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ITT: Best Posts of the Day

Started by Cramulus, April 13, 2007, 11:33:09 PM

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Eater of Clowns

Quote from: Demolition Squid on December 18, 2014, 03:11:09 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 18, 2014, 02:41:35 PM
Quote from: BrotherPrickle on December 17, 2014, 07:06:29 PM
Squid in the wild die soon after reproduction, on purpose. When uplifted by humans, ingeniopods were made to be capable of multiple reproductive events without dying. But there's still an instinct down deep in their heritage to have sex and die. It has become a twisted impulse that mashes together a desire for murder/suicide with sex. So, I envision the dark sexuality of the creatures in Lovecraft would resonate, and they'd engage in worship and rituals involving them to hold back these instincts.

Wait a minute...

What squid species die after reproduction in a pre-planned way? Most squid have short lifespans, so they only get one or two cracks at mating seasons, but I think you've got octopuses on the brain here (specifically the giant pacific octopus).

Well. I did say we were prudish about such things, but very well.

Architeuthis explodius, or more commonly, the demolition squid, is known for its tendency to interweave complex displays of explosions into its behavior. Whilst this grants it an obvious advantage in hunting, and assists it in claiming territory in the London sewers where it is most commonly encountered, it does make the mating habits of the species both difficult to observe and highly dangerous for members of the species, observers, and the structural integrity of nearby buildings.

Quite why the demolition squid feels compelled to hunt out unexploded bombs and incorporate them into its mating ritual is a subject hotly contested by scholars of the species. It is believed that it may have come about during the blitz, when several of the species were caught with their pants down during a raid, and the sudden introduction of several tons of explosive force leant a certain 'kick' to proceedings. Now, it seems that mating rights are accorded only to the pair who can accumulate the most 'bang'. Thus the popular slang in artillery units throughout the world, who refer to shelling as 'stirring up the squids' or 'spreading the ink'.

The most convincing argument for the behavior, however, is that it helps to keep territorial conflicts to a minimum. Following the presentation of the largest collection of shells (or 'banging beaks' as they are known in the squid's own community), the lesser squids retreat to their lairs, and detonate their explosives alone. Without the cushioning material of a second squid (and the impact-absorbing 'fluids' excreted during the mating), this results in large sections of London being opened up for new territorial claims. As the squids can't afford the rent in high class areas, and it keeps the property developers in regular business, nobody minds too much. Well, not anyone important anyway.

AND NOW YOU KNOW.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Freeky


Doktor Howl

On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

QuoteThink of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.
Molon Lube

Zenpatista

Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 06, 2018, 04:13:30 AM
On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

QuoteThink of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.

That is far too ridiculously accurate. Angry, balding white men yell frequently where I work. And most of the time I take it stoically like MT. I work in a public university and nothing I have is gold plated. In fact the entire operation is sometimes more similar to the toilet interior rather than any kind of toiled, plated or not. 

Doktor Howl

It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
Molon Lube

minuspace

Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 25, 2018, 05:26:23 PM
It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
:lulz:

Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

LMNO

How did those pics survive the photobucket purge?  I sure as hell didn't buy a subscription.

Cramulus

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Quote from: LMNO on March 18, 2019, 12:01:39 PM
How did those pics survive the photobucket purge?  I sure as hell didn't buy a subscription.

I think photobucket chickened out.. I see a bunch of their old links work again, albeit with a watermark.

Cramulus

Years late, but I am awarding St. Vincent Post of the Day for this gem:


Quote from: Verthaine on September 26, 2005, 11:05:16 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle
Quote from: Verthaine...
There are discordians here that think it is their duty to sow discord and create chaos.And there are those of us who know better...

OK, dude, you know I wouldn't call you out on something if I didn't feel it was not only justified but necessary...

THAT statement is some seriously judgemental bullshit. I shouldn't have to explain why, but if you want me to, I will (in as non-assholish a way as possible, and over PM if you prefer.)

8)
Let me clarify.very few here know how to sow discord that
1-teaches some one a valuable lession
2-creates something positive out of it
3-doesn't make a bad situation worse
4-doesn't blow up in you face.
5-unwilling to face the consequences of wht they sow

and as to creating chaos
1-only eris can create chaos.
2-what people mistake for chaos is actaully drama.

I always thought being a discordian should at least give you an understanding as to when it is nescessary to generate eristic vibe to counteract an area that is heavily infeated with aneristic energy.

:potd:

MMIX

"The ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something we make and could just as easily make differently" David Graeber

Telarus

Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

Fujikoma


FrankFoster

As for me, the best posts are about the shock or other not ordinary news.

Doktor Howl

Quote from: FrankFoster on May 27, 2019, 02:31:36 AM
As for me, the best posts are about the shock or other not ordinary news.

Edgy.
Molon Lube