Sorry I'm late

[And]

I'd have been here sooner, but I

A. Forgot what my name was.

B. Had a layover in JFK

C.  A colored light halfway between blue and green,

D. As a dietary supplement offering the consistent benefits of exact potency, the carving saws, drill, and pounce wheel are SHARP.

E. +

[hooplala]

You will be docked pay.

Also, D didn't seem to make any sense.

[And]

You will be docked pay.

Also, D didn't seem to make any sense.

I couldn't think of anything good, so I stole a line off a Passion Flower Extract bottle and combined it with one from a pumpkin carving kit.  Do I still get free coffee in the break room?

[Cain]

I don't think you're really sorry.

But that's OK, we have ways of changing that.

[And]

I don't think you're really sorry.

But that's OK, we have ways of changing that.

Are you going to tell me about all of the interesting and exciting things I missed because I didn't show up on time?  Or are you going to beat me about the head with a jagged rock?

Maybe I'll end up sorry I wasn't later.

[hooplala]

You will be docked pay.

Also, D didn't seem to make any sense.

I couldn't think of anything good, so I stole a line off a Passion Flower Extract bottle and combined it with one from a pumpkin carving kit.  Do I still get free coffee in the break room?

There's free coffee?!

[And]

There's free coffee?!

There was the last time I wasn't here.  Unfortunately, you have to add the heat and coffee beans yourself.  Just look for the thing that appears to be a water fountain.

[Cain]

I don't think you're really sorry.

But that's OK, we have ways of changing that.

Are you going to tell me about all of the interesting and exciting things I missed because I didn't show up on time?  Or are you going to beat me about the head with a jagged rock?

Maybe I'll end up sorry I wasn't later.

Well, the latter is closer to the truth.  Try to not let your eyes bleed all over the carpet:

[And]

It'll take more than hairy lifeguards to cause mine eyes to bleed.  In fact, short of causing my monitor to explode and send glass shards into my eye sockets, you'll have a much easier time with my brain.  It's softer, too!

[Cramulus]

forget the brain

we need your liver

mine has the consistency and texture of a football



need something fresher

[Cain]

It'll take more than hairy lifeguards to cause mine eyes to bleed.  In fact, short of causing my monitor to explode and send glass shards into my eye sockets, you'll have a much easier time with my brain.  It's softer, too!

So you say, but you and I know you're wiping away drops of blood from your keyboard even as you typed this reply, muttering "oh why, in the name of all that is holy, WHY?!"

[And]

It'll take more than hairy lifeguards to cause mine eyes to bleed.  In fact, short of causing my monitor to explode and send glass shards into my eye sockets, you'll have a much easier time with my brain.  It's softer, too!

So you say, but you and I know you're wiping away drops of blood from your keyboard even as you typed this reply, muttering "oh why, in the name of all that is holy, WHY?!"

I must admit, that is far more entertaining than "Oh hey, David Hasselhoff naked again."

[Cainad (dec.)]

Too bad you're late; pool's closed for the evening. Check it out tomorrow.

[Cramulus]

you're way late! Discordia's over, we had to make it up from scratch
again

check out the Black Iron Prison, OMGASM, the Party at Limbo Peak, ColbertGASM, etc etc etc
do you want to do awesome projects? It's not quite too late
project potluck


what's next?

[Eater of Clowns]

Well friend, I sort've expected you sooner and the situation has turned grim.  All sides are accosted by angry and revenge seeking vegans, Christians, politicians, wiccans, members of the troll anti-defamation league, and, of course, Vermont dairy farmers.  We held them off thanks to the confused and half-hearted self sacrifice of our number who had failed to grasp what was going on, making them perfect candidates for the front line.

So while your timing isn't perfect, frankly my lad I thank Eris you've arrived.  Now let me know when the rest of your battalion is due and we can figure out how best to accommodate them.