Author Topic: ITT: Best Posts of the Day  (Read 291417 times)

Eater of Clowns

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1440 on: December 22, 2014, 06:59:19 pm »
Squid in the wild die soon after reproduction, on purpose. When uplifted by humans, ingeniopods were made to be capable of multiple reproductive events without dying. But there's still an instinct down deep in their heritage to have sex and die. It has become a twisted impulse that mashes together a desire for murder/suicide with sex. So, I envision the dark sexuality of the creatures in Lovecraft would resonate, and they'd engage in worship and rituals involving them to hold back these instincts.

Wait a minute...

What squid species die after reproduction in a pre-planned way? Most squid have short lifespans, so they only get one or two cracks at mating seasons, but I think you've got octopuses on the brain here (specifically the giant pacific octopus).

Well. I did say we were prudish about such things, but very well.

Architeuthis explodius, or more commonly, the demolition squid, is known for its tendency to interweave complex displays of explosions into its behavior. Whilst this grants it an obvious advantage in hunting, and assists it in claiming territory in the London sewers where it is most commonly encountered, it does make the mating habits of the species both difficult to observe and highly dangerous for members of the species, observers, and the structural integrity of nearby buildings.

Quite why the demolition squid feels compelled to hunt out unexploded bombs and incorporate them into its mating ritual is a subject hotly contested by scholars of the species. It is believed that it may have come about during the blitz, when several of the species were caught with their pants down during a raid, and the sudden introduction of several tons of explosive force leant a certain 'kick' to proceedings. Now, it seems that mating rights are accorded only to the pair who can accumulate the most 'bang'. Thus the popular slang in artillery units throughout the world, who refer to shelling as 'stirring up the squids' or 'spreading the ink'.

The most convincing argument for the behavior, however, is that it helps to keep territorial conflicts to a minimum. Following the presentation of the largest collection of shells (or 'banging beaks' as they are known in the squid's own community), the lesser squids retreat to their lairs, and detonate their explosives alone. Without the cushioning material of a second squid (and the impact-absorbing 'fluids' excreted during the mating), this results in large sections of London being opened up for new territorial claims. As the squids can't afford the rent in high class areas, and it keeps the property developers in regular business, nobody minds too much. Well, not anyone important anyway.

AND NOW YOU KNOW.
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the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Freeky

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1441 on: May 29, 2015, 05:48:25 am »
Goddammit, DemoSquid.   :lulz: :argh!:
If someone does the “Fine, you’re right, I’m clearly a terrible person, I’m Satan, I’m the worst person alive, I should just die” thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate people and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim.

As a neuroscientist I have to disagree with the perception that anyone is doing mathematical modeling of cognitive intelligence, yet; intelligence as an economist defines it, yes, but economists are worlds away from actual cognition.


Although it is outside the purview of this organization to offer personal advice, we can say -- without assuming any liability -- that previous experience indicates (and recent market studies corroborate) that given the present condition of the marketplace, continuing with your present course of action is likely to result in substantial in

Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1442 on: March 06, 2018, 04:13:30 am »
On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

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Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Zenpatista

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1443 on: March 06, 2018, 05:14:15 am »
On FB today, me talking to Zenpatista:

Quote
Think of my career as Melania Trump, and your career as Melania Trump only without the gold toilets.

That is far too ridiculously accurate. Angry, balding white men yell frequently where I work. And most of the time I take it stoically like MT. I work in a public university and nothing I have is gold plated. In fact the entire operation is sometimes more similar to the toilet interior rather than any kind of toiled, plated or not. 

Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1444 on: August 25, 2018, 05:26:23 pm »
It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

LuciferX

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1445 on: August 26, 2018, 01:54:25 am »
It's not a post from here, but:

As she lay there next to me, completely spent,
one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax...
you're not the first doctor who's ever slept
with one of his patients," but another kept
nagging at me, "Dude, you're a veterinarian."
:lulz:
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Doktor Howl

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I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

LMNO

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1447 on: March 18, 2019, 12:01:39 pm »
How did those pics survive the photobucket purge?  I sure as hell didn't buy a subscription.

Cramulus

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1448 on: March 18, 2019, 12:48:52 pm »
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

How did those pics survive the photobucket purge?  I sure as hell didn't buy a subscription.

I think photobucket chickened out.. I see a bunch of their old links work again, albeit with a watermark.

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1449 on: April 11, 2019, 04:46:58 pm »
Years late, but I am awarding St. Vincent Post of the Day for this gem:


Quote from: East Coast Hustle
Quote from: Verthaine
...
There are discordians here that think it is their duty to sow discord and create chaos.And there are those of us who know better...

OK, dude, you know I wouldn't call you out on something if I didn't feel it was not only justified but necessary...

THAT statement is some seriously judgemental bullshit. I shouldn't have to explain why, but if you want me to, I will (in as non-assholish a way as possible, and over PM if you prefer.)

 8)
Let me clarify.very few here know how to sow discord that
1-teaches some one a valuable lession
2-creates something positive out of it
3-doesn't make a bad situation worse
4-doesn't blow up in you face.
5-unwilling to face the consequences of wht they sow

and as to creating chaos
1-only eris can create chaos.
2-what people mistake for chaos is actaully drama.

I always thought being a discordian should at least give you an understanding as to when it is nescessary to generate eristic vibe to counteract an area that is heavily infeated with aneristic energy.

:potd:

MMIX

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1450 on: April 11, 2019, 05:09:59 pm »
Damn, but I miss Verthaine :(
The opposite of “bonfire” is, presumably, “malice.”

Telarus

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1451 on: April 14, 2019, 08:04:00 pm »
:mittens:
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Fujikoma

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1452 on: April 16, 2019, 12:52:52 pm »
Mittens.

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1453 on: May 27, 2019, 02:31:36 am »
As for me, the best posts are about the shock or other not ordinary news.

Doktor Howl

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Re: ITT: Best Posts of the Day
« Reply #1454 on: May 27, 2019, 05:28:54 am »
As for me, the best posts are about the shock or other not ordinary news.

Edgy.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.