Unlimited Evil Goat Fail Thread.

[Freeky]

How do you all get rid of the persistent ones? The ones that've come in so far have been like all, "Oh, I'm not wowing you? Aw. Ok, then, I guess i'll stop..."

Seriously?  There have only been about two dozen in 7 years.  A few have been banned, a few had account problems (legit and otherwise) that nobody could be arsed to fix, and the rest were finally run off when they realized that they had, once again, done nothing but make assholes of themselves, and had once again failed to make a single friend.

Even for dumbfucks, negative attention must eventually wear thin.

That isn't bad, when you look at it in the long run.

Perhaps this one is a troll? It's acting like one.

No, Freeky, this is what we call a "pinealist".  It is his self-imposed task to be WACKY and ZANY pretty much ALL THE TIME.

He hasn't realized that it makes everyone hate him...and when he does realize it, he'll monkey out and do it ON PURPOSE just to SHOW US ALL.  Then he'll eventually bugger off to the Myspace Discordian crowd, and bitch about what a pack of assholes we are for not recognizing his genius, and how we're all FAKE DISCORDIANS.

It's fucking formulaic.  You can set your fucking watch to it.

.....

Fail.

[East Coast Hustle]

In before Daruko.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In before Daruko.

I keep forgetting that.

But this is more "Mal3 meets The Lamanite".

[Nast]

How likely do you think it is that he'll eventually go for the Social Experiment? I mean, he's already getting close to the Really Real Discordian phase, it's only logical progression.

[evil_goat]

this is funny.  i've never managed to be hated so quickly.  i'll be the evil nemesis here, hiding in my fortress and gathering an army of dancing badgers.  maybe even trance dancing badgers. 

am I a troll, nah, just bored.  I only lived under a bridge one time, and I prefer pointy sticks to clubs.  Peace out, I have to go eat Top Ramen.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

this is funny.  i've never managed to be hated so quickly.  i'll be the evil nemesis here, hiding in my fortress and gathering an army of dancing badgers.  maybe even trance dancing badgers. 

am I a troll, nah, just bored.  I only lived under a bridge one time, and I prefer pointy sticks to clubs.  Peace out, I have to go eat Top Ramen.

Don't hurry back.  And no, while you can gather whatever you like, your posts will all wind up in this thread, in something less than 24 hours.

More like 12 at the outside.

Because you are boring.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

How likely do you think it is that he'll eventually go for the Social Experiment? I mean, he's already getting close to the Really Real Discordian phase, it's only logical progression.

He'll go social experiment followed by disillusioned and bitter.  He'll bypass the really real part.

He's already bragging to me that he "fucks everything up, it's what he does..."

The only good news is that this fail monkey is going to be a particular pleasure to drop on the Myspace crowd.  I already feel like Paul Tibbets.

[Dimocritus]

 I'm confusing myself.

Maybe you should sit down, stop talking and take a deep breath. That's not meth, it's Dishwasher detergent. Put your head between your knees so it'll have an easier time seeping into your brain...

I can't fucking stand it, Dimo.

They all show up trying to wow us on their first day, and it makes me want to find power tools and head down to the old folks' home.  Seriously.  It's like watching intelligent people chew on paint chips.  It makes me fucking crazy.  And you can't talk them out of it, they dig in their heels and they're gonna SHOW YOU man, they're gonna SHOW YOU ALL just how wacky and outlandish they really are.

It makes me want to quit this shit and become a Goddamned Calvinist, because at least they get to hit their recruits when they get like this.  No shit.  I can't deal with it anymore, it's all become so Goddamned tedious.  Each one of the fuckers is JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE, and they KEEP COMING like an army of faceless fucking drones or those terminator thingies from Ahnold's movies, except instead of wisecracking in a thick German accent (because robots are all fucking German, don't question it), they babble and jabber nonsense until the rage and hate backs up into my skull and finds a weak spot.  And you'll all taste my brain meat before we're done here.

And not even THAT will stop the little retards.  They'll think they've "mindfucked" me, when all they've done is goddamn bore me to death.

Dimo, kill them.  Kill them all.  Your spiritual adviser commands you.  Start with the East coast and move left.

Richter, of course, is to be spared, as is Squid.  Use Cram as a club to finish these bastards off.

Okay for now,
Roger.

Y'know, Rog, you're absolutely right. But it wasn't all that long ago that I was eating paint chips myself. Heck, I can kinda still taste 'em. The whole fact of the matter is that these goofs are either going to realize that we don't find their choice of dietary supplements to be entertaining or amusing or their going to die from lead poisoning. In fact, looking at some of the symptoms, I'd say the leads about to finish him off. Irritability, aggressiveness, hyperactivity, being easily distracted, impulsiveness, learning problems. Yeah, I'd say that he's well on his way, so let's not worry too much about him. We can just roll him over into a corner and throw a tarp over him until he's finished and, in the mean time, just ignore his delirious moanings, it'll be over soon enough.

Moving along, you don't wanna a be a Calvanist, Rog. The violence and negative reinforcement are all good and fine, but those people don't bathe! Even frikkin' animals bathe, Rog. Animals!

Kill them? Kill them I will, and not with "kindness" or any of that other passive-resistance bull-shit either. Nope, if you're gonna kill them, there's only one way to do it and, if you do it right, it results in death. I have me a small platoon ready to start marching as soon as I get that goddamn land fief from Suu. And honestly, if anything, I'd make a better club...

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

  I'm confusing myself.

Maybe you should sit down, stop talking and take a deep breath. That's not meth, it's Dishwasher detergent. Put your head between your knees so it'll have an easier time seeping into your brain...

I can't fucking stand it, Dimo.

They all show up trying to wow us on their first day, and it makes me want to find power tools and head down to the old folks' home.  Seriously.  It's like watching intelligent people chew on paint chips.  It makes me fucking crazy.  And you can't talk them out of it, they dig in their heels and they're gonna SHOW YOU man, they're gonna SHOW YOU ALL just how wacky and outlandish they really are.

It makes me want to quit this shit and become a Goddamned Calvinist, because at least they get to hit their recruits when they get like this.  No shit.  I can't deal with it anymore, it's all become so Goddamned tedious.  Each one of the fuckers is JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE, and they KEEP COMING like an army of faceless fucking drones or those terminator thingies from Ahnold's movies, except instead of wisecracking in a thick German accent (because robots are all fucking German, don't question it), they babble and jabber nonsense until the rage and hate backs up into my skull and finds a weak spot.  And you'll all taste my brain meat before we're done here.

And not even THAT will stop the little retards.  They'll think they've "mindfucked" me, when all they've done is goddamn bore me to death.

Dimo, kill them.  Kill them all.  Your spiritual adviser commands you.  Start with the East coast and move left.

Richter, of course, is to be spared, as is Squid.  Use Cram as a club to finish these bastards off.

Okay for now,
Roger.

Y'know, Rog, you're absolutely right. But it wasn't all that long ago that I was eating paint chips myself. Heck, I can kinda still taste 'em. The whole fact of the matter is that these goofs are either realize that we don't find their choice of dietary supplements to be entertaining or amusing or their going to die from lead poisoning. In fact, looking at some of the symptoms, I'd say the leads about to finish him off. Irritability, aggressiveness, hyperactivity, being easily distracted, impulsiveness, learning problems. Yeah, I'd say that he's well on his way, so let's not worry to much about him. We can just roll him over into a corner and throw a tarp over him until he's finished and, in the mean time, just ignore his delirious moanings, it'll be over soon enough.

Moving along, you don't wanna a be a Calvanist, Rog. The violence and negative reinforcement are all good and fine, but those people don't bathe! Even frikkin' animals bathe, Rog. Animals!

Kill them? Kill them I will, and not with "kindness" or any of that other passive-resistance bull-shit either. Nope, if you're gonna kill them, there's only one way to do it and, if you do it right, it results in death. I have me a small platoon ready to start marching as soon as I get that goddamn land fief from Suu. And honestly, if anything, I'd make a better club...

Please to be sidestepping St. Louis, or at least my little part of it!



And to the OP.....  that Bdeger Badger Badger shit is what 10 years old?  Couldn't you come up with something new?  Damn!

[Dimocritus]

Everything in my path will be destroyed or assimilated. My advice to you is you should just start wrecking the place up in anticipation of our arrival and be ready to jump on the death-train as it rolls by.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Evil Goat, please read http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=15658.0 I think that will clear up the misunderstandings here.

[That One Guy]

Do As Thou Wilt, But Remember No-One Likes A Douchebag

Troof, and I think I finally found the perfect wording to sum up my personal philosophy. Thanks!

[hooplala]

Oy.

Seven minutes of my life I'll never get back.

[Cramulus]

A 5 page thread already?

I expected some pretty heavy fail. But it turns out the guy's only made 15 posts?



yuo got my hopes up

[The Good Reverend Roger]

A 5 page thread already?

I expected some pretty heavy fail. But it turns out the guy's only made 15 posts?



yuo got my hopes up

Fuck it.  Someone else can clean up the poop, I suppose, since there seems to be a minimum requirement of which I am unaware. 

Hey goat, you're off your leash.  If you shit anywhere, let Cram know, wouldja?  Seeing as how I'm doing it wrong.