Author Topic: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)  (Read 53598 times)

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #150 on: November 30, 2018, 12:43:02 am »
"Memento mori," she said sweetly, smiling as she pulled the trigger.

As the hideous monstrosity exploded, showering the guests with octopus guts and tentacles, I had a sobering thought.  "Next year it's my turn to host the dinner party; how will I ever top this?"
You will cooperate with the state, for the good of the state and your own survival. You will confess to the crimes of which you have been accused. You will be released and returned to society a productive citizen if you cooperate. Resistance will be punished. Cooperation will be rewarded.   --"Intersections in Real Time"

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #151 on: December 28, 2018, 04:53:33 am »
Now I will read a haiku.
"Man from Nantucket
does autofellatio.
Very long penis."
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #152 on: January 17, 2019, 06:21:36 pm »
I came. I saw. I retreated.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #153 on: January 17, 2019, 11:02:53 pm »
Peleus, Thetis.
You are wed.
Hey...what's with the apple?
O, the Frog fell down to Tehran.
To fix the broken hourglass in the sun.
From the gates, to the city, to the market so pretty,
They'd not leave until they were done.

Said the Goddess to the Frog,
"You'd best be moving along."
So sayeth the water, the words of Anahita,
But the Frog just made themselves a bog.

And lo, they said:

"May I have your shoes, miss?
O great Water Goddess,
I've a journey that I need to start."
She responded from her knowing, wise heart.

With this, said the Goddess,
"Go now, take these shoes with."
And covered their webbed feet with glee.
"You'll do good not to disappoint me."

Thank you for completing the free trial. To view the rest of this poem, nag me about it...I might not respond by giving you the rest of it, but when has that ever stopped you?

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #154 on: February 02, 2019, 04:07:59 am »
Graffiti

"Listen and Learn."
Spoke the nervous T.V.
Sat to dry in the cold, an outside philosophy.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2019, 04:24:49 am by Al Qədic »
O, the Frog fell down to Tehran.
To fix the broken hourglass in the sun.
From the gates, to the city, to the market so pretty,
They'd not leave until they were done.

Said the Goddess to the Frog,
"You'd best be moving along."
So sayeth the water, the words of Anahita,
But the Frog just made themselves a bog.

And lo, they said:

"May I have your shoes, miss?
O great Water Goddess,
I've a journey that I need to start."
She responded from her knowing, wise heart.

With this, said the Goddess,
"Go now, take these shoes with."
And covered their webbed feet with glee.
"You'll do good not to disappoint me."

Thank you for completing the free trial. To view the rest of this poem, nag me about it...I might not respond by giving you the rest of it, but when has that ever stopped you?

Al Qədic

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #155 on: February 28, 2019, 11:06:19 pm »
Two examples based on Malaysian trickster deity Pa Pandir (literally "Daddy Moron")

Man wants to catch birds, so he boils tree juice, and covers himself in homemade glue. Man catches birds, which stick to him and make him fly, making people think he is a spirit king. Local king wants his daughter to marry the sticky birdman, who is soon found out, and ran out of town.

Man challenges the king to a cock fight. Man wants good clothes, so he wears a suit of newspaper. Man is happy when his cock wins, but his clothes fly off and everyone laughs at his nakednes.

Seriously, this guy's section of my mythology textbook is just a bunch of humorous vignettes and I love it.
O, the Frog fell down to Tehran.
To fix the broken hourglass in the sun.
From the gates, to the city, to the market so pretty,
They'd not leave until they were done.

Said the Goddess to the Frog,
"You'd best be moving along."
So sayeth the water, the words of Anahita,
But the Frog just made themselves a bog.

And lo, they said:

"May I have your shoes, miss?
O great Water Goddess,
I've a journey that I need to start."
She responded from her knowing, wise heart.

With this, said the Goddess,
"Go now, take these shoes with."
And covered their webbed feet with glee.
"You'll do good not to disappoint me."

Thank you for completing the free trial. To view the rest of this poem, nag me about it...I might not respond by giving you the rest of it, but when has that ever stopped you?

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #156 on: July 02, 2019, 04:58:12 pm »
She cast her gaze in my direction with those wide, seductive eyes, and gave me her sultry, patented, come hither look. Throughly enthralled, I approached and gently kissed her succulent, offered lips. Then, she crossed her legs and broke my glasses.

Prelate Diogenes Shandor

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #157 on: July 06, 2019, 10:31:29 am »
I want to force ISIS and the Klan to be parts of the same human centipede. Extremists of different faiths will alternate in this construction. They will be forced to eat each other's shit.
Praise NHGH! For the tribulation of all sentient beings.

a plague on both your houses -Mercutio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrTGgpWmdZQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVWd7nPjJH8

It is an unfortunate fact that every man who seeks to disseminate knowledge must contend not only against ignorance itself, but against false instruction as well. No sooner do we deem ourselves free from a particularly gross superstition, than we are confronted by some enemy to learning who would plunge us back into the darkness -H.P.Lovecraft

He who fights with monsters must take care lest he thereby become a monster -Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHhrZgojY1Q

You are a fluke of the universe, and whether you can hear it of not the universe is laughing behind your back -Deteriorata

Don't use the email address in my profile, I lost the password years ago

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #158 on: July 06, 2019, 08:42:13 pm »
A despondent young man left his home in search of enlightenment. After a long, perilous journey, the young man met a Discordian. The Discordian made fun of him.

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #159 on: July 07, 2019, 05:23:02 am »
Glittering bayonets fixed, the Royal Marines charged the Security Scanner Post at Baltimore/Washington International Airport. The patriotic, red-blooded American, citizen soldiers of the Continental Army held their ground, and turned away wave after wave of the imperialist invaders, until the “lobster backs,” with heavy losses, gave up and slunk away to their wooden ships.  And, to this day, the Stars and Stripes flies proudly above Fort McHenry, except on nights went the illumination lights go out due to infrastructure problems with the power grid.

TastyCle

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #160 on: July 08, 2019, 02:07:06 pm »
There once was a boy named Robin
who was legally blind.
He didn't hear the brain coming.
It hit him from behind.
Very painful to get rid of, why even bother.

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #161 on: July 09, 2019, 02:01:48 am »
The battle-weary officers of the Border Patrol wavered, as the vast, alien hordes broke through their weakened, defensive perimeter. Undeterred in the face of near certain death, a lone cadet, ignoring excruciating pain radiating from his bone spur afflicted feet, limped bravely to the forefront. And it was while rallying his completely non-xenophobic band of brothers forward to close the breach, that he uttered those unforgettable words, “Remember Bowling Green!”

Doktor Howl

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #162 on: July 09, 2019, 02:55:56 am »
The battle-weary officers of the Border Patrol wavered, as the vast, alien hordes broke through their weakened, defensive perimeter. Undeterred in the face of near certain death, a lone cadet, ignoring excruciating pain radiating from his bone spur afflicted feet, limped bravely to the forefront. And it was while rallying his completely non-xenophobic band of brothers forward to close the breach, that he uttered those unforgettable words, “Remember Bowling Green!”

:mittens:
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, shattered underpance lies,
With blown elastic, and exploded back,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Doktor Howl, Spag of Spags:
Look on my ass, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

tyrannosaurus vex

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #163 on: July 09, 2019, 04:48:16 am »
It was unseasonably warm on the streets that night, but it was the wrong kind of warm. The kind of warm that enhances every unpleasant smell but leaves the uncomfortable Winter chill in your bones. Or maybe, Brimhall mused, it just seemed that way because he was wrapped up in that other guy's carcass to get out if the sleet.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Brother Mythos

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Re: Very Short Stories (3 sentences)
« Reply #164 on: July 10, 2019, 12:04:40 am »
“For the life of me, and I’ll never know how to explain it, when I met that young man, I felt like I was the one shaking hands with the president,” then President Ronald W. Reagan said, after meeting future President Donald J. Trump. “A chill ran down my spine,” the former president continued, “After all, people voted me into the highest office in the land for hosting Death Valley Days. Even with my Alzheimer's, I could easily imagine what all of those dumb-asses would do if a reality TV star ran for the Presidency of the United States.”