Post your "American Moments" here.

[Freeky]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

[Adios]

Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.

Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.

Guard. But I have to.

Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.

Guard; I can deny you entry.

Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.

Guard; What?

Me; Call them.

Guard; No.

Me; then you have no right to search my person.

Guard; 

Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.

Guard; That will work.

Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket  and my wallet in the other.

Relieved Guard; Go ahead.

Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

I was banking on the impatience angle, but I see your point.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.

Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.

Guard. But I have to.

Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.

Guard; I can deny you entry.

Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.

Guard; What?

Me; Call them.

Guard; No.

Me; then you have no right to search my person.

Guard; 

Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.

Guard; That will work.

Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket  and my wallet in the other.

Relieved Guard; Go ahead.

Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.

[Nast]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

I was banking on the impatience angle, but I see your point.

It's true, I think that one only counts as a Eurasian First World Moment. The real American thing to do would be to lower your quivering, grease-caked mass onto a Rascal scooter and start wheezing something incoherent about the bus driver being a socialist.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

.. and how you're madder than fish grease

[Nast]

There's a lot of grease involved, yes.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Yeah, none of that applies to me....

[Adios]

Security at the Stampede said I need to check your pockets.

Me; took 2 steps back and said I didn't give you the privilege to trample my civil rights.

Guard. But I have to.

Me; not unless you want to get your ass sued off.

Guard; I can deny you entry.

Me; call your supervisor and a cop, now please.

Guard; What?

Me; Call them.

Guard; No.

Me; then you have no right to search my person.

Guard; 

Me; I will show you what is in my pockets.

Guard; That will work.

Me; Shows a pack of smokes in one side pocket  and my wallet in the other.

Relieved Guard; Go ahead.

Me; With a flask in each back pocket says Thank you.

The only alcohol they sell there is coors and miller. I would rather drink from the port-a-potty.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I don't blame you, lol. I'm just picturing the scene. Very well played!

[Richter]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.

Yeah. I was in Newton.

[Cain]

When someone speaks to me in a language I don't understand, and I don't speak any languages they understand, I raise my voice, wave my hands and talk with a generically foreign accent.

[Suu]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.

Yeah. I was in Newton.

FUCK Newton.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Ok got one, today, instead of waiting for the bus that drops me off outside of my apartment, I took an alternate route and walked for a mile and half. Would have taken the same amount of time either way. Good choice, bad reason. I just didn't want to wait.

This isn't American because you opted to walk all that way.

If its Boston, you make better time across some parts of town on foot too.

Yeah. I was in Newton.

FUCK Newton.

What's wrong with Newton?