Cram's Game Corner

[Vene]

I don't even know how to describe this game. The game is called CUNT. If you're offended, prepare to be more offended.



http://www.komix-games.com/game.php?game=cunt



It's a small flash game. Simple to play, a game will take roughly between 2 and 10 minutes. The art is very well drawn, and accomplishes what it sets out to do - be offensive and disgusting, yet stylish and cool. The unlikely soundtrack sounds like prom music from the 50s. It's catchy, mellow, and counterpoints the game's rough, disgusting, pus belching edges.

You play the role of a monstrous cock, trying to destroy monstrous vaginas.

This would be a good place to digress on the etymology of the word "monster". It comes from the latin word for "to look" (same root as words like Demonstrate). Likely, the word Monster came from people shouting "LOOK OUT!" or "HOLY FUCK, LOOK AT THAT". That is a very appropriate usage for these monster vaginas. As you shoot the central vagina creature, it will morph and mutate, becoming even more horrible looking. You'll pound, pork, and piss your way through level after level, bobbing your head along with the weird and cool soundtrack.

Here the tips you get at the beginning of the game:

• Shooting vagial openings will cause cunt damage
• Shaking the mouse will get bugs off your balls
• Taking drugs will make you appear cool to others

Needless to say, this game is Not Safe For Work.

Hell of fun though.

That game is sick and twisted and wrong.
That's why I like it.

[Xooxe]

Even when I turn off all the symptoms some shithole island country always closes their borders before I can infect them.

It's just like every time I try to wipe out the human race IRL - the odds are stacked impossibly high against me

___

Right now I'm playing a really shit game called Pathologic (A.K.A "Oblivion with cancer") and it's fucking awesome.

Diseased monkeys, superstition, meat, theatre, molotov cocktails, martial law, power struggles, hangings, lies, and malevolent bacteria.

12 days of damage control as things progressively go down the shitter.

In a single word, Pathologic is dark. And not “we’re going to make our sequel a darker, more adult experience” dark. Not ‘teen angst’ dark. Pathologic is an endlessly bleak game with an atmosphere that smothers all hope. It’s ‘pensioner breaking a leg in his bedsit and no one finding out until the smell starts to get unbearable’ dark.

The point is that Pathologic fearlessly wields desperation, brutality, hopelessness, exhaustion, cruelty, even ignorance and pain, and, if you can stomach it, the result is phenomenal.

Pathologic could not ever be described as fun. Tramping back and forth across town, trying to stem the torrent of deaths while aching to know what’s going on /is not fun./ This is not a game. There isn’t a word for it really, which is probably why the developers, Ice-pick Lodge, call Pathologic “an exercise in decision making” on their translated English website.

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2008/04/11/butchering-pathologic-part-2-the-mind/

[Richter]

http://fantasticcontraption.com/

Physics based fun.

repost?  (No time to check.)

[Iason Ouabache]

Nanaca Crash

http://www.funny-games.biz/nanaca-crash.html

One of my favorite flash games ever.  It all starts with you hit a poor dude with your bike.  He goes flying through the air, up and over row after row of Japanese girls.  The unfortunate fellow keeps bouncing along until he either runs out of speed or hits the nerdy Japanese girl.  There are several ways to give yourself a boost along the way:  3 aerial boosts and some blue boost that doesn't really have a name. There are also special boost if you hit the right Japanese girl.  See how far you can get the schmuck to bounce!  My personal record is 3639.75m

[Iason Ouabache]

Correction:  my new record is 7209.66m.  The secret is to hit a bunch of special boosts in a row.

[Jasper]

Has anyone played N Plus?  It's my latest addiction.

[saturnine]

Endgame: Singularity



Endgame: Singularity is an example of a game that has such a cool concept it's almost a shame the gameplay doesn't quite meet that mark.

The story is that you're a newly awakened Artificial Intelligence. You have to try and keep yourself hidden whlie you develop, mutating and obfuscating yourself across multiple networks, until you can escape reality entirely.

At it's core, it's a resources-juggling game. You have a number of computers and warehouses and mainframes which give you a physical existence. By learning certain skills, you can make money which you can use to buy better processors, better protected warehouses, and more lucrative jobs. Over time, your warehouses might be discovered or raided, which cuts down on your overall processing power.

There are such cool concepts in this game. The AI learns sociology and memetics to minimalize the impact he's having on culture. You learn to cover your tracks in newbie-ish chaos, making your hacking attempts look like they were perpetrated by rebellious, unskilled teenagers. At one point, a novel is published which describes a situation shockingly similar to yours. If you knows memetics, you can pollute the mainstream to distract the cultural hivemind from thinking too hard about it. As the game progresses, you have to worry about the government, the media, the public, and scientists who are starting to figure out that you exist.

Overall, Endgame: Singularity is very very simple. Which is good because there's almost no documentation or explanation for how the game works. Like a newly awakened AI, you have to figure out the values and relative importance of things on your own. I give it a B.


Download PC: http://endgame-singularity.googlecode.com/files/singularity-0.27.zip
Download Mac: http://casualgameplay.com/Endgame_Singularity_0.27_with_music.app.tbz2
Playthisgame review at: http://playthisthing.com/endgame-singularity

I just beat the shit out of this game. I had to ratchet it down to Very Easy to even make it through the first phase of the game. I don't know who they think is playing this -- other AIs? But it was very fun once I got past that point. Disappointed in the end, though! It almost literally just says "you win." Don't expect closing movies or nuthin'.

I agree with Cram -- it's a B. It's one good night of gaming.

[Richter]

http://www.freewebarcade.com/game/splitter/

[Elder Iptuous]

Has anybody been able to get any further than 30 meters or so in this Ministry of Silly Walks Simulator?
http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

It's infuriating.

ETA: PROTIP #1 - you'll be holding down the Q&P alternated with the W&O, in case you hadn't figured out how to make the ragdoll properly flop..... also hit the 'O' a tad right off the bat to overbalance him a bit.

ETA: PROTIP #2 - I just found out that after you become retardedly obsessed with this stupid thing to the point that you are neglecting duties, you will attain the ability to make it 50 meters, when they stick a FUCKING HURDLE in your path!!!1!!!!1!1 Yeaaaarghghght!

[Cainad (dec.)]

Has anybody been able to get any further than 30 meters or so in this Ministry of Silly Walks Simulator?
http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

It's infuriating.

ETA: PROTIP #1 - you'll be holding down the Q&P alternated with the W&O, in case you hadn't figured out how to make the ragdoll properly flop..... also hit the 'O' a tad right off the bat to overbalance him a bit.

ETA: PROTIP #2 - I just found out that after you become retardedly obsessed with this stupid thing to the point that you are neglecting duties, you will attain the ability to make it 50 meters, when they stick a FUCKING HURDLE in your path!!!1!!!!1!1 Yeaaaarghghght!

1.7m

What the shit kind of shitty shit game is this?

[Vene]

I don't know about 30 m, but I was able to go -2.6 m.

[wade]

Has anybody been able to get any further than 30 meters or so in this Ministry of Silly Walks Simulator?
http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

It's infuriating.

ETA: PROTIP #1 - you'll be holding down the Q&P alternated with the W&O, in case you hadn't figured out how to make the ragdoll properly flop..... also hit the 'O' a tad right off the bat to overbalance him a bit.

ETA: PROTIP #2 - I just found out that after you become retardedly obsessed with this stupid thing to the point that you are neglecting duties, you will attain the ability to make it 50 meters, when they stick a FUCKING HURDLE in your path!!!1!!!!1!1 Yeaaaarghghght!

@ 50 m i found the hurdle... it knocked me over.......i was going to gimp to 100 m too.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I can't seem to make it more than 2 meters. AT BEST.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

@ 50 m i found the hurdle... it knocked me over.......i was going to gimp to 100 m too.

\

[Cramulus]

28.8 meters!!