Bridge Deconstruction Ahead

[Arafelis]

Discordians are prohibited from believing what they read.




Fifth Pentabarf.

Dogmatist.

[LMNO]

I don't believe you.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I find following memetic evolution fascinating, and so to some extent, I'm doing this for my own edification.  However, I thought it might also be useful for anyone who missed the whole exchange.  The posts are largely in chronological order, where possible attributed to their owner.  (Obviously posts cited from The Cellar are difficult to properly cite.)  Some formatting has been changed, and in a couple cases I tried to provide additional context to a post.

Also this was compiled by me from my point of view, and is therefore, insofar as a series of quotes can admit bias, is a biased piece of shit.

Why would anyone try to hate the piece before reading it.

I appreciate your producing this work and kopylefting it for distribution.

Another excellent read!

It must be nice having being your own cheerleader.

I'm not sure how to feel about the proposition I'm cheerleading myself.  On the one hand, it's funny.  On the other hand, it kind of insults my capacity for subterfuge to do something so quickly and blatantly.  On the prehensile tail, I feel like it would be best to give Dove the benefit of the doubt, since if he isn't me, he'll be taking flak for something that's not his fault.

If he never posts again, go on thinking whatever.  But if he posts something different, don't blame me for it.  Or credit him with any of the stuff I've posted.

Actually,  I think I might, because "Dove" came along just a little too conveniently, and only posted in threads in which you took a great interest.

So far, you've spent the last few days taking swings at me.  That's fine, I like to brawl.  But for fuck's sake don't be passive-aggressive about it.  If you want a flamewar, just say so.

Your point of view has very little value, unfortunately.  

However, I have done an IP locate on both of you, and Dove seems to be from Florida.  And you seem to be from The Cellar.  

It's okay, though.  If I was a Cellar Dwellar, I'd find a new board to post at, too.

Just did an IP locator.

Welcome back.  

The Cellar Crew is always good for a laugh.

?  The term isn't anywhere else in the archives.

Uh huh.  You just happen to live on the same street as the Cellar member who posted here as "Red Shirt Reilly".

On the same block.

I'm still not quite following the cellar metaphor.  Is this a geographic region, another forum, a website, a lifestyle...?

Don't be disingenuous, "Red Shirt Riley".

My only real question is, what triggered this invasion? Are your dimwit friends coming along shortly to serve as backup, or is this a solo mission?

Found it.

Hmmm.

Action Required to Activate Membership for The Cellar‏
From:    The Cellar (undertoad@gmail.com)
Sent:    Tue 6/09/09 8:26 PM
To:    noneuklid@hotmail.com

Dear Arafelis,

Thank you for registering at the The Cellar. Before we can activate your account one last step must be taken to complete your registration.

A Modest Proposal
Hello! I have a proposal to make to the bored.

I've recently joined up with web board over at principiadiscordia.com. Now even though I've never posted here before (wink wink, nudge nudge), there seems to be some accident of circumstance that has led at least two of the members of said board to conclude that I am the vanguard of an invasion force from -- you guessed it -- The Cellar!

Not being one to disappoint, I thought it might be entertaining if you and I manufactured such an invasion. After all, what could be better than creating a conspiracy for the "benefit" of the Discordian?

I'm not looking to encourage anyone to troll their board, per se. Just, you know, create an account (or reactivate an old one), make a couple posts, leave when you're bored of it. I post under the same name there as here, so if you'd like to elaborate on the conspiracy elements, feel free to make cryptic comments to any of my posts and I'll play along. Or don't, it's up to you.

This can all be in good fun. See you when I see you! (I'll check replies to this post, but I'm primarily following the PD boards.)

I really don't think Arafelis hangs at the Cellar. Of course, I only know him as noneuklid from Convert_Me, so I could be wrong.

Shhh!  I was hoping they'd forget all about knowing where I came from.

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=20433

Or you could just go back over there and never come back. PD is a lot like VD around here, something we want nothing to do with. No thanks.
Oh and Fuck Cancer!

And...BUSTED.

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?p=572226#post572226

NICE.

I don't suppose if I asked really nicely, you'd pretend to be surprised if anyone actually came over?  I was trying to give you and Nigel the conspiracy you were looking for.

Sadly, however, they don't seem interested.  =/

he failed to start a war with the cellar

Not a war, a conspiracy.

But they don't seem to have much of a sense of humour over there.

porridge

I post under the same name there as here, so if you'd like to elaborate on the conspiracy elements, feel free to make cryptic comments to any of my posts and I'll play along.

Wait, did arafelis use the same username on both fora? hmmm.

Not a war, a conspiracy.

Your boy came over here indicating/hinting that he has posted here in the past. Probably under another name. Would anyone here be surprised? Absolutely not.

Trolling this board is like trying to attack a stoner by force feeding him pot

Oh, its trollable.  I can think of a few ways...few things would stand up to a well executed Batman Gambit or something with experience at pulling off Xanatos Gambits...in short, someone at least as smart and experienced as me.

But if you wanted to do a good job of it, this is a textbook example of how to not go about it.

Pfft.  I'm wondering if there's a slim possibility that, given that I said there I didn't want anyone to come over and troll the board, anyone's considered the idea that maybe I was not, in fact, trying to troll either board.

The better plan would have been not trolling this site until you grokked it. Most Discordians that show up here try to troll, but they use the same tools and concepts that many Discordians here use, so the troll is generally transparent.

That's pretty much it.  Just to finish this out, I'd like to share the exchange which I found most amusing from the whole thing:

Originally Posted by Undertoad  
We must face it, we're a bunch of goddamn pussies.
I'm not sure I agree with your conclusion, but granting it for the sake of argument, I don't believe your statement is true. By the very nature of pussy-tude, pussies can never actually face the fact that they're pussies. That would be a very difficult and self-critical thing to do. I submit that, by its nature, such a realization is un-pussy-ish. If we are a bunch of pussies, the last thing we will do is face that fact.

Holy shit that's unreadable.  Hmm.  Let's see how much that can be fixed.

WTF is all of this shit?

[Arafelis]

It's a story I wrote.  You helped.

Do you like it?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Too many horizontal lines.

[Arafelis]

Yeah.  I'm working on that.

[MMIX]

It may be best to simply drop this discussion then... generally speaking that seems to end these kinds of shitstorms. I agree with Cram, I've never seen the OP of a thread like this 'win' whatever 'win' may mean.

Nothing is a mistake. There's no win and no fail, there's only make. John Cage

    so what are you making today . . .

[AFK]

Why is it that people never believe that I do what I say I'm doing?  If there's a point I'm trying to make with the OP, I think that would be it.

Seriously.  I'm not hiding anything.  I don't have a complex motivation.  I'm almost completely uninterested in how most you feel about me, and I have no interest in trying to extend my reach into your emotional lives (except, occasionally, through actual pieces rather than forum bullshitting).  I am posting here entirely because some people have made a case that this is where Discordianism is Really Doing Shit.

I'd like to be believed, but my motivations and course of action do not depend on it.

What can we do to make you completely uninterested?  I have a couple of hours left to kill. 

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Why is it that people never believe that I do what I say I'm doing?  If there's a point I'm trying to make with the OP, I think that would be it.

Seriously.  I'm not hiding anything.  I don't have a complex motivation.  I'm almost completely uninterested in how most you feel about me, and I have no interest in trying to extend my reach into your emotional lives (except, occasionally, through actual pieces rather than forum bullshitting).  I am posting here entirely because some people have made a case that this is where Discordianism is Really Doing Shit.

I'd like to be believed, but my motivations and course of action do not depend on it.

What can we do to make you completely uninterested?  I have a couple of hours left to kill. 

Sure, cause if you get off on the wrong foot here we'd love to run you off rather than see what happens...

[LMNO]

Suggestion:  Put PD in your bookmarks, and lurk for a while.  You'll soon see if what we "do" is interesting to you.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Suggestion:  Put PD in your bookmarks, and lurk for a while.  You'll soon see if what we "do" is interesting to you.

Good Advice.

Alternatively, start or join an existing project. Any early fail tends to be covered over by stuff that's interesting.

[fomenter]

or learn the hard way make every possible blunder a noob can make and as long as you can show you are learning and stay ahead of the fail curve by  not repeating your mistakes eventually you run out of fail and your ability to contribute will rise to the top..

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I just want it on the record that I have not made my usual offer on Arafelis yet.  However it does look promising and I have some shiny new ammo to try.....  

On a completely seperate note, I did not shoot Wade, he died of his own fail....  

[AFK]

Why is it that people never believe that I do what I say I'm doing?  If there's a point I'm trying to make with the OP, I think that would be it.

Seriously.  I'm not hiding anything.  I don't have a complex motivation.  I'm almost completely uninterested in how most you feel about me, and I have no interest in trying to extend my reach into your emotional lives (except, occasionally, through actual pieces rather than forum bullshitting).  I am posting here entirely because some people have made a case that this is where Discordianism is Really Doing Shit.

I'd like to be believed, but my motivations and course of action do not depend on it.

What can we do to make you completely uninterested?  I have a couple of hours left to kill. 

Sure, cause if you get off on the wrong foot here we'd love to run you off rather than see what happens...

Why is it certain people around here can be cranky with the n00bs without getting too much flak but not others?  

[fomenter]

its your initials Reprimanded When Harassing Noobs