Rev Roger, Sermon #63: Too Old to Rock N Roll

[fomenter]

sound track http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2704914069624298394

Do you feel that?
Ohhhh shit...

Wah ah ah ah
Wah ah ah ah

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me.

I can see inside you the sickness is rising
It seems that all that was good has died
Oh, no. The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me.

BOBBY, WILL YA GIVE IT TO ME?

Wah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up, come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Why can't you just fuck off and die
And get down with the sickness
FUCK YOU, I don't need this shit
I'm down with the sickness
You stupid, sadistic, abusive fucking whore
Get down with the sickness

Here it comes
Get ready to die

Get ready to die.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't know why the fuck I bother.

I really don't.  I rant to get an idea across, or a concept, and the thread turns into "I GET LAIDED WITH BARELY LEGAL HOS" and "I POSTED BLACKFACE".

Fuck this.  Instead of trying to write a rant, I'm just going to open threads that say "COME SHIT IN HERE".

Fuck you both.  Fuck you in the ear.  Get cancer and die.

I need to hang out with you again Rog. I'm losing my hate.

Need.....to.....refill..........loathing!

Then get out of the fucking house.  If I can drag my fucked up, traitorous body out to the damn gamestore, so can you.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know, the cruelest joke that God ever played on some unsuspecting primates is that, by the time you have shit figured out, it's too late.  You're falling apart at the fucking seams, and all you can do is watch clueless younger people fuck things up the same way you did.  Youth is wasted on the young.  If you bastards knew what I know, if you had an inkling of how truly fucked up you CAN be, you'd be too BUSY to be upset about ANYTHING. 

But isn't that the other half of the joke?  When you're young enough to ENJOY shit, you can't AFFORD it...and then when you finally have MONEY, it's too fucking late.  You are no longer pretty.  Bits that should be stationary move around when they shouldn't.  Gravity has it's way with you, like the cheap fucking whore you turned out to be.

It's a bitch.  You're too fucking old to rock n roll, and too goddamn young to die.  God has given you just enough time to decide what you like, you know, you figure out you like cheap cigars and certain types of food, and then BAM!  You get told that if you HAVE these few things you like, you'll fucking DIE.  How's that for a punchline, right?  Fuckers...if I was convinced I WOULD die, I'd keep doing what I like, and FUCK THEM ALL.  But that's not what would happen, is it?  No, I'd just wind up not getting air for 5 minutes or so, and turn into a sausage creature...a lump of meat that sits there, bloated, for years on the shelf before finally dying like a decent person ought to do.

I AM NOT FUCKING HAVING THIS!  This is BULLSHIT!  Who the FUCK has a Goddamned HEART ATTACK at 40?  Fucking PISSES ME OFF until I get those little sparklies in my eyes, you know the ones. 

But no, I suppose I ought to fucking calm down and obey their diets, and accept that I will never, ever again get to enjoy a cheap cigar.  I suppose I ought to be GRATEFUL that all I got was a warning shot from a God who did everything fucking BACKWARDS, and the only thing I have left to look forward to is being a BIG PAIN IN THE ASS when I get old.  And I will.  Oh, yes.

Because if my calculations are right, and the doctors know their shit, I should last 50 more years.  That's 50 years to store up BILE AND HATE and take it out on anyone unfortunate enough to come within the arc of my reach.  Especially those less than half my age.  Bastards.  All bastards!  You fuckers have bodies like RUBBER BANDS, and what the FUCK are you doing with them?  Why the FUCK aren't you out having weird sex with perverts?  I would, if they'd fucking let me, and if I wasn't a 40 year old fucking train wreck.

Goddammit.

Or kill me.

Roger, you are the best.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think whether or not you can bang teenagers was the point of the rant.

My bad - I made a tongue in cheek, throwaway comment, forgetting that it might inspire our resident motivational councillor to try and make me feel good about himself 

Never you mind... the young ones are so cute, before life gets them.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is something that scares the shit out of me. I have spent my early twenties studying and leading a fairly monastic life. Theres never time to do all the stuff I want to do.

I don't think whether or not you can bang teenagers was the point of the rant.

He ALWAYS drags it back to something similar. something about being insecure and needing us to know about the insignificant shit in his life.

Ok, look, I apoligise for once again making this about "me" and my insignificant details in my life.

This has just officially though become my favourate TGRR rant EVER though, for more reasons they you guys would care about since its "insignificant" anyway.

oh man this post totally reminds me of the time i was fucking this chick

Don't despair dude you can totally do that shit again. Let me teach you how. I , like, fuck chicks all the time.

Ah if only you guys knew the truth, then you'd know why I'm sitting here with a big stupid grin on my face not caring that you're making fun of my character.

Nobody fucking cares.

That's the thing... grown-ups have sex ALL THE TIME. Did you know that? It stops being a thing to brag about after you grow up. I got laid twice yesterday. Big fucking deal.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger, you are the best.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dude, I don't think age or prettiness matters when it comes to pulling young chicks.

Who the fuck wants young chicks?

They don't know what the fuck they're doing.  They may THINK otherwise, but it's the sad and sorry truth.

This is generally also true of guys under 30.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

people can still be picking up teenagers even in their 40's

[Von Melee]

I don't know why the fuck I bother.

I really don't.  I rant to get an idea across, or a concept, and the thread turns into "I GET LAIDED WITH BARELY LEGAL HOS" and "I POSTED BLACKFACE".

Fuck this.  Instead of trying to write a rant, I'm just going to open threads that say "COME SHIT IN HERE".

Fuck you both.  Fuck you in the ear.  Get cancer and die.

I need to hang out with you again Rog. I'm losing my hate.

Need.....to.....refill..........loathing!

Then get out of the fucking house.  If I can drag my fucked up, traitorous body out to the damn gamestore, so can you.

Pick me the fuck up Thursday, and I will get to the goddamn fucking gamestore.

Dirty stinkpig!!!

[BADGE OF HONOR]

I'm sorry I missed the drama, but the rant had a proper effect on me.  I wanna go run around tearing up the town while I still can. 

[Cramulus]

You know, the cruelest joke that God ever played on some unsuspecting primates is that, by the time you have shit figured out, it's too late.  You're falling apart at the fucking seams, and all you can do is watch clueless younger people fuck things up the same way you did.  Youth is wasted on the young.  If you bastards knew what I know, if you had an inkling of how truly fucked up you CAN be, you'd be too BUSY to be upset about ANYTHING. 

But isn't that the other half of the joke?  When you're young enough to ENJOY shit, you can't AFFORD it...and then when you finally have MONEY, it's too fucking late.  You are no longer pretty.  Bits that should be stationary move around when they shouldn't.  Gravity has it's way with you, like the cheap fucking whore you turned out to be.

It's a bitch.  You're too fucking old to rock n roll, and too goddamn young to die.  God has given you just enough time to decide what you like, you know, you figure out you like cheap cigars and certain types of food, and then BAM!  You get told that if you HAVE these few things you like, you'll fucking DIE.  How's that for a punchline, right?  Fuckers...if I was convinced I WOULD die, I'd keep doing what I like, and FUCK THEM ALL.  But that's not what would happen, is it?  No, I'd just wind up not getting air for 5 minutes or so, and turn into a sausage creature...a lump of meat that sits there, bloated, for years on the shelf before finally dying like a decent person ought to do.

I AM NOT FUCKING HAVING THIS!  This is BULLSHIT!  Who the FUCK has a Goddamned HEART ATTACK at 40?  Fucking PISSES ME OFF until I get those little sparklies in my eyes, you know the ones. 

But no, I suppose I ought to fucking calm down and obey their diets, and accept that I will never, ever again get to enjoy a cheap cigar.  I suppose I ought to be GRATEFUL that all I got was a warning shot from a God who did everything fucking BACKWARDS, and the only thing I have left to look forward to is being a BIG PAIN IN THE ASS when I get old.  And I will.  Oh, yes.

Because if my calculations are right, and the doctors know their shit, I should last 50 more years.  That's 50 years to store up BILE AND HATE and take it out on anyone unfortunate enough to come within the arc of my reach.  Especially those less than half my age.  Bastards.  All bastards!  You fuckers have bodies like RUBBER BANDS, and what the FUCK are you doing with them?  Why the FUCK aren't you out having weird sex with perverts?  I would, if they'd fucking let me, and if I wasn't a 40 year old fucking train wreck.

Goddammit.

Or kill me.

thanks for that rog, that does make me feel the fire under my ass to DO SHIT NOW

and I'm really glad you're feeling better. I knew that one day your little heart would finally burst like a beehive cracked with a stick. And you survived! and lo, the peasants rejoiced, or were vexed, as was their custom.







(...not yet)

[P3nT4gR4m]

LAWL! LMNO looks so fucking pious in that womp! 

[LMNO]

What's odd is that's the pic where I'm standing at the podium in the White House briefing room.

[AFK]

What the heck were you doing there?