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PD.com: "the lot of you are some of the most vicious, name calling, vile examples of humanity I've had the misfortune of attempting to communicate with.  Even attempting to mimic the general mood of the place toward people who think differently leaves a slimy feel on my skin.  Reptilian, even."

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Post your "American Moments" here.

Started by Doktor Howl, June 17, 2010, 04:47:25 PM

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Suu

Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

BadBeast

Apparently, Canada used (or didn't use) a fertilser or insecticide that didn't comply with US regs, and taking a Sandwich over the border constituted  an act of 'import'. (Important enough to take my bloody lunch away, at least)
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

AFK

Your sandwich obviously didn't have high enough levels of DDT. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Dysnomia

I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.
It's all fun and games, till someone gets herpes.

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/122010/mow-the-lawn.gif

Suu

LAWL@LlZZAY
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Doktor Howl

Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.

Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
Molon Lube

Dysnomia

I am going to age the way Nature intended.



With hair color, chemical peels, and if necessary, an eventual boob job to keep the GIRLS where they're supposed to be.  As I refuse to ever roll them up into my bra.   :x
It's all fun and games, till someone gets herpes.

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/122010/mow-the-lawn.gif

Doktor Howl

Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 10:05:50 PM
I am going to age the way Nature intended.



With hair color, chemical peels, and if necessary, an eventual boob job to keep the GIRLS where they're supposed to be.  As I refuse to ever roll them up into my bra.   :x

I'm just going to go to shit, becoming ever more disreputable, until I finally dissolve into a puddle of curmudgeonry.
Molon Lube

Dysnomia

When I get beyond the age where I'm even slightly salvageable, I'll just lose my shit and be the bitchy old lady who cusses at kids, and everyone thinks is senile.   :lulz:
It's all fun and games, till someone gets herpes.

http://cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/122010/mow-the-lawn.gif

Doktor Howl

Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 10:14:19 PM
When I get beyond the age where I'm even slightly salvageable, I'll just lose my shit and be the bitchy old lady who cusses at kids, and everyone thinks is senile.   :lulz:

Fuck yeah.

GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU HOODLUMS!

Dok,
Doesn't have a lawn.
Molon Lube

BadBeast

Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.

Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
What about your 'Back, crack, and sack'?
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Doktor Howl

Quote from: BadBeast on June 21, 2010, 10:15:03 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 21, 2010, 09:57:00 PM
Quote from: BLARFINGARF on June 21, 2010, 09:27:05 PM
I am currently coloring my hair because I nearly had a heart attack about the couple white hairs that are starting to grow in.

Reason #5 that I shave my head and face.
What about your 'Back, crack, and sack'?

Fuck no.  I'm a goddamn Yeti.  I have people come by once a month to beat the birds and small animals out of my back hair alone.

Everyone should have people.
Molon Lube

BadBeast

"Wax on, wax off". Unless you really are a 'special habitat'.
Try to get yourself designated as a 'site of special scientific interest' then you might qualify for shitloads of govt money. (I tried to do that, but I wasn't 'special' enough)
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4

Juana

The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.

Oh, and it was before noon.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

BadBeast

Quote from: Hover Cat on June 21, 2010, 10:23:49 PM
The other day, while driving to the bank, I saw a very, very large redneck standing on the side of the busy road, waiting to cross (not at the cross walk a hundred feet up, where he could have had immediate crossing) while holding a gigantic soda in one hand and clutching a case of shitty beer.

Oh, and it was before noon.
You mean to say you have 'good' beer in America? Nice warm Beer? From a wooden barrel?
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4