UNLIMITED SARAH PALIN APPRECIATION THREAD!

[Cain]

Is anyone else reminded of the premise of the Ayn Rand parody, Telemachus Sneezed in Illuminatus!?  Basically Beck's followers believe (or believe they believe) that that is contemporary reality.

[Telarus]

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:KZngmbymoCUJ:bkmarcus.com/cache/RAW/TelemachusSneezed/+%22Telemachus+Sneezed%22&cd=3&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us



Telemachus Sneezed  deals with a time in the near future when we dirty, filthy, freaky, lazy, dope-smoking, frantic-fucking anarchists have brought Law and Order to a nervous collapse in America'. The heroine, Taffy Rhinestone, is, like Atlanta was once herself, a member of Women's Liberation and a believer in socialism, anarchism, free abortions and the charisma of Che. Then comes the rude awakening: food riots, industrial stagnation, a reign of lawless looting and plunder, everything George Wallace ever warned us against — but the Supreme Court, who are all anarchists with names ending in -stein or -farb or -berger (there is no overt anti-Semitism in the book), keeps repealing laws and taking away the rights of policemen. Finally, in the fifth chapter — the climax of Book One — the heroine, poor toughy Taffy, gets raped fifteen times by an oversexed black brute right out of The Birth of a Nation, while a group of cops stand by cursing, wringing their hands and frothing at the mouth because the Supreme Court rulings won't allow them to take any action.

In Book Two, which takes place a few years later, things have degenerated even further and factory pollution has been replaced by a thick layer of marijuana smoke hanging over the country. The Supreme Court is gone, butchered by LSD crazed Mau-Maus who mistook them for a meeting of the Washington chapter of the Policemen's Benevolent Association. The President and a shadowy government-in-exile are skulking about Montreal, living a gloomy emigre existence; the Blind Tigers, a rather thinly disguised caricature of the Black Panthers, are terrorizing white women everywhere from Bangor to Walla Walla; the crazy anarchists are forcing abortions on women whether they want them or not; and television shows nothing but Maoist propaganda and Danish stag films. Women, of course, are the worst sufferers in this blightmare, and, despite all her karate lessons, Taffy has been raped so many times, not only by standard vage-pen but orally and anally as well, that she's practically a walking sperm bank. Then comes the big surprise, the monstro-rape to end all rapes, committed by a pure Aryan with hollow cheeks, a long lean body, and a face that never changes expression. "Everything is fire," he tells her, as he pulls his prick out afterwards, "and don't you ever forget it." Then he disappears.

Well, it turns out that Taffy has gone all icky-sticky-gooey over this character, and she determines to find him again and make an honest man of him. Meanwhile, however, a subplot is brewing, involving Taffy's evil brother, Diamond Jim Rhinestone, an unscrupulous dope pusher who is mixing heroin in his grass to make everybody an addict and enslave them to him. Diamond Jim is allied with the sinister Blind Tigers and a secret society, the Enlightened Ones, who cannot achieve world government as long as a patriotic and paranoid streak of nationalism remains in America.

But the forces of evil are being stymied. A secret underground group has been formed, using the cross as their symbol, and their slogan is appearing scrawled on walls everywhere:
SAVE YOUR FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES, BOYS, THE STATE WILL RISE AGAIN!

Unless this group is found and destroyed, Diamond Jim will not be able to addict everyone to horse, the Blind Tigers won't be able to rape the few remaining white women they haven't gotten to yet, and the Enlightened Ones will not succeed in creating one world government and one monotonous soybean diet for the whole planet. But a clue is discovered: the leader of the Underground is a pure Aryan with hollow cheeks, a long lean body, and a face that never changes expression. Furthermore, he is in the habit of discussing Heracleitus for like seven hours on end (this is a neat trick, because only about a hundred sentences of the Dark Philosopher survive — but our hero, it turns out, gives lengthy comments on them).

At this point there is a major digression, while a herd of minor characters get on a Braniff jet for Ingolstadt. It soon develops that the pilot is tripping on acid, the copilot is bombed on Tangier hash and the stewardesses are all speed freaks and dykes, only interested in balling each other. Atlanta then takes you through the lives of each of the passengers and shows that the catastrophe that is about to befall them is richly deserved: all, in one way or another, had helped, to create the Dope Grope or Fucks Fix culture by denying the "self-evident truth" of some hermetic saying by Heracleitus. When the plane does a Steve Brodie into the North Atlantic, everybody on board, including the acid-tripping Captain Clark, are getting just what they merit for having denied that reality is really fire.

Meanwhile, Taffy has hired a private detective named Mickey "Cocktails" Molotov to search for her lost Aryan rapist with hollow cheeks. Before I could get into that, however, I was wondering about the synchronistic implications of the previous section, and called over one of the stewardesses.

It was in God's Lightning that I read Telemachus Sneezed, which I still think is a rip-roaring good yarn. That scene where Taffy Rhinestone sees the new King on television and it's her old rapist friend with the gaunt cheeks and he says, "My name is John Guilt" — man, that's writing. His hundred-and-three-page-long speech afterwards, explaining the importance of guilt and showing why all the anti-Heracleiteans and Freudians and relativists are destroying civilization by destroying guilt, certainly is persuasive — especially to somebody like me with three-going-on-four personalities each of which was betraying the others. I still quote his last line, "Without guilt there can be no civilization." Her nonfiction book, Militarism: The Unknown Ideal for the New Heracleitean is, I think, a distinct letdown, but the God's Lightning bumper stickers asking "What Is John Guilt?" sure give people the creeps until they learn the answer.

[Cramulus]

FROM: Mark Halperin

TO: Coastal Elites, the Media and Establishment Politicians of Both Parties

RE: Sarah Heath Palin

Don't underestimate Sarah Palin. Yes, she is hyper-polarizing: she sends her fans into rapture and drives her detractors stark raving mad. But she can dominate the news cycle with a single tweet and generate three days of coverage with a single speech (as she did this past Friday in Iowa). Her name recognition is universal.

You are right to complain that she is not offering specific policy proposals and that her inaccessibility to media outlets other than the one that pays her — Fox News — puts her beyond the kind of scrutiny and accountability we have come to expect for our leaders.

But the mistake you are making is to assume that Palin needs or wants to play by the standard rules of American politics. Or that it even occurs to her to do so. Trash her all you want (even you Republicans who are doing it all the time behind her back) for being uninformed, demagogic and incoherent, and brandish the poll numbers that show fewer and fewer Americans think she is qualified to be President. Strain to apply political and practical norms to Alaska's former governor. You are missing the point.

Surely you've come to accept the reality that as a businessperson, Palin is a genius. The gusher of revenue from her speeches, books and television deals sweeps away any doubt that she can brilliantly harness her energy, charisma and popularity into a moneymaking bonanza.

But what you need to appreciate is that the same dynamics of supply and demand that Palin has cleverly exploited for financial gain also make her inimitably formidable as a political force.



more here: http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,2020215,00.html

[Cain]

Mark Halperin is probably the least original DC village "thinker" out there, and his attempts to be edgy and outre are painful to watch.

[Mangrove]

Is Christine O'Donnell a plant to make Sarah Palin appear educated?

Because when Palin did the 'I can see Russian from my house' bit, a lot of people got a good chuckle out of that. But Christine O'Donnell has thoroughly upped the ante of imbecility with her belief that scientists had grown 'human brains' inside mice.

[Doktor Howl]

Is Christine O'Donnell a plant to make Sarah Palin appear educated?

Because when Palin did the 'I can see Russian from my house' bit, a lot of people got a good chuckle out of that. But Christine O'Donnell has thoroughly upped the ante of imbecility with her belief that scientists had grown 'human brains' inside mice.

She's America, Mang.   

[Thurnez Isa]

Is Christine O'Donnell a plant to make Sarah Palin appear educated?

Because when Palin did the 'I can see Russian from my house' bit, a lot of people got a good chuckle out of that. But Christine O'Donnell has thoroughly upped the ante of imbecility with her belief that scientists had grown 'human brains' inside mice.

Why would anyone punish a mouse like that?

[Adios]

Is Christine O'Donnell a plant to make Sarah Palin appear educated?

Because when Palin did the 'I can see Russian from my house' bit, a lot of people got a good chuckle out of that. But Christine O'Donnell has thoroughly upped the ante of imbecility with her belief that scientists had grown 'human brains' inside mice.

Why would anyone punish a mouse like that?

Because Palin saw it from her kitchen window.

[Jasper]

Is Christine O'Donnell a plant to make Sarah Palin appear educated?

Because when Palin did the 'I can see Russian from my house' bit, a lot of people got a good chuckle out of that. But Christine O'Donnell has thoroughly upped the ante of imbecility with her belief that scientists had grown 'human brains' inside mice.

All I can think to say is, why didn't we think of that?

[Cain]

I'd vote for whoever did grow human brains inside mice, and recruit those mice for the CIA.  They'd be able to listen into to terrorist conversations from inside the walls.  And when they got discovered, if they were dormice, the terrorists would just squee, or possibly roast and eat them, either of which is better than being tortured for information then beheaded and having the video put on Youtube.

[Cain]

Also, being against masturbation is pro-socialist

http://www.slate.com/id/2267654/

In other words, masturbation is wrong because you do it alone, outside the "moral order" of social relations in which you're supposed to perform your proper function. It's something you do for yourself instead of "giving" yourself to the larger purpose of human procreation. You're just a cog in the wheel. You exist to serve the community.

O'Donnell's version of this critique is more explicitly socialist: If he already knows what pleases him, and he can please himself, then why am I in the picture? The guy is taking care of his own business, and O'Donnell is upset because this makes him less dependent on others.

Is O'Donnell going to outlaw masturbation? Of course not. No government could enforce such a law. But that doesn't lessen her antipathy to non-procreative sexuality, even when it's protected by private industry. In 1995, when Coors offered health benefits to partners of its gay employees, O'Donnell said that her organization, Concerned Women for America, opposed the company's policy because "it legitimizes the homosexual lifestyle." In Catholic doctrine, masturbation and homosexuality are wrong for the same reason: They don't serve the kind of conjugal union that can lead to procreation.

The next time you hear O'Donnell decry socialism, remember how little she respects the individual in the most private of matters. Your wallet doesn't belong to society. Neither does what's under it.

And Nietzscheans everywhere rejoiced that the Christianity/Socialism axis was confirmed yet again.

[Jenne]

 That was a good satire making fun of her even further.  At least I hope it was meant satirically.

[Requia ☣]

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/11/24/palin-north-korea/

PALIN: But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies.

[Thurnez Isa]

That's just because Korea is little too far for her to see from Alaska.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/11/24/palin-north-korea/

PALIN: But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.

Hey, to be fair there are a lot of Koreas. Infact there are almost 3. Its easy to get them mixed up.