On the socialization of children

[Cosine 5]

Quantum inseperability.  Crudely stated, two particles that have been in contact with each other appear to act as if they are exchanging information at a distance instantaneously.  If you'd like, I can get technical.

Something you could clarify for me, if'n you don't mind. I've heard tell of this QUIP and was wondering - has science actually now recorded two tiny little pieces of stuff clearly exchanging over a distance like some kind of telepathy or teleportation or something or is my interpretation the usual case of - layman get wrong end of double-slit stick?

Cos if it's the former then surely this changes just about fucking everything?

Well, what does the math say, LMNO?  Because that's all you really need to know.

The math says that really weird stuff happens when things get really small.

LMNO, PhD
-Doctorate in explaining stuff.

A couple more recent experiments have indicated that the stuff may not even have to be quite as small as we once thought... we're still learning a lot.

That is quite the frightening thought. Quantum mechanics wants to eat my soul. I can normally protect myself by simply not looking at the tiny constituent particles of things...

[LMNO]

The math also says that the really weird stuff stop happening when stuff gets bigger.

The cat?  Should be the same even at a macroscopic level.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen that thing?  It was just here a minute ago.

[Doktor Howl]

The math also says that the really weird stuff stop happening when stuff gets bigger.

The cat?  Should be the same even at a macroscopic level.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen that thing?  It was just here a minute ago.

I haven't been looking. 

Dok,
Knows that one "experiment" tells you everything you need to know about the universe.  It cheats.

[Doktor Howl]

Quantum inseperability.  Crudely stated, two particles that have been in contact with each other appear to act as if they are exchanging information at a distance instantaneously.  If you'd like, I can get technical.

Something you could clarify for me, if'n you don't mind. I've heard tell of this QUIP and was wondering - has science actually now recorded two tiny little pieces of stuff clearly exchanging over a distance like some kind of telepathy or teleportation or something or is my interpretation the usual case of - layman get wrong end of double-slit stick?

Cos if it's the former then surely this changes just about fucking everything?

Well, what does the math say, LMNO?  Because that's all you really need to know.

The math says that really weird stuff happens when things get really small.

LMNO, PhD
-Doctorate in explaining stuff.

A couple more recent experiments have indicated that the stuff may not even have to be quite as small as we once thought... we're still learning a lot.

That is quite the frightening thought. Quantum mechanics wants to eat my soul. I can normally protect myself by simply not looking at the tiny constituent particles of things...

What, you yanked your eyeballs out?

[P3nT4gR4m]

The math also says that the really weird stuff stop happening when stuff gets bigger.

The cat?  Should be the same even at a macroscopic level.

Wait a fucking minute, are you telling me Schroedinger's cat was microscopic?

[Cosine 5]

He's mishandling a theory that information may travel faster than light.

BALLS.  

He's trying to conflate "awareness" with "information".  Taking "quantum tunneling" and shitting some Zen garbage all over it.

DANCING WU LI MASTERS, YOU'RE ON IN 5!

This is marvelous.

I'm a marvelous guy.  Sometimes I get so fucking marvelous that I shit all over my desk chair, with the sound of a dying diesel engine and the smell of Cincinnati in August.  Then I have to eat more chicken skin, or my marvelous reserves get too low and I start taking metaphysical bullshit all seriously, and Nurse Freeky has to whack me with the tenderizing hammer again.

I am undecided yet as to whether I should feel sorry for your desk chair or if it is secretly enjoying you shitting on it in all of your marvelousness. Probably the latter.

Used to be the latter, back when I was a Holy Man.  Now I am universally hated by my coworkers and my office furniture, but I find that to be for the best.  My boss, however, has grown a sense of humor just in time for him to get promoted (now I have to break in a fresh one), and has ordered that my office bathroom be labeled "Roger's Vomitorium.  Enter at Own Risk."

He has also backed up the Janitor, when he refused to clean my bathroom out of my apparent "lack of human decency", though I rather suspect that he's just squeamish.  This annoys me, and I have yet to decide whether to clean it myself or let it turn into something vile.  This seems to be a self-solving dilemma.

A Holy Man?

Yes, there used to be this "Good Reverend Roger" guy, but he choked on his own bile and spontaneously combusted, late last winter.

He was a silly fucker, who believed in the essential goodness of mankind - that one day, people would wake up to that essential goodness, the way people will suddenly realize that an argument is silly.  He was a dick, but he wanted to help people.

Then he died of stupidity, as described above, and then Doktor Howl had to step in and see that the bills got paid.  Dok's a little different, only cares about The Truth, knows that humans are fucked up primates, wants - in an abstract way - for them all to die or at least get the fuck off of his planet, and oh yeah, let's have a little HORRIBLE BADFUN while we're at it.

Well, then we have a few things in common.

[Cosine 5]

Quantum inseperability.  Crudely stated, two particles that have been in contact with each other appear to act as if they are exchanging information at a distance instantaneously.  If you'd like, I can get technical.

Something you could clarify for me, if'n you don't mind. I've heard tell of this QUIP and was wondering - has science actually now recorded two tiny little pieces of stuff clearly exchanging over a distance like some kind of telepathy or teleportation or something or is my interpretation the usual case of - layman get wrong end of double-slit stick?

Cos if it's the former then surely this changes just about fucking everything?

Well, what does the math say, LMNO?  Because that's all you really need to know.

The math says that really weird stuff happens when things get really small.

LMNO, PhD
-Doctorate in explaining stuff.

A couple more recent experiments have indicated that the stuff may not even have to be quite as small as we once thought... we're still learning a lot.

That is quite the frightening thought. Quantum mechanics wants to eat my soul. I can normally protect myself by simply not looking at the tiny constituent particles of things...

What, you yanked your eyeballs out?

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Quantum inseperability.  Crudely stated, two particles that have been in contact with each other appear to act as if they are exchanging information at a distance instantaneously.  If you'd like, I can get technical.

Something you could clarify for me, if'n you don't mind. I've heard tell of this QUIP and was wondering - has science actually now recorded two tiny little pieces of stuff clearly exchanging over a distance like some kind of telepathy or teleportation or something or is my interpretation the usual case of - layman get wrong end of double-slit stick?

Cos if it's the former then surely this changes just about fucking everything?

Well, what does the math say, LMNO?  Because that's all you really need to know.

The math says that really weird stuff happens when things get really small.

LMNO, PhD
-Doctorate in explaining stuff.

A couple more recent experiments have indicated that the stuff may not even have to be quite as small as we once thought... we're still learning a lot.

Ooh, could you add links here?
http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=25604.msg889994#new

Added

[Doktor Howl]

Well, then we have a few things in common.

There's always room for another Doktor.  As long as you meet the qualifications.

[Doktor Howl]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

[Cosine 5]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

The confusion afflicted upon my poor quasi-educated mind by the concepts manifest in quantum mechanics.
Quantum entanglement is cool, just... mind-boggling.
Probably because I learned Einstein's stuff first.

[Doktor Howl]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

The confusion afflicted upon my poor quasi-educated mind by the concepts manifest in quantum mechanics.
Quantum entanglement is cool, just... mind-boggling.
Probably because I learned Einstein's stuff first.

Sorry, then you aren't qualified to be a Doktor at this time.

[Cosine 5]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

The confusion afflicted upon my poor quasi-educated mind by the concepts manifest in quantum mechanics.
Quantum entanglement is cool, just... mind-boggling.
Probably because I learned Einstein's stuff first.

Sorry, then you aren't qualified to be a Doktor at this time.

Of course not; I don't want to be a Doktor. If I am to have a title, I don't want somebody else's.
And I wouldn't be up to it. Must finish some education first... everyone here seems to be much older than me.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

The confusion afflicted upon my poor quasi-educated mind by the concepts manifest in quantum mechanics.
Quantum entanglement is cool, just... mind-boggling.
Probably because I learned Einstein's stuff first.

Sorry, then you aren't qualified to be a Doktor at this time.

Of course not; I don't want to be a Doktor. If I am to have a title, I don't want somebody else's.
And I wouldn't be up to it. Must finish some education first... everyone here seems to be much older than me.

Many of us are, but it's an incorrect assumption.

[Doktor Howl]

Closing them works just as well.

But no. Clarification - I can normally protect myself by not thinking about things at an atomic level.

Protect yourself from what?

The confusion afflicted upon my poor quasi-educated mind by the concepts manifest in quantum mechanics.
Quantum entanglement is cool, just... mind-boggling.
Probably because I learned Einstein's stuff first.

Sorry, then you aren't qualified to be a Doktor at this time.

Of course not; I don't want to be a Doktor. If I am to have a title, I don't want somebody else's.
And I wouldn't be up to it. Must finish some education first... everyone here seems to be much older than me.

It isn't a title, it's a profession.

Specifically, the profession of grabbing the bull by the tail and facing the facts in the face, no matter how awful they may be.  It's about The Truth, instead of comforting lies.  If the universe is really that weird, it does no good to pretend that it isn't.