hippies)  promoted sex drugs rock-n-roll. They promoted and end to the establisment.Some of them dropped out of society to move to Vermont and other places with no niggas and let the jocks and preps take over(Bush,Chaney,etc).
In the seventies after 'Nam they did shit loads of coke and went to studio 54 and became materialistic.
In the eighties they became yuppies,voted for Reagan and Bush,and became even more materialistic. They started to become the very Establishment they once fought.
In the Nineties they decided to grab as much cash as humanly possible,and solidify their power.
In the new millenium,they found Jebus and are making sure that we don't do to them what they tried to do to the Establishment in the 60's.

I agree with TCT. Fuck a bunch of  DIRTY STINKING PATCHOULI-WEARING, UNSHAVEN, LICE-RIDDED HIPPIE BASTARDS.
You sold out on the Dream. You bastard(and i'm talking about the real hippies from the 60's,not the crusty gutterpunk wannabe hippies of today,who aren't much better.)

The Sixties officially died in August
99 in Rome,New York. Went up in flames at the hands of the NEXT GEN who was offended by the "hippies" charging 8 bucks for a bottle of water.  Metallica,Megadeth,Red Hot Chili Peppers(you know,real cool bands,not the shitty Greatful Dead/Phish bullcrap) provided the funeral dirge for the 60's.
I for one,am glad they did.

::claps wildly::

[Bella]

BELLA...

FIRST, THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW:

1) I HAVE LONG HAIR

2) I'VE BEEN IN A SWELTERING KITCHEN ALL DAY, SO I'M STARTING TO STINK A LITTLE

3) I LIKE THE HIPPIE LETTUCE

NOW, MY QUESTION:

AM I BECOMING WHAT I DESPISE?

Dear Turd,

Re: Point #2 - Does your B.O. smell like Patchouli?  

If the answer is no, you have nothing to worry about.

[East Coast Hustle]

THANK YOU, OH ZOMBIE QUEEN OF MINE!

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Verthaine,
I have to disagree with you a little.  Most of the people who were labeled hippies, or tried to act like the hippies, were just a bunch of adolescents (I don't care how old they were) rebelling against whatever everyone else was rebelling against.  Every generation has them.  They don't always look as different from the mainstream as some of the hippies, but they are always there.  They grow up to be like their parents.  A lot of them are soccer moms.  

The real hippies have done some good.  

http://www.hipplanet.com/books/atoz/activism.htm

Everything ebbs and flows.  The neocons have pushed too far, the rest of us are starting to push back.  The mainstream media is not really covering it, but I hear things on NPR sometimes.  I hear things from my friends.

[East Coast Hustle]

GUESS WHAT?

THOSE PSEUDO-REBELLIOUS FUCKTARDS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

THOSE WERE THE HIPPIES.

YOU'RE NOT A HIPPIE, YOU'RE SOMETHING ELSE.

GET OVER IT.

[Zurtok Khan]

Dear Bella,

Why did I just think that the bellybutton lint on my keyboard was a spider?

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

Why did I just think that the bellybutton lint on my keyboard was a spider?

Dear Kahn,

I really have no idea. But you made me laugh and goddess knows I needed it tonight.
Just for that you get a cookie and ........wait a minute. Crap!
You're in Utah, aren't you? And you ate the jello again, didn't you?

How many times must I warn you people not to eat the jello?
That's where they put the mind control drugs.