Post your "American Moments" here.

[Iron Sulfide]

I work at a staples.

within my first 6 months of working there, someone called in and asked if we had staplers.

this was not a prank phone call. (it turned out that she wanted a staple gun, but couldn't
figure out how to specify.)

[Richter]

http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/

[Jasper]

http://www.slashgear.com/we-salute-you-mr-toilet-cooler-go-cart-making-man-you-are-a-real-american-hero-0893337/

That was incredible.  The last line especially was an epiphany:

Doing 60mph with a beer in one hand while dropping a deuce is living the high life.

[Richter]

http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/07/08/parents-be-warned-your-kids-may-be-robo-tripping/?hpt=T2

CNN / Dr. Gupta report on reality 10 years late.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Only in America do they call you and ask "What Flavors" your urinal blocks come in!

My response before they wrote me up for it was to very nicely reply... "I don't know, I don't put those things in my mouth."

[Iron Sulfide]

talking with one of my managers last week, i musingly said, "Do you ever think that by making everything so EASY for our costumers, that we're actually fostering a stupid, incapable client base?"

He said, "Well, yeah, but it works."

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I got one:

I did house work for the sole purpose of coming across loose change to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Twid, is a little short until Thursday.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I've been bitching about my job... that I HAVE... at a BAR, over beer. That I can kind of afford. With friends.

[Rumckle]

I wish I could afford friends.

[BabylonHoruv]

The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.

Oh, and it was before noon.

You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?

Yes we do. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.

Oh, and it was before noon.

You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?

Yes we do. 

Yep. BadBeast, not sure what your selection over there is, since I've always had Guinness, Bass or the occasional local brew while over your way, but I imagine that the American offerings are usually Bud, Bud light, Michelob, Miller, Coors and maybe Rolling Rock, which are all generally consumed on a regular basis by those who lack the taste buds or the willingness/inability to shell out a couple of extra bucks for something more flavorful. Anyway, most of our better beers are made on smaller scales, and I doubt that they are exported internationally, except to maybe Canada and Mexico.

[Cain]

When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.

[Cainad (dec.)]

When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.

[Cain]

The best part?  This place is a ski resort and summer stopover on the way to more interesting places.  It's not some indigenous backwater, it's a small, modern town and most likely they were taking pictures of other, less idiotic tourists.

[Freeky]

When shopping on Saturday, I overheard two American tourists complaining about how the "inconsiderate locals" wouldn't hold still when they tried to take pictures of them.

For fuck's sake.

Please tell me they weren't fat AND had bermuda shorts and those ridiculously colorful shirts on... For the love of god, PLEASE tell me it isn't so.