Ask Bella

[Donkeyotay]

Dear Bella....Should DS#3 and I harass our former landlady over the 100 bucks she still owes us as well as all the receipts for the materials and labor that came out of our deposit for'alleged' repairs she had to make after I moved out..Also, should we eventually take her to court or will it just be a bunch of headaches with little results?

[Bella]

Dearest Bella,

I have recently returned home from a club.  It was an interesting experiance, the dancing was fun (being there with people who grope and grab, and allow me to do the same makes it all interesting, let me tell you), but then I sat back against the wall and watched.  Thats when it the tables turned.  All I could see it for was a meat orgy of emotional masochism.  Empty, but not exactally empty.  More full of lust that made the emptiness seem infinately more vast.  The questions chased themselves around my head, as they often do, and all I could do was wonder why we want pain as a substitute to everything else.  I geuss it's easy to get.  I geuss it makes us forget the emptiness that our oversexed, overstimulated, overlusted society hands to us.  I suppose it's like any drug, the more we get the more we have to have.  It was sad, and funny, and I started laughing sitting next to a massive speaker, no one could hear me.  They weren't listening, they don't know how.

Then I realized fully at that moment that I could never go back.  I could never decend back into unthinking passion.  The craziest thing anyone has ever done is be themself, persistantly.  But, at what point do you allow yourself to fully admit you are different, that you can change something?  I've always been told that I have the potential for something.  I have the tenacity, but I don't quite see it.  Today I was told that I will be/am a visionary of sorts, that nothing my hand touches can stay the same.  But, I don't see it.  Sure, I've felt like the Catalyst because things simply happen when they are suppose to, but do they happen because they're happening, or do they happen because I cause them?  Or, perhaps it's a matter of right-place-right-time (in which case my life is one massive coincidence..).

Sorry, I'm waxxing exsitential(sp?) this morning.

Dear Zurtok,

I think everyone experiences those moments when something familiar and fun changes and we can never see it quite the same again. I don't know why it happens all of a sudden like that - it just seems to be the nature of insight. Maybe there was a muse sitting on your shoulder that night - or maybe you were able to step outside the situation enough to see it through different eyes. I'm sorry the others weren't able to hear you, btw.

As for allowing yourself to fully admit you are different, that also comes in degrees. A little bit at a time. Otherwise, you wouldn't be ready to use your gifts wisely. It's like learning to walk or do anything else. After you practice accepting who you really are, it gets to the point where you can't be anything other than that. And then, just when you get the hang of it, you start learning something new and find a whole other side to yourself you didn't know was there.  

I haven't figured out yet why things happen when they happen, or what causes them to occur. For the moment, I think that it doesn't really matter whether you're the catalyst or just a part of a long string of coincidences as long as you're asking why.

Bella

[Zurtok Khan]

Never thought of it as learning to walk, Bella dearest.  Thanks, that helps alot.  Alot.

And, I like jello, I'm fairly certain there are no mind control drugs in it (I know, thats what they want me to think), mainly because I stuck my head out the window of my car and yelled "PENIS!" at the Old People sitting outside an Icecream shop.  Twas fun.

[Bella]

Dear Bella....Should DS#3 and I harass our former landlady over the 100 bucks she still owes us as well as all the receipts for the materials and labor that came out of our deposit for'alleged' repairs she had to make after I moved out..Also, should we eventually take her to court or will it just be a bunch of headaches with little results?

Dear Donk,

It all depends on how much you can't stand her. I wouldn't bug someone over $100 bucks unless I really needed it and/or thought I stood a good chance of getting it without going to court. Or unless I just wanted to torture them. But I'm lazy like that.

ps: I'm in toading mode at the moment, so let me know if you need a hand in that department.

[Bella]

Never thought of it as learning to walk, Bella dearest.  Thanks, that helps alot.  Alot.

And, I like jello, I'm fairly certain there are no mind control drugs in it (I know, thats what they want me to think), mainly because I stuck my head out the window of my car and yelled "PENIS!" at the Old People sitting outside an Icecream shop.  Twas fun.

You're welcome. It just takes time to work these things out. That's the real advantage in being a zombie - it gives so much extra time.

As for the jello, you should be fine after all. Why didn't you tell me you stuck your head out the window and yelled "PENIS!"? This changes my answer. That was really a spider disguised as bellybutton lint you saw. Kind of like a hermitcrab, only with lint instead of a shell.

[Donkeyotay]

Dear Bella....Should DS#3 and I harass our former landlady over the 100 bucks she still owes us as well as all the receipts for the materials and labor that came out of our deposit for'alleged' repairs she had to make after I moved out..Also, should we eventually take her to court or will it just be a bunch of headaches with little results?

Dear Donk,

It all depends on how much you can't stand her. I wouldn't bug someone over $100 bucks unless I really needed it and/or thought I stood a good chance of getting it without going to court. Or unless I just wanted to torture them. But I'm lazy like that.

ps: I'm in toading mode at the moment, so let me know if you need a hand in that department.

Well..potentially we could sue her for double our deposit, which would be like 1200+...She has been totally rude and demenaing to DS#3 on the phone, ask Demonica...She gace us a bogus list of repairs with no receipts for her costs and according to IL renters laws..she is upposed toprovide us with all the receipts from repairs and what not within 30 days after moving out..It has been waaaay longer than that..Plus, we caught her in a lie or two so, we feel that she is being shady...Plus, I think she kept a piece of art I left there by accident which pissed me off..Basically she is shady and thinks she can get away with shorting us 100 bucks and lying to us about costs for damages..If you wanna toad her..Please please do..Her name is Celeste Bennet

[Guido Finucci]

Dear Bella,

I have a friend who is going through a difficult patch. I have been all supportive and she even commented about how fantastic I was being.

Thing is, she is casting herself more and more as a victim and I am worries that she is not dealing with stuff and coming to me as some sort of attention thing.

I tried talking to her about it but the conversation tuned out to be mostly about how she felt I wasn't being supportive enough anymore even though she had no idea what she wanted or needed from me.

How does one stop someone from running away from their own issues and playing the passive aggressive victim all over one?

G.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

I have a friend who is going through a difficult patch. I have been all supportive and she even commented about how fantastic I was being.

Thing is, she is casting herself more and more as a victim and I am worries that she is not dealing with stuff and coming to me as some sort of attention thing.

I tried talking to her about it but the conversation tuned out to be mostly about how she felt I wasn't being supportive enough anymore even though she had no idea what she wanted or needed from me.

How does one stop someone from running away from their own issues and playing the passive aggressive victim all over one?

G.

Dear Guido,

The only effective method I've ever found for stopping someone from running away with their own issues and playing the passive aggressive victim is to turn the tables a bit. My own method is to listen to them for a few minutes and then say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, what did you say? I'm having a hard time paying proper attention because I'm so upset today. Did I mention how happy I am you came over today? Well, I am. Because you've suffered too, and I just know you'll understand what I'm gong through. Let me tell you what happened to me and then we can figure out what to do about your problem, k?"

Then I go on and on about my own troubles, greatly exaggerated, btw. If they're especially annoying, I wait until halfway through my spiel and then announce that I sure hope they don't catch this nasty cold/flu/stomach ache/whatever that I suddenly came down with. They usually can't wait to get the hell away from me and wait a while before trying it on me again. Sometimes, however, you gotta get tough and either call them or show up at their house to tell them all about your latest problem. It's amazing how willing these people are to take up all your time and attention, but the second you ask for reciprocation, they move on to their next victim. They aren't bad people and they mean well, but they're energy vampires and you can't let them suck you dry.

[gnimbley]

Oooo. Energy vampires. Nasty. You know, Guido, you could strike them
in the head with a stick and call them grasshopper. Sometimes works.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Dear Bella,

Ninjas or pirates? Also, why?

Sincerely,
-Fnordiscordia

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

Ninjas or pirates? Also, why?

Sincerely,
-Fnordiscordia

Dear Fnordiscordia,

Wow, this is a hard question. Ninjas are tough and stealthy and cool - my sister Zorga is a ninja and runs around her neighborhood at night.  On the other hand, pirates are tough and in-your-face and cool.

I gotta go with the pirates  just because I joined Hotsuma's pirate crew a long time ago. Pirates win because Bella is a pirate. Sorry about that, Zorga.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Psh! That's such a biased answer. I'm going to write Abby for a second opinion.

[Bella]

Yeah, it was totally biased, wasn't it?

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Yeah    I wouldn't have even asked if I knew you were a pirate, that's like asking a pirate if pirates are cooler than ninjas... wait, that is asking a pirate if pirates are cooler than ninjas.

[Bella]

Yeah    I wouldn't have even asked if I knew you were a pirate, that's like asking a pirate if pirates are cooler than ninjas... wait, that is asking a pirate if pirates are cooler than ninjas.

Exactly :P

Part of me feels sorry for you, but the other evil pirate part, just feels "mwahahaha! Avast me hearties."