Author Topic: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)  (Read 55545 times)

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #150 on: November 30, 2018, 12:43:02 am »
"Memento mori," she said sweetly, smiling as she pulled the trigger.

As the hideous monstrosity exploded, showering the guests with octopus guts and tentacles, I had a sobering thought.  "Next year it's my turn to host the dinner party; how will I ever top this?"
"When I say 'engineering', I have unreasonable expectations.  It must - as you know - look good in PADS AND give you plenty of help ducking and weaving in meetings.  But it must also, at some distant point in time, function.  If it does not, then you must accept that you are not in fact an engineer but instead an MBA.  Hang your head in SHAME, sinner!"

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #151 on: December 28, 2018, 04:53:33 am »
Now I will read a haiku.
"Man from Nantucket
does autofellatio.
Very long penis."
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

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Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #152 on: January 17, 2019, 06:21:36 pm »
I came. I saw. I retreated.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #153 on: January 17, 2019, 11:02:53 pm »
Peleus, Thetis.
You are wed.
Hey...what's with the apple?
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #154 on: February 02, 2019, 04:07:59 am »
Graffiti

"Listen and Learn."
Spoke the nervous T.V.
Sat to dry in the cold, an outside philosophy.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2019, 04:24:49 am by Al Qədic »
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #155 on: February 28, 2019, 11:06:19 pm »
Two examples based on Malaysian trickster deity Pa Pandir (literally "Daddy Moron")

Man wants to catch birds, so he boils tree juice, and covers himself in homemade glue. Man catches birds, which stick to him and make him fly, making people think he is a spirit king. Local king wants his daughter to marry the sticky birdman, who is soon found out, and ran out of town.

Man challenges the king to a cock fight. Man wants good clothes, so he wears a suit of newspaper. Man is happy when his cock wins, but his clothes fly off and everyone laughs at his nakednes.

Seriously, this guy's section of my mythology textbook is just a bunch of humorous vignettes and I love it.
There is no reason to,
Be ashamed of poetry. It,
Is natural. But you should,
Still do it in private,
And wash your hands afterward.

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #156 on: July 02, 2019, 04:58:12 pm »
She cast her gaze in my direction with those wide, seductive eyes, and gave me her sultry, patented, come hither look. Throughly enthralled, I approached and gently kissed her succulent, offered lips. Then, she crossed her legs and broke my glasses.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #157 on: July 06, 2019, 10:31:29 am »
I want to force ISIS and the Klan to be parts of the same human centipede. Extremists of different faiths will alternate in this construction. They will be forced to eat each other's shit.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #158 on: July 06, 2019, 08:42:13 pm »
A despondent young man left his home in search of enlightenment. After a long, perilous journey, the young man met a Discordian. The Discordian made fun of him.

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #159 on: July 07, 2019, 05:23:02 am »
Glittering bayonets fixed, the Royal Marines charged the Security Scanner Post at Baltimore/Washington International Airport. The patriotic, red-blooded American, citizen soldiers of the Continental Army held their ground, and turned away wave after wave of the imperialist invaders, until the “lobster backs,” with heavy losses, gave up and slunk away to their wooden ships.  And, to this day, the Stars and Stripes flies proudly above Fort McHenry, except on nights went the illumination lights go out due to infrastructure problems with the power grid.

TastyCle

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #160 on: July 08, 2019, 02:07:06 pm »
There once was a boy named Robin
who was legally blind.
He didn't hear the brain coming.
It hit him from behind.
Very painful to get rid of, why even bother.

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #161 on: July 09, 2019, 02:01:48 am »
The battle-weary officers of the Border Patrol wavered, as the vast, alien hordes broke through their weakened, defensive perimeter. Undeterred in the face of near certain death, a lone cadet, ignoring excruciating pain radiating from his bone spur afflicted feet, limped bravely to the forefront. And it was while rallying his completely non-xenophobic band of brothers forward to close the breach, that he uttered those unforgettable words, “Remember Bowling Green!”

Doktor Howl

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #162 on: July 09, 2019, 02:55:56 am »
The battle-weary officers of the Border Patrol wavered, as the vast, alien hordes broke through their weakened, defensive perimeter. Undeterred in the face of near certain death, a lone cadet, ignoring excruciating pain radiating from his bone spur afflicted feet, limped bravely to the forefront. And it was while rallying his completely non-xenophobic band of brothers forward to close the breach, that he uttered those unforgettable words, “Remember Bowling Green!”

:mittens:
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tyrannosaurus vex

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #163 on: July 09, 2019, 04:48:16 am »
It was unseasonably warm on the streets that night, but it was the wrong kind of warm. The kind of warm that enhances every unpleasant smell but leaves the uncomfortable Winter chill in your bones. Or maybe, Brimhall mused, it just seemed that way because he was wrapped up in that other guy's carcass to get out if the sleet.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #164 on: July 10, 2019, 12:04:40 am »
“For the life of me, and I’ll never know how to explain it, when I met that young man, I felt like I was the one shaking hands with the president,” then President Ronald W. Reagan said, after meeting future President Donald J. Trump. “A chill ran down my spine,” the former president continued, “After all, people voted me into the highest office in the land for hosting Death Valley Days. Even with my Alzheimer's, I could easily imagine what all of those dumb-asses would do if a reality TV star ran for the Presidency of the United States.”