Renamed: GOD. DAMN. IT.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I dont even want to know what the shtis are.

[Freeky]

I dont even want to know what the shtis are.

They are dyslexic shits, which are marginally better than the regular shits, because they aren't explosive.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I dont even want to know what the shtis are.

They are dyslexic shits, which are marginally better than the regular shits, because they aren't explosive.

As long as they're not implosive... those are the worst.

[Freeky]

I dont even want to know what the shtis are.

They are dyslexic shits, which are marginally better than the regular shits, because they aren't explosive.

As long as they're not implosive... those are the worst.

I get all the time these stupid things that are a cross between a reverse belch and a hiccup.  SO PAINFUl.

[Freeky]

    Apparently I was stupid enough to take a class where basic music literacy is expected, and I wasn't expecting to need basic music literacy.

I AM A RETARD.  ALSO, NOT DROPPING CLASS. 

[LMNO]

You have resources here.  Feel free to start Music Ed thread somewhere.

[Freeky]

You have resources here.  Feel free to start Music Ed thread somewhere.

[Freeky]

Can't stop thinking of how that fucking glorified babysitter that's fucking the ex now told me I was raising my kid wrong on Sunday.

Oh, I'm fucking PISSED.  It doesn't help that I didn't sleep last night, or the night before, and now it's already 3 am and I have class in the morning and I'm hungry and there's no food in the house and I'm poor and Some stupid bitch who's known the monkey for like four months is telling me "facts" like kids ought to be ppotty trained no later than age 2, and shit like "since he's a part of my life now I just want to do my part to put him on the right track" and other things like heavy but narrow in diameter metal bars being applied with great force to her fucking spine to show her how, once she's more of a drain on him than an amusement, he'd fucking leave her in a heaertbeat.  Well, maybe.  He might just treat her as part of the furniture until she kills herself.  Which would also solve my rpoblem, which is next thing you know she'll be wanting legal guardianship and who the hell does she think she is?  FUCK.  THAT.  Glorified babysitter whore needs to shut her goddamn mouth.  Someone fucking stab her in the face, or let me do it or something.  God dammit, why can't there actually be poetic justice for real? 

i fucking can't stand it.

[Luna]

Can't stop thinking of how that fucking glorified babysitter that's fucking the ex now told me I was raising my kid wrong on Sunday.

Oh, I'm fucking PISSED.  It doesn't help that I didn't sleep last night, or the night before, and now it's already 3 am and I have class in the morning and I'm hungry and there's no food in the house and I'm poor and Some stupid bitch who's known the monkey for like four months is telling me "facts" like kids ought to be ppotty trained no later than age 2, and shit like "since he's a part of my life now I just want to do my part to put him on the right track" and other things like heavy but narrow in diameter metal bars being applied with great force to her fucking spine to show her how, once she's more of a drain on him than an amusement, he'd fucking leave her in a heaertbeat.  Well, maybe.  He might just treat her as part of the furniture until she kills herself.  Which would also solve my rpoblem, which is next thing you know she'll be wanting legal guardianship and who the hell does she think she is?  FUCK.  THAT.  Glorified babysitter whore needs to shut her goddamn mouth.  Someone fucking stab her in the face, or let me do it or something.  God dammit, why can't there actually be poetic justice for real? 

i fucking can't stand it.

Fuck, Freeky, I'm sorry.   

[Freeky]

Don't want sorry, I want blood.     fucking blood cover the walls and floor and then I'll stand there all horrified at what I did and then she won't fucking say a god damned word any more.

[Luna]

Don't want sorry, I want blood.     fucking blood cover the walls and floor and then I'll stand there all horrified at what I did and then she won't fucking say a god damned word any more.

Clarification:  Fuck, Freeky, I'm sorry I can't reach to hold 'em down for you.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

and shit like "since he's a part of my life now I just want to do my part to put him on the right track"

Stomp on this NOW.  Make it very plain to Bruce that this is going to cause humongous difficulties.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Can't stop thinking of how that fucking glorified babysitter that's fucking the ex now told me I was raising my kid wrong on Sunday.

Oh, I'm fucking PISSED.  It doesn't help that I didn't sleep last night, or the night before, and now it's already 3 am and I have class in the morning and I'm hungry and there's no food in the house and I'm poor and Some stupid bitch who's known the monkey for like four months is telling me "facts" like kids ought to be ppotty trained no later than age 2, and shit like "since he's a part of my life now I just want to do my part to put him on the right track" and other things like heavy but narrow in diameter metal bars being applied with great force to her fucking spine to show her how, once she's more of a drain on him than an amusement, he'd fucking leave her in a heaertbeat.  Well, maybe.  He might just treat her as part of the furniture until she kills herself.  Which would also solve my rpoblem, which is next thing you know she'll be wanting legal guardianship and who the hell does she think she is?  FUCK.  THAT.  Glorified babysitter whore needs to shut her goddamn mouth.  Someone fucking stab her in the face, or let me do it or something.  God dammit, why can't there actually be poetic justice for real? 

i fucking can't stand it.

I had a similar situation with my ex's new girlfriend. I was pissed at her at first, but then soon realized that she thought I was some sort of mental incompetent because that's what he had led her to believe. However, my first thought was "Who the fuck is this no-kids-having bitch to be telling me how to raise my children?"

Here's my advice. Buy an early childhood development book that covers Monkey's age range plus a couple years. Next time you see her, give it to her with a big smile, and say "Since you're going to be part of Monkey's life, I thought it would be helpful if you knew something about childhood development".

And then proceed to communicate with her exclusively about any childrearing issues that come up until she gets overwhelmed and intimidated. Practice laughing condescendingly, so that when she says moronic things like "kids should be potty-trained by age two" you can just burst into a little laugh and shake your head sadly. Bonus points if you can cite a study or book that contradicts whatever trailer-park ignorant thing she just said, but even if all you do is laugh and shake your head, you can then go home, look up a study that contradicts her, and then helpfully email it to her WITH A BIG SMILE.

After no more than two months of this I guarantee that she will feel stupid and incompetent, and be afraid of opening her mouth to you about childrearing because she will know that you'll laugh at her and send her a link that makes her feel like a backwards-ass hillbilly.

Extra EXTRA bonus points if you think up a list of, say, five ultra-trashy parenting errors, and when she says you should do something a certain way you can whip out your little laugh and head shake, and say something like "Should I give him Coke in his bottle, too?".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh, and the words "Where do you come up with this stuff?" are your friends. Even if you don't have anything else, the laughing head shake and that line will put a damper on her enthusiasm REAL fast. And seriously, dropping Asshole from the communication loop completely and making everything Monkey-related her problem will get both of their attention really fast. If Asshole asks you about it, sweetly say "Oh, I got the impression from her that she was going to be taking over most of the parenting at your end... maybe you should talk to her to clarify what's going on, and get back to me.".

[Freeky]

Oh, and the words "Where do you come up with this stuff?" are your friends. Even if you don't have anything else, the laughing head shake and that line will put a damper on her enthusiasm REAL fast. And seriously, dropping Asshole from the communication loop completely and making everything Monkey-related her problem will get both of their attention really fast. If Asshole asks you about it, sweetly say "Oh, I got the impression from her that she was going to be taking over most of the parenting at your end... maybe you should talk to her to clarify what's going on, and get back to me.".

PffffHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  This is fucking GOLD, Nigel. 

Also, what constitutes childrearing issues?  At age four, it seems like he's pretty much good to go.  He doesn't even act up all that often, except for a few days right when he comes back to me.