Author Topic: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST  (Read 108320 times)

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 62914
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #945 on: February 27, 2016, 08:15:08 pm »

I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.

IT BEGINS

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #946 on: February 27, 2016, 08:25:15 pm »
I had a vividly hallucinatory dream of Diogenes and his early "Dog Pack" discovering an orange grove. It was awesome and I'll make it a short story in Dustrael's narrative style.

but FIRST

8 MORE ORANGES ARE GOING DOWN TO TIE AT 22!

I'll have 8+ hours before midnight to put more away!

NONE SHALL AGAIN TOUCH NIGEL'S TITLE!!! NONE SHALL DARE!!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #947 on: February 27, 2016, 08:27:11 pm »
On a scientific note I feel fine! A bit bloated... I passed chunkily but acceptably. The smell was like hell ripped open in a breeze, but nothing I don't deal with professionally. It's time to push the envelope!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #948 on: February 27, 2016, 08:34:04 pm »
I really can't believe this is happening again.

Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.

Oh no! To get caught in a loop eating nothing but oranges and shittalking.. Sysiphius has it good by comparison!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #949 on: February 27, 2016, 09:18:58 pm »
I was thinking "I WILL DEVOUR YOUR WHOLE SPECIES" whilst peeling number 20

AND IT SPAT RIGHT IN MY EYE!!  :fnord:
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5928
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #950 on: February 27, 2016, 09:33:28 pm »
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #951 on: February 27, 2016, 09:49:49 pm »
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5928
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #952 on: February 27, 2016, 09:55:26 pm »
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #953 on: February 27, 2016, 10:05:41 pm »
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.

Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.

I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.

I do. I'm peeling with my bare hands and have not taken my own advice. But now nobody can say that the reasonable path was unknown.

IF WE CAN RULE OUT IDIOCY THEN WHAT'S LEFT TO EXPLAIN THE BEHAVIOUR!??

It must be something else. Something sinister and citrus.

Edit to add:
I've had 22,
And am sick
of the bastards

Like looking at the last 14 I have makes me heave a little. I will go on, OH YES, but must rest.

Something is stirring within. The ORANGES know... oh they know.

(Mild hallucinations? Yay!)
« Last Edit: February 27, 2016, 10:12:14 pm by The Wizard Joseph »
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5928
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #954 on: February 27, 2016, 10:11:38 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #955 on: February 27, 2016, 10:14:01 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5928
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #956 on: February 27, 2016, 10:49:06 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.


The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #957 on: February 27, 2016, 10:57:44 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.



Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 5928
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #958 on: February 27, 2016, 11:10:27 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.



Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.

The Wizard Joseph

  • Totes into Thoth and Thelema, but these thots still won't fuck me.
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 3708
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
« Reply #959 on: February 27, 2016, 11:22:37 pm »
Does vodka count as other food?

No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.

9 down

the goal of this is not to be comfortable.



Well I better get eating again then!!

Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.

Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?

lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.

#10 is sitting there, taunting me.

Destroy it!!

I'm going to switch over anyway,
fuck the whole GI system!!

I borrowed this pic and don't know how to embed it, but it's PERFECT.

Guess I should get peeling.

TIMES A WASTING!!!

OTHER THAN THE
HALLCINATIONS
AND GIDDYNESS
I FEEL FUCKING FINE,
MORE ORANGES!!!


-possible last words of T.W. Joseph  :evil:

Edit note: it's exactly 5:23 pm by my smartphone when I happened to post that.

SO BE IT!!
« Last Edit: February 27, 2016, 11:24:25 pm by The Wizard Joseph »
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019